Genesis Endless Beginnings

Full day out with mom

2011-11-30T11:59:00.000-08:00

I had a busy day today. I had to woke up early to go to the dentist to have my teeth checked cos it ached a for a couple of days after my sparring sessions with the guys. I woke up @ 8am & reached Clementi dental clinic @ around 10am. I had to wait nearly 3 hrs to finally get it checked & it turns out that there was nothing wrong with my teeth except for the fact that my gums were kinda badly bruised & bleeding. The doc gave me some medications for my gums & i took my mom to KFC for lunch after we were through.

After lunch, I accompanied my mom to the super market for our monthly grocery shopping & boy did she need me for it, cos we bought so much stuff till most of the shoppers were staring @ us. Wierdos!! I guess they are the types who buys only the stuff needed for the day. Thankfully the cab didn't take much time to arrive & we managed to get home b4 3pm.

We unpacked all the groceries & rested for 2 hrs before we had to make our way to SGH to visit my Grandma who is warded there. It was raining heavily, crowded & all my relatives that arrive b4 us had already went home when we arrived.

Frankly i'm not close with my grandparents & frankly i dun care what happens to them but it obviously means a lot for my parents so i'm being supportive by accompanying my mom. With that said, after greeting my grandma, i took out my book & read it all the way till my mom signaled that we should call it a day.

I know that it must have sounded really bad, saying that i dun care what happened to my grandparents cos they have never contributed to my life other that a formality, people i have to visit 1st during Hari Raya. After i heard about what they made my parents go through when they were newly weds.

Now after giving them so much trouble in the past, they are asking my parents to be the one responsible for taking them home & taking care of my grandparents. Seriously?! They treated us like crap in the past & now that their own children is forsaking them, they're finally buttering up my parents & finally treating them nicely just cos they are the once taking care of my grandparent now. That is bullshit, no matter how u look at it!

I know a lot has changed since then but my grandparents never actually come forward & apologized for how they treated my mom back then. That's the reason why i don't really give a damn about what happens to them. For all the suffering they've caused my parents, i think my attitude towards them is fully justified.

Anyway, we took the bus home from SGH & been going to visit my grandma almost everyday since then.

The 1st meeting

2011-09-10T12:39:00.000-07:00

Went to Raya with Cuzzy Molly & family today. It was fun! We went to cuzzy's place 1st to have have breakfast. We then made our way to her relative's place around the same area. Her aunt kept complimenting me & kept staring @ me... i really hate the attention... made me feel awkward to be there. Flattering but Awkward. My parents & aunt ate in every single house we visited which was kinda impressive! Cos my mom usually dun eat much so i was amazed. LoL

We then made our way to Pasir Ris to go to my mom's besty's place. We took my uncle's car there like we usually do during Raya. Otw there, i can hear my mom whispering something to my aunt & dad. Then i remembered that her besty's the one who's daughter is the one who they want to intro me to. Sigh... I can't escape today... so i just kept my cool & play dumb while we made our way there.

I fell asleep in the car & woke up by the time we arrived. We made our way to their house & greeted them. The next thing i knew, i was showcased to their family... but i have to say that i'm kinda attracted to their daughter... cos ya she's hot =P

I totally forgot about the arrangement & totally forgot to workout before today. I bet she thinks i'm fat. Oh well... i'm juz gonna see what happens but if this works out, it'll be the 1st time i'll actually be dating someone i'm genuinely attracted at first sight. LoL I usually get attracted to somebody after getting to know that person. Well there's a first for everything i guess.

But i still have my doubts... especially when my aunt & cuzzy kept saying that Linda is very fierce. Pffft who do they think i am... it's ludicrous. How do u think i change so much throughout the years? It's cause of my fierce exs. I guess i need that type of girl. LoL. I kinda like it too. Hehe.

They served us dinner & while we were eating, my cuzzy kept giving me the eyebrows & my aunt kept asking what i think about the girl. Oh Am Gee!! Guyz!! Seriously!! 'shake heads' as if i'm gonna say that i'm interested in her right away. Sheesh. Can't i get to know her better? Is that too slow for u guyz?! This is serious ya noe?! Marriage shouldn't be taken lightly ever.

Her family is rich & her mom & mine are best friend. So thats a major plus to me but what i'm worried about is that... i dun even know if i can graduate from NP. The girl's from University for god sakes. Makes me feel inferior again & dat alone makes me think of my late ex who Birthday is tdy. Happy Birthday Sha, my love.

The only difference was that i was madly, truely, deeply in love with my late ex. Oh well, everything needs a first step, a start to actually go anywhere. Just that i'm kinda doubting this arrangement... I feel like i won't fit in to her family... mainly because i was sort of forced to meet her & i'm the type of guy who hates being forced to do anything. So this will take quite some time before it finally goes anywhere. LoL

Anyways... the day ended around 12+pm when we all went home. I couldn't sleep after that... msged AK(Atikah) my besty asking if she's already asleep but she didn't reply so i played games on my PS3 & now i'm writing this post.

A part of me just want to go ahead with the plan but a part of me just wants to avoid this but i have to find someone who can break down my walls before it's too late. I'm not getting any younger anyway. Sigh.

Wish i know what to do right now...

What will happen now

2011-09-09T10:51:00.001-07:00

The exams are over, the fasting month is over, Hari Raya is almost over. I've been playing games, going shopping, hanging out, trying not to think about the upcoming exam results. Only Allah noes how scared i am waiting for the news to reach me. I'll be lying if i say that i've been praying really hard so that i'll pass this unscathed. I guess i need more faith but sadly that's 1 thing i'm lacking...

I wish i can juz pray & it'll come back but sadly it won't. There are reasons to why i'm this way & it's all bad. If i can have at least one of the things i've lost over the years, maybe juz maybe i'll have my faith back. Sounds like bribery huh? U think so? Well... i know that there are plenty of people out there who feels the same way as i do.

I have learned that if you think that your life is bad, then there's probably someone somewhere out there who's is in way worst condition & facing way tougher problems than you. But can we accept things for what they are or do we fight & find a new purpose in life? WE FIGHT!! Fight till there no more breath in us... only then will we finally give up.

Well thats how i have lived my life thus far. I thought myself not to depend on others ever since i was 16. If u want something, then work hard to get it for yourself & if you fail, don't blame others but yourself. But what if your efforts seems to be in vain? What if every tiny bit of your body is telling you that u can't do it but your mind is telling u otherwise. Which will u follow? Ur Heart or mind?

Sometimes, we have to do something stupid in our lives just because it's the right thing to do. What i'm trying to say is that, I could have quit poly life & just find a job but my very soul won't let me... not after going so far to get there... I have to finish this road no matter what. So i wish & i asked my mom to pray as hard as she can in hopes that Allah could gaze upon me & bless me with the miracle i need to pass my exams & graduate from Poly.

Ya Allah please grant this wish... then maybe just maybe my faith would fully return. There's is nothing i want more than this... well this & wanting my late ex back alive but we all know that's impossible so ya please grant this wish for me.

Your partially faithful servant;

Mirza

times have changed

2011-08-02T10:32:00.001-07:00

Its fasting month again & for the first time in so many years, i'm actually looking forward to it. The darkness & shadow that clouded my heart has been lifted. From now on i'll celebrate & be happy enough for the both of us. I'll always remember the tragic accident that happened in 2003 but i'll also remember how happy she was back then on Hari Raya. It took her to actually appearing before me to finally make me realize this. I'm so sorry for making u worried.

Anyways, i noticed that my friends are getting injured one after another. The same friends who laughed at the thought of my arms getting dislocated over just tying my shoelace . Is this karma? I guess now they'll know how hard it is to live as an injured person. Hmm lets recap how many injuries i have now in total.

1) Right eye Retinal displacement. (Eyesight still sucks after surgery)

2) Left & Right shoulder dislocated numerous times over the years.

3) Shin splints every time i run long distances.

4) Hairline fracture at lower backbone (Lower body paralysed for 2 weeks)

5) Fractured right fist

6) Broken finger

7) Broken ribs (13 times in total)

8) Broken right jaw

And people still ask me why i retired being a fighter. LoL. I guess people won't truly believe it till they actually see me walking in crutches, have a cast on or see me on a hospital bed. Fat chance of them seeing that. I won't ever let them see me in that state, mainly cos i dun like being pitied. i dun like it when people look down or feel sad looking at me. I hate that feeling...

I rather let them picture me as the ever smiling jovial & happy guy =)

Back to the past

2011-07-23T13:45:00.001-07:00

It's nearly 5am & i still can't sleep. Ain't nobody to blame but myself. I looked at my friend's list on my blog & wondered how many of them are still blogging now. I clicked on them 1 by 1 & read them all. So many of them are no longer running & have been deleted but then i clicked on Ani's blog & started to read. Is this for real... is she really leaving school to support her family. That's what my dad did when he was younger. I heard my dad's story enough to know how hard it was for him at that point of time & here's someone else going through the same thing because of her sense of duty & responsibility to her family.

I always knew this was gonna happen. It's not that i was hoping for it, NO. It's just that i was always worried for her... the thought of her quitting school to help her family has always been the outcome i pictured back when we were together & i told myself, whatever happens in the future, i'll support her 200%. I fell in love with her back then not because of her looks but because of her huge heart. Her sense of responsibility was bigger than other of my friends. Back then, family to me was just another word. I have never needed my parents, i never ask them for anything except to just leave me alone.

Back then, i used to fight with my dad whenever we started talking. Our fists will be flying & my mom will be screaming for us to stop. I worked & studied to support myself since the age of 13. Family was just something i go back to when my day ends everyday. I would just take a bath then go to sleep at the end of everyday. I rarely talk to any of my family members. I studied cos i wanted to not cos my parents wanted me to. Heck, they dun even know where i was 95% of the time.

So i learned a lot from Ani's when we were together. She thought me the true meaning of family values & responsibility. Unlike me, she's very caring towards her 5 siblings & parents. She always have that worried look when her sibling isn't doing well in school and i have always notice the look she gave me whenever i treated her or her family or when i play PSP or any games in front of her siblings. I always get scolded not to do that in front of them but for me, i always think that our future is what we make of it. If we are failing in our lives, there's no one to blame but ourselves so i just didn't listen to her.

But one things for sure, I wanted to help her anyway i can but she didn't like it one bit. In fact, she don't want me to get involved with any of her family problems & the more i tried to help, the farther i got pushed away till the day comes where she finally throws in the towel & lets me go for reasons i'm not sure of.

I was devastated but one things for certain, i still love her & i never wanted anything bad to happen to her. Whatever i said after we broke up was all to help me move on & get stronger. I never intended for her to get hurt. I even help her sister Ayu with her money problems.

I told Ayu the other day that she don't have to pay me back what she owed me & its ok. I never really cared if she paid me back in the 1st place anyway. If i can help then i will but there are some occasion where i was really short of cash due to my medical bills & checkups. I'm not working & my parents don't even know i had 3k+ hospital bills due to my operations & treatments.

When the new finally got out, it'll only be confined to my closest friends. They kept asking me where the heck did i manage to settle it on my own. LoL. It's a secret guys, but still i thank allah for allowing me to recover & blessing me with good luck. I'm eternally greatfull for everything that has happened thus far.

Anyways i'll be praying constantly for Ani to have a happy & stable future ahead of her.

Wish ya all the best princess =)

(Our happy & sad days together will never be forgotten)

(Maafkanlah segala kesalahan ku terhadap mu)

Please god tell me what to do

2011-07-19T05:56:00.001-07:00

Something has been happening to me lately, i'm beginning to be happy again, beginning to have a glimmer of hope. At first we just went out as a group & it was fun. But then its just the two of us & then i began wondering, is it just me or are things getting awkward.

Then i find my friends telling me that maybe she has feelings for me. Oh man, its awkward. I wish she can just tell me how she feel about me cos i dun wanna ruin a perfectly good friendship with my awkward messages & screw ups. I hate the feeling of being in the middle, cos the mind set is really important. It's weird when your going out with somebody & you dunno what that is.

I really dun like this feeling that i'm doing something wrong with every message i sent. Thinking is this appropriate or isn't it. Just the other day a friend of mine suddenly messaged me asking if she could borrow my laptop for the day cos she needs it for a project cos i left it with her the whole day.

I came back around 6pm & met up with her near her place to get my laptop back. I saw her sitting at the bench under her flat & went to greet her. What happened after that made me so confused till today. She asked me why i had so many picture of my ex's & why did i still have them in my laptop.

My first question was, how did she know where my pics were? It's not exactly on my desktop. She must have done some snooping around & found it. My second question was why was it such a big problem to her that i still kept those pictures. So i told her that those pictures are my precious memories & i won't ever delete them. She then gave me an annoyed look, handed over my laptop & stomped off to take the elevator up without even saying goodbye or a simple thanks.

I was like, WTF did i do?! It's not as if she & i were officially dating rite? We have gone out on a few outings with friends. Not once have i gone out with just her alone so i was confused. The she called me ystdy asking why i'm giving her the cold shoulder. Seriously?! Me? Giving her the cold shoulder? I was just behaving as per normal, i dun remember giving anyone any cold shoulders. I though she was the one who's angry with me.

She then apologized & said that she actually wanted to make me a picture montage of us & put it on my desktop as wallpaper but then she couldn't find any picture of her on my laptop & started to take a look around for it but she came across my ex's pics instead & got pissed off.

So she got jealous... wth... So she likes me abit... Why am i always the one not noticing this kinda stuff. Then what should i do now... is this a confession? I'm so confused.

When things get awkward i'll get so nervous over every little things. So not like me at all... i hope i dun screw up anything.

Then there's this other situation i have with one of my Chinese friends from work. We got really close & she was really sweet to come all the way to Bukit Batok to accompany me to my friend's wedding. We out out the day before that too to watch Transformers 3 but what is this? I though she & her boyfriend patched things up. Is this normal? Or is this something more. I'm so used to going out with my bestfriends Pika & Hudz. So i just treat going out with girls as nothing more than friendly outings but somehow this feels different.

I wanna spend as much time with her possible even if my feet's killing me. LoL. Cos i had fun & i'm happy when i'm with her. Just liking her company, jokes & her fun personality. But then as usual, things get awkward when i'm thinking too much replying her messages.

Apparently it's normal to check our handphones every minute to see if u missed a message or a call cos lots of my friends have that problem. Now i have that problem too. LoL. Hope i get to hang out with her again soon.

That is if i dun screw things up first...

School ending in less than 5 weeks

2011-07-18T01:16:00.001-07:00

When i first started my Poly life, i thought that everything was gonna be similar to how it was back it ITE Dover. But i couldn't be more wrong about it. I was pushed to the limits so many times & i felt like giving up every single time. But i managed to keep it together somehow & here i am in my last year in Ngee Ann Poly.

My results are not exactly good but i just want to pass & graduate. I've had it with school & have been thinking about working when everything ends. I sure can't wait for that to happen but i'm sure more trials & tribulations will be waiting for me down that path too.

Hope & pray everything goes smoothly. I sure as heck dun wanna get retained.

Why can't things just be simpler

2011-07-15T08:05:00.001-07:00

I've always have questions to ask & those questions will always be left unanswered. But out of all the questions i asked, 1 has always been eating away at me deep inside. The question that has always bugged me so much is, why is it that every time i open up to a girl i like, it always tend to end up bad. It ends up bad not because i did anything wrong but due to reasons like this:

1) My parents doesn't approve of her.

2) The girl ends up being paranoid due to the fact that my best friends include 4 girls.

3) The girl not accepting the fact that i still keep all the pics taken with all my exs.

4) The girl not accepting the fact that the person i love the most is someone who's no longer in this world.

5) The girl having commitment issues.

6) The girl is too scared to realize that my love for her is real & not just words.

7) The girl is too concerned about her family background to realize that i dun mind it at all.

8) The girl is too concerned about the fact that my Mom is overprotective to see that i want to be with her no matter what.

9) The girl cares too much about herself to see that i'm loosing interest in her.

10) The girl saying that i'm too perfect & saying i deserve someone better than her when all i ever wanted was her.

11) The girl forgot that what matters in a relationship is trust & started doubting everything i say to her just because her friend made her think that i was cheating on her.

Why can't i be given a soul mate like all those lucky bastards out there. Sometimes i wish i was like those people who can easily forget their past & move on in a blink of an eye. But i can't... cos the moment i fall for someone, the moment i give my heart to someone, it stays that way till the day death takes me. every single girl i fall in love with have their memories imprinted in my heard & mind.

But at least i remember all the lessons i learned from every experience i had in the past. Hope & pray i'm not dun enough to repeat the same mistakes in the future.

Internship

2010-10-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

5 weeks have passed since i first started my Internship at Pratt & Whitney Canada. I never thought i would be this happy working but i am. It's not because of the work i do nor the workload that makes me so happy but it's the people you work with. It's all thanks to the other interns from NP & NTU that i made friends with. Thanks to them, i'm supplied with endless laughter & happiness so from the bottom of my heart, i am truly greatfull.

Thanks Wei jun, Ariff, Sam, Ben, Zach, Joe, Ming Sian, Yana & most importantly Zi Yee for making me laugh & making me happy every single day, i'm at work. I couldn't ask for a better bunch of friends to work with other than you guyz. Srry i'm always so quiet at work... Srry i always look so sad... Srry i'm always caught up with lots of work. I'm not really stressed but working hard really makes me forget everything about my life & for that, i'm truly greatfull.

Thanks for the inviting me & Pika to dinner, I really enjoyed myself. You guyz are the best bunch of interns ever =)

What's your purpose... have you found it?

2010-10-05T06:41:00.000-07:00

Back then, I have never really thought about it... neither did i even care. I kinda just accepted it because to me, i was young & we are supposed to just study & go to school every single day, for our own good. Nothing more to it than that. But then i fell in love for the first time & then everything changed.

We lived for each other, We had plans, We envisioned a bright future together.

When we have someone close to us, we tend to take them for granted & so we neglect them. I never asked her what was her purpose in life, what kept her going. Never even asked her why she tried so hard to get 'A' for every single subject she took for the exams. I just accepted the fact that she was a genius. All that matters to me was that we were happy, we were one & that was normal for me back then. When i was lost, struggling or in pain, she will always be the only one who know how to cheer me up & how to ease the pain. She makes everything seems like it doesn't matter because whatever it was we went through, we went through it together.

Together we were strong, Together we were happy, Together we can face any challenges.

Then the day came when fate & god took her away from me & with it, my heart, my happiness, my very soul was stripped away from me. Feels like having your wing ripped off while u were flying high up in the sky. I fell so hard that i had trouble breathing.

I crawled till i learned how to walk, I walked till i was able to run again.

And so i ran away from it all. I burned every single thing that reminds me of her & i locked our memories deep inside. But when u feel so strongly about someone, you memories comes back to haunt you in the form of dreams. Occasionally sadness & Misery engulfs me. I put on a smile & no one could tell that i was suffering. So i began asking myself,

What am i living for, What is my purpose in life.

Slowly but surely, the memories i locked away began to come back to me. Began to remember the words she said to me, the advice that i shunned away. Till the day i stood by her gravestone & made a vow,

Ur dream will be mine, Ur very memory will keep me going, I'll live for you dream, My love for you will never fade away. Watch Over Me.

With those feelings & promises driving me forward, i managed to catch up to her academicly & i'm still striving forward to fulfill my promises to her.

My life is yours & Yours is mine, We were one, you & me, Forever it shall be. I will love you till my heart seize to beat. Watch Over Me.

Night cycling with Cholo Boys =P

2010-09-19T07:39:00.000-07:00

We have been planning it ever since last year but it was always cancelled due to bz schedule & lack of money but now finally we were able to put everything in motion. I rendezvous with the guyz at ECP ard 7pm to book the bikes b4 having our dinner. We then started our night cycling adventure ard 10pm. We followed the park connector from ECP to Changi while taking a few pics along the way while we have our pit stops. They sure smoke alot... so it kinda erm... i kinda feel out at place whenever they smoke. I wanted to stick to the park connector but they said dat we should explore our own route & thats when they started to talk about riding to Orchard road. I voiced out saying that it's too far although we have plenty of time for that trip. We discussed about it after stopping at Changi Village for supper made our way towards our initial destination which was Orchard road despite my vote against it.

The journey took quite some time as we stop from one 7/11 after another trying to get our hand on a map. So we end up riding from Changi to Pasir Ris (Down Town East) then we had to make a crucial pit stop near Hidayat's place due to the fact that the chains on Amirul's bike got stuck between it's gears... We took about an hour to actually get it fixed. Well thx to Afiq's magic touch. LoL. To tell ya the truth, i think the chain pitied us & decided to come loose. Heee. Where was i during all this commotion? I was holding the light with my right hand & scratching a cute cat with the other hand. Hehehehe. I got a thing for cats =P

We continued with our journey & decided to make a pit stop at Mustaffar Centre to buy a pair of ehm2. The journey was kinda dangerous with the traffic @ mustaffar centre (Perilous)... although it was ard 3am when we finally got there. That was the 1st time i actually went there on my own, let alone on a bicycle... who would ever though i would ever do something like this. But the good thing was that... there were no black parades if ya no what i mean. The place was empty with acception of the staffs there. While we were looking for our stuff, my eyes got fixed on a pair of Sunglasses & decided to buy it. LoL. Afiq & i were the only ones who actually went shopping at that time while the other waited outside by the road for us. The adventure continued from there as we made our way towards Esplanade & by that time, we were too tired to go any further & it was already 5am+, so we decided to make our journey back to ECP.

The jouney back was really dangerous to me because the roads started to get bz as people are rushing to work & students made their way to school. We have to swiftly switch from road to pathway & even had to dismount at crowded areas. The people looked at us with dat look... cos we what are the chances for them to see 5 guyz on bicycles at Esplanade looking tired as hell & rushing. I bet night cycling was the last thing on their mind. We nearly wanted to juz take a taxi back to ECP... erm actually we were juz having dat "WHAT IF" conversations. Ya noe.. What if we juz called our friends & he pick us up in his lorry & send us bck to ECP. What if we juz leave the bikes as Esplanade & go home. We were that tired at that time. Hahahaha. But we managed to reach ECP at ard 7pm & rested beside the seaside. Afiq, Ahmad & I relaxed ourselves by taking a dip in the cold beach. Apparently i was the only 1 who can sleep while staying afloat in the water. Erm... i dun even remember when i learned how to do that. I think i could do dat ever since Primary sch. Hmm. Sadly i'm bad at teaching ppl how to swim.

This was the best Night Cycling trip so far & also the longest route taken but it was worth it. I hope we'll do this again in the future =)

Before & After Hari Raya 2010

2010-09-14T07:44:00.000-07:00

It's been ages since i last posted anything. Life's been like a rollercoster this few months. I've been going to & from the hospital cos my injuries took a turn for the worst. I lost my eyesight in my right eye just before the exam started & so i told my parents that i'll be staying over @ Afiq's place for a few days to study. That was of cos a big fat lie cos the truth was dat i was admitted to AH for surgery & had to stay there for 2 days. I felt the urge to call or msg my besties but... in the end i didn't even touch my Hp. I guess i juz didn't want them to see me in dat state but one person was constantly appearing in my head. Who else but Sabby... only god noes how much i miss her... but all i could do was juz read bck my past msgs & see some pics of her from my Hp to ease dat need. I was always bz with sch... which is such a pain in the ass juz to survive while she, on the other hand was always bz with work. After a date, i'll msg her to ask for the nxt 1 but sadly our bz schedule always gets in the way till i gave up trying till the nxt few months or so =( . I don't know if dats the real case or she juz want some alone time with her family & friends but i always pray dat she's doing fine & happy.

The nurse kept asking me if i have a family & why no1 visited me. She said i looked sad & lonely... so she usually juz sat beside my table & chat with me for a while before she had to continue with her job. Maybe she tot she was helping but it really doesn't help me at all. It's like putting salt on my wounds everytime she asks me those questions. I was discharged from AH on the 3rd day. They removed the eye patch & thank god for dat cos damn... i looked ridiculous with dat on... looked like a retarded pirate with dat eye patch & blue hospital robe. -_-" I went straight to taman Jurong for KFC cos i was craving for it the whole time i was in AH. Hospital food sucks!! I slept the moment i got home & played my PS3 to releave stress as usual. Then a few days later AK, Hudz & Pika msged me on the same day saying that they miss me & asked me where i've been & why i was so quiet all of a sudden. I told all of them abt it & they all seemed sad that i was in dat state. Hudz was even mad dat i didn't tell her... basicly cos i always suffer alone & she hates dat fact... cos i have friends who cares for me. Sigh... I really don't know how to reply to dat. I juz dun want them to see me so sad. Cos i'm always smiling when i'm with them.

Then the day after, i got a msg thru MSN from Sabby. She asked if i have a webcam & she requested a Vid call thru MSN. OMG!! I was happy but paniced as i rushed to clean my room & make myself look presentable but sadly i dun look anywhere near presentable... i was a mess after spending time in AH. But damn i was happy to see her again... i juz looked at her & couldn't stop smiling like a retard... she must have tot dat i'm a wierdo but it think she was bz trying to find her lost work data. Yup her antique work desktop suddenly lost all of her work & she had to do it all over again. Sigh juz when i tot we can talk... but at least i get to see her again. I dun think i will say much anyway since i was so awe stuck by her at dat time. So typical of me. Anyways we chat from 1+pm till 5+pm i think before she had to log out & head bck home. I wonder when we'll get to talk again... it's like having a long distance relationship... dats if u can call this a relationship at all but i treasure every minute of it. Always.

Soon it was time to start studying for the exams. I tried my best for the 1st 2 papers but it seemed like my best wasn't good enough... those papers were though... SOM (Strength Of Material) & AM (Applied Machenics) were ntg but pure math in materials & objects in motion... Damn... I wish i can pass. So i told myself, since i'm probably gonna do badly for those i might as well gove my final paper 200% of my strength & effort so i stayed over at Afiq's place & studied from 8pm all the way till 6am brfore getting a 1hr rest. Then we went to sch & continue to study all the way till the paper starts @ 2:30pm. I nvr did this before but i was desperate to pass this last paper no matter what it takes. But only god noes how happy i was the moment they let us read the exam papers. I was smiling non stop cos every single thing i studied actually came out & i practically finished the 2hr paper in like less than 10mins. Well all the questions except the calculations part... cos i didn't study dat part... but at least i can guarantee 70% of the marks. I was so releaved & happy dat day. I went home smiling & msged everybody dat encougared me, saying thx for their support but sadly i couldn't sleep dat day... due to the fact that Hari Raya was the day after... Then i realised the date...

10/09/2010 WTH!! It's gonna be Sha's B'day... I can't balieve i didn't notice dat sooner... She passed away during Raya... which was the one & only reason why i dun celebrate it with all my heart so this is ironic to me. Is she telling me to to celebrate it & stop feeling so bad about it? This was the 1st time that Hari Raya fall on the same day as her B'day. So i called her parents & asked them about it. Turns out they're not gonna celebrate the 1st day of Raya to commemorate her but they're gonna have a kenduri instead & sadly i couldn't go since i have to Raya with my family on the 1st day as usual. I kinda got emo the night b4 raya... sigh... can't help it. I even shut out my Bestest best friend Boo2 juz so that i would not think about the situation. I juz wanna try to enjoy raya without feeling sad.

I managed to get a few hours of rest & was able to wake up juz in time for Raya prayers. The imam cried after the prayers due to the fact that so many of our neighbours passed away juz before Raya & they were quite close to him but come to think of it, he always cries during Raya prayers. This proves that there a people out there who's more Emo than me during raya =P . Seriously he got lots of guts to cry in front of so many people. WoW. Simply Wow. I feel for him... i really do. But the fact that the speaker is malfunctioning really doesn't help... cos all i could hear was... GAP... "silence"... NGAP... "silence" TUP... "silence" cos the sound keeps turning on & off in short intervals & sucessions. I can't help but to laugh =P (Really sorry of this is offensive) the only reason why i know what he was talking about was cos my dad was sitting right in front of him.

Well.. Hari Raya turned out ok so far for this year... my cuzzies managed to make me smile & forget again even if its juz for a little while but i had fun non the less. I havn't count my $ yet... Well ya i still get $ okay... not dat i'm complaining... but it is kinda embaressing so i quickly put it in my bad the moment any1 gave me any duit zakat. Heee. I got kind relatives okay!! I'm really greatfull dat i have a good family background although i dun talk to them much. My uncle rented a van this year & we all visited 5 houses for the 1st day. We as in My family, Ifwat's family & Molly's family. We 3 (relatives) head family have always been close & will be close for years to come =) Well if u come from a huge family like mine, it's easy to stay in close relationships with one another but we're all close non the less. My Mother's side has 11 sibling including her & My Dad's side has 10 including himself... so it's kinda hard to get to noe all of them. Besides i'm the quiet type so it's especially harder for me =/

Well i'm gonna have a briefing about my attachment tmrw @9am in school & i should probably rest early for it but i dun really feel like sleeping for now but i'm gonna end my post here.

Till next time...

Lets Pretend

2010-04-27T06:08:00.000-07:00

I tot dat we're already past all this... tot that we won't ever bump into each other since u've already moved to ur new place all the way at the other end of the island... guess i tot wrong... cos there u were sitting beside me when i woke up in the bus otw home... seriously... WTH... how can dat even happen? Out of all the friends, exs, family, relatives i noe... ur the only person dat i bump into coincedetially over and over again. Not only dat... ur the only person i endlessly argue with over & over again... like seriously? we havn't met for a really long time & the 1st thing u ask me was if i was bck from a date & who she was... like WTH! FYI! I was accompanying my my classmates look for a cap... we went almost everywhere around town looking for his stuff but to no avail & i was drained... i dun even hard the energy to care that u were sitting nxt to me but u had to start talking...

I've said it once twice, three times & now i'll say it again... U are one freaky girl. Okay so we end up talking about our probs & why i gave up on you... but we both noe dat ur not gonna let it end there when we went home... but i guess hoping dat our conversation can end early was juz wishfull thinking... Seriously stop asking me the same question over & over again... Seriously lets pretend we give it another try... lets pretend i gave it my all... even if i did dat... will ur parents accept me? will u stop flirting with ur guy friends? could u erase all the stuff u did in the past? even if dat were to happen, ask urself, are u even capable of change? Ur a flirt... always have been & always will be. I seriously have no feeling toward us already... friendship is impossible... relationship for us is a big joke... maybe this really is a serious joke being played on me by GOD... Why do u put this guilty concience in me... cos every time i see you, i feel a great feeling of pity for you... ur puppy dog eyes & soft spoken questions u asked me juz ridiculously sounds sincere when u asked it...

After a full day out with Ahmad i was too tired to retaliate... too tired to even care dat ur actually asking me all those ridiculously straight forward question dat u already noe the answers to. I was actually releaved the moment we alighted the bus but we end up sitting under the block talking & aswering ur questions... at some point... i even fell asleep... u saw it but u kept talking... wats wrong with u? Anyways...my wall were up for a reason & it's slowly gg up again after dat certain some1 brot it down a few weeks ago... FYI! I dun call for a reason... my home phone has low volume for some reason & i dun like talking on the phone with some1 i wanna go serious with cos i dun wanna end up boring her & another reason why i dun call was cos i dun wanna run out of stuff to talk abt the nxt time i go out on a date with dat certain some1... Theres a reason to why i do or do not, do stuff...

And as far as being sweet is concerned... it's hard to crack my brain to make poems after i had shut out my feeling for so long... and considering the past... being sweet is really hard for me rite now... ideas juz come and go... i can be dreaming about a really2 sweet event & dates, giving some idea on what to write about but the moment i woke up... poof it's gone... it's hard to open ur heart 200% cos the scars of the past will always restrain you. Besides... one date can hardly be called serious at this point of time rite? Writing serious poems will only scare the person away wat... think about it lah... seriously... but i guess u dunno anything about restraint do ya... once a flirt, always a flirt wat...

Stop talking about this girl & dat girl i dated... cos i treat every person differently... i nvr do the same thing to 2 dif people... cos wats the point? Relationships are supposed to be special... so i try to make thigns special... so it's hard cos i went all out when i was dating Ani... we went dating like almost everywhere on the West side... so when i asked dat certain some1 abt where she wanna go to or where she wanna eat, i wasn't surprised when she gave me the same ans i gave when my friends asked me where i wanna take her. LoL I dun mind waiting cos heck i waited for so long oredy & the fact dat she said this " wat makes you think my phoebia is gone" really slows down the pace. Cos i have the same phoebia... i'm trying really2 hard to fight it & she did ask me not to force myself but i dun wanna loose some1 important to me juz cos i was slow to make a move...

Ok bck to main topic... bottom line is dat we talked till i totally rested my head on the stone table & sleep b4 she said "ur tired huh?" i was like DUUUUUH!! I'm exhausted... for god sakes, i was falling asleep the whole time u were talking to me... airhead. So i finally got home & pretend it all didn't happen at all & played L4D2 with Sankalp b4 sleeping. I noe i was tired but after bathing with cold water, i kinda felt refreshed & juz wanted to play the new map for L4D2 & it really worked cos i totally fgt the boring chat we had earlier on. My bed nvr felt so good before in my life SERIOUSLY! LoL. I didn't even bother to take my blankets & juz blacked out almost immidiately after lying down.

Trekking Expeditions During The Holidays

2010-04-19T02:34:00.000-07:00

I went for 2 trekking event organized by A.W.A club during the holidays & both of it were fun. The 1st event took place at Bukit Timah Nature Reserve & we wore outside clothes for it due to the fat dat the club's Polo-T kinda looked run down & old... Pika took vids while hiking but mostly it has Eddy & her juz goofing off. We went to Alazzar for our lunch after that. Here's some pics from the event... srry i didn't put more in... it juz takes too much time...

As for the 2nd Trekking event, all of us wore the new club T-Shirt dat we juz bought a few days ago. With Firman as our guide, we ventured into pulau ubins highest peak & damn it was tiring... but the most tiring part was trying to get away from the swarm of Mossies dat were constantly trying to schow down on our yummy blood. We also came across a few wild bores while we were trekking but i'm not really sure if it's actually the same animal we saw 4 times. It all looks the same. LoL.

Past... Present... Future...

2010-04-01T11:18:00.000-07:00

It's been so long since i last wrote any posts... my life was total chaos... so many things happening all at once... My mind was everywhere all at once... then people who read my prev posts assume to understand me & wat i'm gg thru but the fact to the matter is dat i barely touched the surface of the problems faced. Hmm who was there for me thru it... let me recall... Hudz, AK maybe... at this point it's all kinda blurry... it seems like so long ago... wait, it really was a long time ago. The breakup was the most hardest to get past but i finally did... Thank god i finally did... i let my mind get tormented by her long enough but i find myself not trusting people when they say that they care for me or when they said that they love me... i hated those words... make me feel like i'm beign used & i'll be damn if i let anyone do that to me again... So much anger & hatred inside of me.

I remember how desperately i tried to forget back then...i went to Haikle's place throwing tantrums & picking fights with my friends. Endless sparring with them all, juz to vent my anger & frustrations... damn i was a mess... then months after that, all the beating i got finally took it's toll. I suddenly woke up one day & i can't move my legs... i was so frightened... no matter how hard i tried, my legs juz won't budge. I finally asked my mom to give me a massage 2 days later but things didn't get any better. I went to see the doc with Haikle's help & i can still remember how nervous i was while waiting for the results. But thank God, he said that i juz needed some rest... he said i was pushing myself too hard. I was releaved but the probs didn't stop there. I went to school one day as per normal & find myself having problems seeing with my right eye... my vision was blurry & i freaked out once again.

I went to the doc yet again to find out wat was wrong & thankfully it wasn't serious. A few weeks past after dat & another problems rose which bands me from training... i can't run anymore... the pain has gotten worst than before & i was forced to see the doc once again but it burned a huge hole in my pocket so i decided to stop going for treatments. I'm not rich & i'm not even working so i had to give dat up. To top it all of, it was the exam period, endless class tests & assignments... the fact that i didn't go to school a whole week due to my injury placed more stress to the situation in school. I studied endlessly to pass all my tests for MF cos if i were to fail it again, i'll be kicked out of school... i remembered panicking & Afiq told me that i can do it... so i stayed over @ his place one day to study for the exams & his cats actually helped to calm me down.

My friends & i went to study @ Bras Basah Mac & in school Our Space @ blk 73 but when it comes to revising for MF... i find myself alone & no1 to study with... basicly cos i was the only 1 who failed in my class... so i stayed up at night to study & punished myself for falling asleep by studying even more... not to get an 'A' or 'AD' but to juz make it so i can juz pass dat freakin module.

1 by 1 the exams were taken... Math was kinda doable... TF was tricky but MF... when i was doing the paper, i panicked cos i took up too much time for Section A & B that i couldn't finish section C which carries 50marks. At the end of that paper... i was so dissapointed in myself... i was sure that i was gonna fail... i tell myself... that this will be it... i'm gonna fail... my life in NP is over... but when the results finally came, i went Oooh Aaam Geee!! I passed every single module!! By GOD i did it!! I was shocked but damn was i happy!! Then i went out with my classmates to celebrate. I've nvr felt so greatfull b4 in my life... i felt as if i was spared, given another chance & i felt great... i was happy again =)

But something's still missing... a certain emptiness in me... i started to look at some old pics i stored in my laptop... then something juz hit me... wat am i doing... i need to do something about this... i need to trust again... these walls i put up must be brought down somehow... so i decided to ask her out... i was scared before... scared to let anyone in but i had feelings for her... feelings i stored up deep inside since then... scared to let it out cos i knew she wasn't ready in the past... but she changed so much these past few years... so i asked her out.

We had dinner @ Marina Square's Swensons & had alot of catching up... she changed so much but at the same time... she still the same... she still the same person i fell in love with so long ago. After dinner, we went to play 3 games of pool before we went to Esplanade to buy some brownies but her foot started to ache... omg she was in pain & i felt so helpless... all i could do was to try and calm her down by talking to her as the pain subsides. She said dat the pain was excrusiating & she said dat it was amazing dat she's not crying. She was much too worried about wat passerby's were thinking about when they see us sitting there at the steps. LoL.

I was releaved when she said that she can walk again... but i was still worried so we walked slowly to Esplanade. We sat down & chat for a while & ate the browines she bot there before taking the bus to her place. We listened to her MP3 otw there & it was relaxing as she kept asking me if i liked the songs. We then walked to her block & said our goodbyes... I finally got to send her home again. Once again... i kept smiling with happiness... funny how she's the only person who can make me me smile this much till now. I kept asking myself this question so many times before & i guess the answer's obvious huh =)

Injuries Worsening...

2009-11-10T09:12:00.000-08:00

Friday 6th November 2009

Had 2 tests today... Got 65 for my AL (Airworthiness Legislation) & i think i did well for my Math test too... but... u all noe how overconfident i can get... dats not a good thing... i noe. Anyways... i got bck home from skool & chat with Hudz till ard 8+pm but then... suddenly i can't get up from my chair... my legs won't move... i panicked... i managed to drag myself to my bed & then i felt a sharp pain in my right lower back... it took some time b4 my legs could move again... I told Hudz abt it & went to rest awhile.

Damn! Wats wrong with me?! But then i remembered about my old bck injury... was this it's aftermath... i got scared... thinking abt the worst possible scenarios when my mom suddenly went into my room asking me to off my laptop. I told her dat i still need to use it but she kept asking me to turn it off. I got frustrated & shouted @ her... who asked her to be so irritating @ such a wrong time... I'm juz not mentally ready & not stable at dat time... so angry & frustrated dat i can't move my legs freely.

I hit my back a few times before doing some minor exercise hoping dat it'll help but it barely did anything. Half an hour later, i tried to walk again & made my way to the kitchen limping & draging my feet... I drank lots & lots of water thinking about my kidneys... SERIOUSLY... i havn't tot about this for a really3 long time... my worst nightmare might actually come to pass ... i dun wanna be a vegetable. These tots keep running in my mind as i went back to my room to turn off my laptop & rest.

I couldn't sleep cos it hurts as i turn to the side... WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!! I kept asking myself... i then decided to juz listen to some songs & fell asleep.

Saturday 7th November 2009

I woke up in the morning & prayed, hoping dat i'll be back to normal again but i still couldn't walk freely... my back still hurt... DAMN IT!!! i went out of my room & saw my mom crying outside & my bro consoling her. Why are u crying, i asked my mom. Then my bro asked me why i shouted @ her ystdy. WTF!! SO FRUSTRATING!! WATEVER LAH!! I draged my feet as i went to take a bath. DAMN IT!! It took me nearly an hr to bathe!! Why is this happening to me... i asked myself as i continued the day @ home... I told AK & updated Hudz on my situation. Wondered if i should tell Shida... cos she'll panic as usual... i really dun need this right now... i need to go take pics this coming Tuesday for Bussiness Ettiquet Assignment. I juz have a gut feeling dat this injury is gonna take a really2 long time to recover or even just to stop the pain.

Both Hudz & AK asked me to see the doc but... if i were to do dat, i would surely be hospitalised & i juz dun have the money right now. So i juz told them dat i will go see the Doc on Monday if it gets worst.I was lieing of cos, basicly juz to stop them from worrying about me... but theres no way i'll actually see the doctor cos it'll cost me a BOMB! So i rather not have it checked.

I told my parents abt it & they helped me by massaging my lower back. OMG!! ITAI!! I was basicly screaming in pain... WTH!! Wats wrong with my back?! Why was the pain only @ my right side?! I kept asking myself but thankfully i felt better after the painfull massage & it became a routine for me after that.

Sunday 8th November 2009

The plan was to go to my Cuzzy's place but i juz wanted to rest at home... my back still hurts... DUH! But my dad kept asking me to go... SO IRRITATING!! WATEVER LAH!! JUZ GO & LEAVE ME ALONE!! I exploded & my family left for my cuzzy's soon after dat. I then received a call from Shida soon after dat... She asked me how i was & wat i was doing... I didn't wanna tell her but... I did... sigh... i guess i was lonely. She asked me if i have eaten & if theres anything i'm craving for at dat moment. LoL. As usual i juz told her dat i want Cadbury Chocolates & Ice Lemon Tea. Hehe. A few mins later, i heard knocks on my door. I went to look who it was... to my surprise, it was Shida & she was talking on the phone with me at the same time. OMG3!! WTH3!! Should i open?! Of cos i should?! Rite?! Should i?! What should i do?! I can't juz leave her there?! Tk baik sak gitu...

I juz went to the toilet as fast as i can, wash my face & did my hair before opening the door. She went in & gave me the stuff i asked for. FOR REAL!! slap forehead... I was joking lah for GOD sakes... OMG! I've nvr been alone at home with a girl ever since Sha... all those years back... so awkward... Shida then saw me limping & shouted at me to sit down. WTH?! aru sampai je dah marah2... so i did what she asked as she poured me some Ice Lemon Tea & asked me to explain wat happened to me & why i can't walk properly... Sigh... How the hell should i know... 1 moment i was fine then the next moment i'm not...

She asked me to lie down cos she wanted to massage my back. WTH?! NOOOO!! I said, cos i dun want her to look @ my back... it's a mess thx to the chiken pox i has a few weeks back. Then kena scold lagi... Fine... do wat ya want... Grrrr... Hmph... She took the oil & massaged my back. SO AWKWARD!! WTH!! SILENCE...

Then i heard her sobbing... erm... i think she was crying... sigh. She said dat she told me to quit fighting... see wats happening to me now. Thanks ah eh... RUB IT IN WHY DUN YA!! As if i dun feel bad enough. Sigh. I then told her the same thing i told AK the prev day. which is... look at the bright side... if i get hospitalised, at least i can see my love ones more frequently as they visit me. She punched my back & made me scream in pain. She then paniced & hugged me while saying sorry repeatedly. She was till crying... Sigh...

Juz for the record, ntg happened. We're close friends... I noe she still has feelings for me but. Sigh... I still dun feel anything. Dats the sad truth... Try as hard as she may, dat fact didn't change. I guess my heart is already with someone... i dun think it'll come back. Correction... it's actually with 2 people... cos my feelings & memories of them both is still burning strongly within me. She has always told me dat it isn't fair but... theres ntg i can do to change dat fact. Dats juz who i am. We then watched movie till around 7+pm b4 she went home. It was fun... But wat a surprise dat was... Thx Shida! Dat was really2 sweet of u... I was really3 touched... Literally. LoL. Kidding2. Seriously i appreciate everything u did. U've always been sincere & so caring to me... U have my outmost Gratitude =)

My family came bck around 12am & i went to sleep a few mins after dat.

2nd Week Of School

2009-11-04T18:04:00.000-08:00

An old pic i have of little miss Sabby

The 2nd week of school was spent with close friends & i have to say dat it was not planned at all.

Monday 26th October 2009

The day was as per normal & laid back which was good cos it is Monday. LoL. I had this craving for Takoyaki & suddenly tot of Sabby, so i msged her asking if she wants any... obviouly i didn't think it through cos it was already 2:45pm & she would probably be in the bus otw to school. I know this but i kinda fgt @ dat moment in time. LoL. But then she said dat we could have lunch tmrw instead if dats ok with me. Cool!! Lunch with Sabby!! I was like OMG2!! WAT WILL I WEAR?! LoL. I panicked as per normal when it comesto Sabby. Hahaha. AK, if ur reading this, u'll probably be laughing. LoL.

Anyways i ate my Takoyaki then went straight home but then i bumped into Shida... erm actually she tap my shoulders, i didn't realise she was nearby. LoL. She asked if i'll be bz later cos she wanted to give me something which she said dat i would probably love. Knowing her for so long, i guess dat would probabaly be true. She asked me to meet her at her block ltr @ ard 8+pm before we both went home. I got home & got another surprise. My mom cooked Ayam masak lemak & OMG ah!! UMAI!! It was so delicious that i fgt all abt the 8pm thingy with Shida until she called me ard 9pm & asked me where i was. LoL. Srry tau =P

So i went down to meet her & she gave me a small plastic container filled with Chocolate Chip Cookies & a bar of Chocolate. Awwww thx Shida!! I really2 like it alot but we both agreed the cookies i made for Raya was better. LoL. Wakakaka. Proud pe aku XD. We shared the cookies & chocolate while chatting abt this year's Hari Raya & other stuff before i we said goodbye.

I spent the rest of the night chatting with AK & Hudz while playing Assasin's Creed on my laptop.

Tuesday 27th October 2009

I went to my Bussiness Etiquette class in the morning & the lecturer told us dat we'll be having our 1st assessment which will be graded by how well we present ourself & act in a roleplay. OMG!!! so sudden!! But it's ok, i'm confident with my group =) and thankfully it all went well at the end of the day. The guyz were asking why i was smiling non stop & if it has anything to do with the fact dat Sarah was standing close to me during the play. WTH!! It got ntg to do wth dat okay!! Besides... it was a crush lah... i'm over it oredy. But i still think she's cute lah. Okay shut up!! I was super cheerfull cos tdy was the day dat Sabby's coming to my school for lunch. WOOTS!! i havn't seen her for so long not including pics from her blog lah of cos...

I waited for her @ the bus stop opp NP then we went to have Takoyaki @ canteen 2 but sadly the stall was all out of it & i had to wait... wth lah! so unlucky! The takoyaki wasn't ready when we ate it, so it was mushy & too soft... sigh... waisted seh... i can tell dat Sabby didn't like it dat much... so dissapointing seh... after telling her dat i was delicious & all... but seriously, it tasted so yummy if it's been cooked properly ah. Sigh.

I took her to get some bubbly tea @ the cafeteria in the Library. I got my favourite Mango Sunrise while Sabby got a chocolate shake. Luckily she really liked hers this time. Hehe. We then made our way to Our Space & i showed her the bord games room since she & the gang love playing UNO. There was a blood donation drive in progress & she kept saying dat she dun wanna donate blood. Hahahaha. Takot pe dia. We didn't donate blood of cos... sapa nak seh. LoL. We juz sat in our space & were chatting when this girl came & asked if we can help her with a survey. we helped of cos but then she started asking abt which course we were in & if Sabby was in the same course as me. LoL. Sabby told her dat she was from MDIS & when the girl went off, Sabby said dat she should not have been so honest & should have told the girl something else. LoL.

Soon it was time to go & i told her dat i hope she tak serik datang to my skool again for lunch. I think she heard it wrongly & said dat she'll come on her own nxt time. LoL. We then waited for the bus to come but bus 61 decided to take it's own sweet time to come & the bus dat finaly came was full & Sabby decided to take the next 1 which came 1hr+ or was it ltr... Poor Sabby was late for school. I really hope we'll be able to hang out again soon! Maybe this time, we can hang out with BLAZE1 peeps can? =)

Wednesday 28th October 2009

The days was pretty much the same as always in school but then Amirul asked me if i was gonna join them for the movie ltr dat evening. I was like huh?! Wat movie?! Then he told me dat there was gonna be a free movie @ LT77 ltr @ 6pm & dat he's gg to watch it with Afiq & he wanted to try & get the whole gang to join them. I was hessitant at 1st but then Amal, Ahmad & Rifiq deto join in on the free movie so, Wat the heck ah, i guess i might as well join in on the fun as well. LoL.

The movie ended at around 9+pm. Then the guyz & i decided to check out block 50 which was rumoured to haunted lv7 but the elevator only stops @ lv6 but occasionally it randomly takes students to lv7 & if u were stupid enough to let the elevator door to shut behind u then u won't be able to get back down till another victim stops @ lv7.

So we wet into the elevator & tried to press the so called lv7 button but it didn't budge so we decided to drop off @ lv6 & climb up to lv7 instead. Otw up, Ahmad & Amal was telling us dat they actually been thru the experience of the elevator lift opening @ lv7 & told us dat it was pitch black & scary.

Soon we got off at lv6 & walked up the stairs till we reached a gate but it wasn't locked for some reason. So i decided to go up while the others we kinda reluctant to follow me. I took a look around lv7 but sadly the door was locked. I took a peek through the glass panel on the door & only saw the roof. ler... roof je... no biggie. I was still looking around when Amirul & Amal asked me to get back down. They then told us about how scared Shawn was when they previously went to lv7 with him. LoL. We all went back after dat.

Thursday 29th October 2009

School was very3 tiring... i was sleeping for 30% & daydreamed 50% of the time in class... then when i finally got home, my mom asked me if i wanted to sent my bro off ltr cos he's gg to Japan for a week. Ler... malas sak... besides i need to sleep. So i didn't follow the 2 vehicle convoy to send my bro off. But i end up chatting with my close friends online instead... cos some of them need a shoulder to cry on & had troubles dat needed a listening ear. I rather help my close friends then to sleep anyways so i dun mind.

I was chatting with them when i noticed dat it was already reaching 2am+ but my family's not bck yet. Hmm. 45mins ltr, i heard them beri salam & i opened the door. Then my dad boast al usualy telling me dat my relatives treated them to Sempang Bedok. Ler. Nak makan free je tu org... kalao ajak gi as a family, he'll say mahal lah apa... watever lah. At least they're kind enough to buy my fav chicken chop. LoL. No complians there, mintak more lagi ada ah. Hahahaha. I'm willing to pay of cos ah. I finally couldn't stay awake & told the gals dat i need to rest @ ard 2+am.

The rest of the week was spent playing games @ home. WOOTS!!

1st Week Of School

2009-10-27T22:12:00.000-07:00

Sunday 18th October 2009

School is reopening temorrow & i was so down cos i'm expecting the new term to be even more stressfull than the previous. So i asked Hudz to wish me good luck cos i'm gonna need it badly & i'm juz gonna expect the worst.

Monday 19th October 2009 (1st Day Of School)

I went to school & had my 1st lesson which was TF2 (Thermofluid 2) but to my surprise, i was in the same class with Ted, Afiq & Eugene. Bayeeeek!! I tot i was the only 1 attending that class but dats not all. Afiq is actually gonna be in every single class i'll be having on Mondays. Hahaha. Nasib ada members =).

Soon my classes ended for the day & i accompanied Afiq to cheers to pass the time cos we were released 30mins early & he still have class after dat. We talked about the day before he had to go. So i waiting for the bus home when bus no 61 made a stop @ the bus stop. To my surprise, i saw Sabby in the bus & as usual, i was STUNNED. LoL i juz looked at her for god knows how long but i juz stoned there as the bus drove of. A few seconds later i got a msg from Sabby saying dat she saw me @ the bus stop. OMG! It really was her. Hehe. We msged each other & she said dat maybe we can meet for dinner or something cos her classes ends late. I havn't seen her for so long ah... i wonder if i'll stone again. LoL.

It was not long before i reached home & logged into FB & saw the comments she sent. LoL. Apparently she stoned too. Hahaha. Seriously?! Seeing her has made my day lah. Hehehe. Maybe it was thx to Hudz wishing me luck. Thx Hudz =P

Tuesday 20th October 2009

I woke up today expecting alot cos i tot dat i'll be having Japanese class but then when i reached block 53 #04-09 i found out dat the class i was gonna taking was actually Bussiness Etiquette... oh well i guess i saw the timetable wrongly. Hehe. My Bad =P

I found out that Malcolm, Ahmad, Aylwin & Eugene will be in my class too. Bayeeek ah! Hehe. But then the lecturer asked us to regroup.. Ler... spoil sport... but at least we're in the same class lah. We were just about to start the class when a girl went into the classroom. I was like HELLO!!! Mata bukak besar2 lol. Hehe. She was so my type sak. Short2, cute, bubbly & with WOOTS! Her name's Sarah =P but sadly she was grouped with Ahmad. Ler... Nvm2 i was already getting use to my group anyway.

The lesson started & i noticed that the lecturer seems overly too cheerfull & happy. Wierdo... then to top it all of, her legs were hairy. Eeeeeee. Ahmad kept promting us to look @ her leg. LOL. We can't help but to laugh as he drew a shaver on a piece of paper & showed it to me but overall, i think the lesson is kinda fun including the fact that i have a cute girl in the class.

The class soon ended & i got home soon after dat.

The rest of the weekdays in skool was kinda normal till weekends.

Saturday 24th October 2009

I got invited tgr with AWA club to Mahen's Deepavali open house tdy so Fir & I took the same bus to Boon Lay Interchange to wait for Oz, Pika & Sharir but they were late so Fir & I went to look for Mahen's gift in advance. We saw a cool black wallet @ Options & decided to buy it ltr after the others got there. I also bot a new keychain for my keys. Hehe. Juz for fun, since i kinda like the design.

The guys finally arrived & Sharir drove us to Mahen's place in his car. Mahen was happy when he found out wat we gave him for his B'day. Mesti lah! Ngok ah sapa choose! Chey2 Hehe. Soon, Mahen's mom cooked for us a feast! It was simple but delicious! We took lots of pics @ his place before gg to Vivo with intentions of watching a movie but the place was packed so we juz decided to go to Marina Barrage to chill before gg home.

I had lots of fun this week & will be looking forward to nxt week for more unexpected stuff. LoL.

The Aftermath

2009-10-14T21:34:00.000-07:00

Before i start, i juz wanna ask u guyz to juz listen to the music playlist ok. The songs ROCKZ!!! I hope u guyz like it as much as i do =)

Hari Raya is nearly over... THANK GOD!! I think i enjoyed this year the most cos i spend almost 80% of it @ home due to the fact that i got chicken pox. Hehehe. I think Allah finally decided to let me have a break. Alhamdulillah. Although i can't go Raya with my juniors & close friends... which was kinda sad but my Sec School classmates kept asking me if i have recovered & they actually waited for me before they drag me out to Raya with them the nxt day... LoL u guyz... Although we only visited 2 houses, we really had fun as we played our games, cracked endless jokes, ate delicious food cooked by their parents. It's not about the number of houses we visited but the amount of fun we had visiting them. But i forgot to bring my camera dat day so sadly theres no pics... basicly cos i woke up late & i had to rush to Haikle's place and end up forgetting my camera at home, cos i took it out of the bag the previous day... lol.

Other than my Sec School friends, Sin (Yasin) was also one of the people who kept asking me if i have recovered cos he wanted me to come over to his place so that i can try out his PS3. So i went over there & spend played Metal Gear Solid 4, with him as my guide from 2+pm till around 8+pm before finally going home but when i got home, my place was empty so i called my bro & asked him where they were. He told me that they were visiting the neighbours for Raya so i decided to join them & made my way there which is juz a few blocks away from my place. I kinda fgt that i was wearing my beanie. LoL. Luckily i got good remarks about it. Hehe. We visited 3 of our neighbour dat day & i had fun cos my neighbours are basicly my Kindergarten friends & people we were familiar with because we went Terawir together not like i'm a regular =P

Other than going to people's house for Raya, i also spent time getting to know my youngest bro cos he slept in my room after getting chicken pox... OKAY2 juz to clear this up... i got it from him OKAY!! Not the other way round... we stayed up till 5+am chatting about wat we went thru in our lives... but he had school the next day... LoL. Not my fault wat... he's the one who kept talking non stop. Hehe. Sigh school... mine's gonna reopen in a few days time... juz thinking about it is enough to make me stress... i hate my Poly life... but it's my final year there & i hope i can get thru it smoothly...

Anyways my bros & i have decided to share our money to buy a HD TV & PS3. WOOTS!! I can't wait to get my bursary!!

I think that all for now guyz...

Memories Of Raya 09

2009-10-02T08:28:00.000-07:00

This year's Raya has been full of ups & dwn for me... Now both my bros & i are suffering from Chicken Pox... Oh well, it's about time i got it. The good thing is dat i finally got my wish to stay home. Thank GOD!! But now i can't celebrate my Cuz's B'day tmrw or go out Raya with my close friends & juniors. Oh well guess we'll postpone it till i recover... if it can be postpone dat is. Ok then heres some pics taken for this yr.

Pics Taken Before Hari Raya

2009-09-23T07:16:00.000-07:00

I really2 wanted to eat Popeyes cos i nvr tried it b4 so i blanja my 2 besties (Pika & Boo2)

Look like we're racing rite?! COOL isn't it?!

Pikaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

BooBoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Muka org mkn kat Popeyes for the 1st time. LoL =P

We hung out around the area b4 sending Pika home then Boo2 & I went to Lim Chu Kang cemetery to explore while listening to MJ12 till 1+am. I had a BLAST!! Hehe

Sorrow Of Festivities

2009-09-19T06:29:00.000-07:00

It's dat time of year once again, where people ask for forgiveness & give zakat to the young...
A month of celebration after a month of fasting...
People smiling, laughing & happiness all around...
But how has it been since the last time i was dat way...
9? 10 years ago? All i have now is sorrow...
For this is the time of the year dat i lost someone i love most dearly...
Someone i love & care more than anyone in this world...
Whats there to celebrate?! Why are you all so happy about?!
All i remember is death... the scene of my love lying on the operation theater passed on...

I went down on my knees crying all those years bck in the hospital...
So tell me how can i fgt this tragic day when everyone keep celebrating about it!! Tell me!!
All i can do is hide my sorrow behind my fake smiles & laughter...
When it feels like too much to bear i'll juz plug in my earpiece & listen to loud music...
trying to keep myself tgr... trying not to cry...
As visions of the past keeps playing in my mind...
But for once... i dun feel alone... for many of my friends are feeling this way...
I dun feel like i'm going crazy...
Sorrow & guilt can do that to a person...
Thankfully i have my best friends to ease the pain...

How i wish i can juz stay at home & just play games during Raya...
But it's tradition & i have to celebrate it with my family...
No use making such a big fuss about it cos they dun understand anyway...
So juz go along with the flow & try to have a good time...
Dats what i tell myself every year...
Everytime we go out to celebrate...
Instead of celebrating her death...
Why not think of it as like we're celebrating how she lived...
At least i can try...
Ignorance is my best friend...

A Poem From The Heart

2009-09-03T23:40:00.000-07:00

For words I could not comprehend you could say,

They stung so subtly yet numbly and grew stronger as I tried to understand the truth,

The reality that might or might not happened.

For something I could not understand,

Yet so compiled to want to understand,

I was empty, so violently shaken from the serenity of what I thought we could hold on for eternity.

Naive? Maybe so but I’d rather devour into the indulgence of such peace and calmness for as long as I can,

To enjoy moments of bliss so embedded in my mind,

Heart and soul but, ah! as you saw it coming; so ignorantly;

Coming that this bliss too, cannot remain untouched.

It had to be shattered by merely of words and the predicament of distasteful happenings,

Pushed upon by fear and anxiety.

Fear as misunderstood greatly, by many, is your great acquaintance.

For it propels you to see things,

Your imagination wants you to see and believe,for they are predictions of worst things,

Worrisome things, things that are of no control by us.

Fear, makes us strong when we think it makes us weak.

It hides hope when there’s none left for you to see,

But only to feel , when you need it the most.

It gives faith and cautiousness to those,

who do not seek it but knows to acknowledge its presence and treat it wisely like an old friend who needs a favour.

Love Story (Romeo Version)

2009-09-03T05:30:00.000-07:00

We were both young when i first saw you
I close my eyes and the flashback start
I'm standing there on the balcony in summer air

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns
I see you make your way through the crowd
And say hello, little did i know

That I was Romeo, I was throwing pebbles
And your daddy says stay away from Juliet
And u were crying on the staircase
Begging me please don't go and u said

Romeo take me somewhere we can alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
U'll be the prince and I'll be princess
It's a love story baby just say yes...

So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew'
So close your eyes, escape this town for a little while

Cause I was Romeo, you were a scarlet letter
And your daddy says stay away from Juliet
But you were everything to me
And you're begging me please don't go & you said

Romeo take me somewhere we can alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
U'll be the prince and I'll be princess
It's a love story baby just say yes.

Romeo save me, they try to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult but it's real
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess
It's a love story baby just say yes

U got tired of waiting
Wondering if i was ever coming around
Your faith in me was fading
When i met you on the outskirts of town and u said

Romeo save me i've been feeling so alone
You keep waiting for me but I never come
Is this in your head? You don't know what to think
Then I knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring

And I said marry me Juliet
You'll never have to be alone
I love you & that's all I really know
I talked to your dad, Go pick out a white dress
It's a love story baby just say yes

Cos we were both young when i first saw you...

The Holidays

2009-09-02T10:14:00.000-07:00

My bro told me dat he'll be going to JAPAN after Hari Raya with his class... he said that it's part of his course... WTF!! SO NOT FAIR!! It's always been my dream to go to JAPAN... ever since i was 16yrs old... I wanna go there & see Ryoko Chan... I can still remember her face turning red when she's blushing... KAWAIII!!! Hehe. Other than dat, Sha & I picked Japan as our 1st Honeymoon spot... so i'll say this once again... SO NOT FAIR!!! Is there any way i can go too? There must be a way right2? WRONG!! It's impossible lah... Nvm2... I swear dat i'll collect enough money to go there with the guyz in the future.

Sigh ive got to cheer up so i planned a reunion with my friends to buka outside this Sunday. Pika & I even made the event known thru Facebook & invited the guyz to join in on the fun. I hope the turnout will be good & even if they ain't coming, 5 ppl have cfm dat they'll be coming on dat day so it isn't all bad. I've got to enjoy the Holidays before the results are released... cos i dun feel good about it. I'll need a MIRACLE to get thru this year... it was dat stressfull... at least for 1 of the paper ah. So i got 2 games to help me enjoy the Holidays cos i was too bz studying for the exams dat i didn't even plan for the Holidays.

Then i'll be treating Boo2 to Popeyes nxt week not to mention going to the upcoming IT Fair which is in a few days time. I wanna buy a new MP3 or MP4 player & i hope i'll get a good cheap price for it. Well dats all i got planned so far... i wish i got more planned but sadly i dun. Hmm. This is by far the most slack Holiday i've had in years. Haha. Just staying @ home & listening to malay songs all day while playing games to pass the time cos my mom said dat it helps her in sewing the curtains smoothly & faster. LoL. So those songs gt stuck in my head. We havn't started to make Kuih Raya yet so i can relax for now. Hehe.

Okay2 i've changed the blog song oredy... ler. So many complaints... give me a break oredy guyz...

I've been having headaches all day tdy... thx to **N**. Seriously... wats the big deal in me keeping pics & putting them in slideshow on my desktop? Why are u making such a big fuss over it... majok lah sana... i dun see anything wrong with it... i juz wanna recall bck those precious memories i had bck then... it makes me happy okay! U want me to be happy right? Maybe it's ur manses acting up or something but seriously!! This is ridiculous **N** so i ain't gonna apologise get it!! Ur not even my GF!! At least not yet... So chill okay!! Grrr...

Anyways i should probably sleep...

See ya...

Whats Love To Us...

2009-08-28T02:46:00.000-07:00

A friend once asked me to guess what he was trying to make with a piece of paper, while we were eating dinner @ Mac. He told me that the clue was dat it was the most powerfull thing on earth... at dat point of time i was clueless & blur... wondering wat dat thing might be... a few minutes later, he showed me wat he made... it was a heart. Leeeeer... Lame... i noe!Hahaha. He then said this... Love is the most powerfull thing in the world. It can make people Smile/Cry... Jump For Joy/Jump Off The Roof... Makes You Stronger/Weaker... Give You Motivation/Make You Give Up... Gives People Hope & Faith/Lost In Darkness... The most miraculous thing is dat love creates life... But it can also make us take lives...

So everytime someone breaks your heart, stop & think about it before you shout out "LOVE SUX". Don't blame love for ur perdicament... cos we all have to go thru a few bad ones before we finally meet the right one... but we'll keep learning from the past relationship & hopefully we'll become a better person cos of it. But what if the right one happens to be ur past one... What will you do? Will you give him/her another chance or simply juz ignore him/her... Can rotten people really change for the better? Can gutless people really grow some balls? Will those backstabbers really mend their ways? Maybe? Maybe Not? But i would like to think that people can change cos... whats wrong in having a little hope... If i can change, then why can't they?! Thats what i always ask myself before judging others...

But sometimes we ask ourselves... why do these thing happen to us? Do things really happen for a reason? Whenever that question comes into mind, think about wat u have now... your family... your friends... who noes, there might be someone in the shadows celebrating... not cos they enjoy to see you suffer but they think dat their chance has come to win ur heart... dat maybe... juz maybe you'll give them a chance... but sadly we're damaged goods... trust is scarce... give us some time to get things back together again... let us pick up the broken pieces of our heart befor u say those 4 words dat means so precious to you... Say them too soon & u'll end up broken too... Whats love to you? Izzit juz the hormones or do you really feel so strongly for dat certain someone...

Some people love so deeply that they're willing to suffer in silence juz to make dat person happy... Some juz give up, thinking that the person they love is much better off with someone else... Some stay close to their love ones & became their best friends cos they dun mind being single as long as they can spend their time with the one they care for the most... Or are u all of the above?

Then what about our parents? Do they say dat they love you? Or do they even show that they care? Some parents try their best to show dat they care even if u keep shouting & scolding them. Have you ever took the time to juz hug ur parents & tell them dat u love them. Some people wished dat they could do dat... Cos their parents are no longer with them. Do you you want to wait & regret it? So please juz appreciate our friends & family... take the time to show some care & concern... show them that they mean alot to you. Don;t juz say those words juz for the sake of saying it... Cos those words are precious... Think about wat it takes for them to finally say those words to you. The moment someone search their true feelings, picks up every ounce of courage in their shaking body & say that they love you.

Thing arn't A complicated as some people think it to be... why must we have a reason to love someone? can't we juz love omeone for who they are? Stop asking them why they love you... cos then they'll have to think hard & it'll be awkward. LoL. Take things 1 step a time... no rush... what's there to loose? A rival? Wat makes you think dat they're nt gg thru the same problems ur facing now? I noe this post is full of questions. I hope this post helps to put some things into perspective.

Peace Guyz!! Genesis Signing Out!! Oyaseminasai!! I wanna get ready to buka now =)

The Fasting Month Is Here Again

2009-08-21T22:54:00.000-07:00

It's finally that time of year again... I've been looking forward to it since GOD noes when... I noe you guys must be wondering why would i like the fasting month... cos we can't eat or drink till 7+pm. Actually to me... It's like any other normal day... cos normally i dun eat or drink till night time either. The main reason why the fasting month/bulan puasa is so precious to me is cos, i feel closer to my lost love ones. It's the time of year where we're visited by those who have already gone to the other side. Believe it or not during this period of time, i sometimes feel her presence... the love of my life... i smell her distict but faint perfume when i'm praying/sembayang terawir @ home. So during this time of month, i'll sometimes just lock myself in my room & pray after break fast/ buka puasa.

I assure u dat i'm not insane no matter what people thinks of me. But it's true... ask ur parents if u dun believe me(malay people only)... The bad spirits are locked up while the good one are free to roam & visit their love ones once again. Ystdy was the last night before puasa... i can't help but to think back on the past esp last year where i was @ the peak of happiness but look at me now... still the same & single. Then i kept thinking about my friends when they ask me to get married... once again i remember "THE DAY" when i poped out the question & asked Sha to marry me all those years bck. I kept thinking & still blame myself for the accident... i think i would have been happy with her rite now if i had sent her back home myself. I can't help but feel sad as tears filled my eyes as i chat with Hudz on MSN ystdy.

Loosing a love one during Raya is as heartless as it gets... it's enough to make anyone loose faith in GOD/Allah... i hated him so much after that day... i ask mysef why must i celebrate Raya?! It's totally meaningless to celebrate an occasion esp when ur fiance passed away during that period of time. I felt so bitter back then because everyone didn't understand what i was going thru... i end up staying home every single day of Hari Raya except for the 1st day & continued for 6 years straight. I've only started to find a purpose to celebrate Hari Raya 2 years ago. Thanks to my close friends & family besides someone special told me that i should start getting to know my relatives & family. Cherish the ones that you still have with you. But today i read her blog & found out that she's going thru the same thing that i went thru all those years back.

I want you to know that ur not crazy... It's ok if you don't want to celebrate this year... find the strength to forgive yourself in order to be happy. I havn't seen you for ages now but i can only imagine the sad look as u wrote that post. I've always cared for you dearly & i've been praying for your happiness & safety ever since i found out that you lost your Dad last year. Who would have tot the day that was so special to me could ever be the sadest day to you... 24th December 1997 was the day Sha & i reunited after going to different Sec School & cos we lost contact before that day, thx to her parents moving house. So it was a special day for me & i remember every single thing that happened that day. I still think that ur the most strongest person i noe & i noe that u can get thru this. The difference between both our tragedies is that u can still confide in your Mom & Sis about how ur feeling. I had no1... my parent dun even know what happened to me at that time & why i shut everyone out of my life & went to NS. Trust me when i say that i think i noe what ur going thru & If you need someone to talk to, i'm always online. Hope u'll be smiling & be SUPER bubbly again soon. Tc Always.

Now for the update!! I got my Bursary a few weeks back & decided to blanja my whole family to Sakura because they never been there before & i juz felt like pampering my family abit. Hehe. On dat day, i went to meet them @ Orchard Sakura after my class ended on Fri. They were all in awe of the place & they were all smiling widely after the 1st few bites. Hehe. I'm so happy that my parents were happy. We ended eating from 7:30pm till 9:15pm. We ate till out tummy screamed for help. Hahaha. Heres a few pics we took on that day =)

Me, Dad, Boboy(Syazwan my youngest bro), Mom, Smurf(Syafiq my 1st bro)

Then a few days after that, i took my close friend & best friends out to Sakura too. Hehe. We celebrated Pika's belated B'day & Hudz gave her a gift. We end up eating till the place was about to close, Hudz nk muntah, Pika took off her belt cos her tummy was bloated(dah brapa bulan tu Pika?) & Amirul couldn't even walk straight cos he was too full. Hahahaha. I miss my best friends!! Hope u guyz enjoyed urself!! Not fgting Amirul who's been the one tutoring me for every common test & exam i had so far. Hehehe. Heres some of the pics we took dat night.

This pic was taken by Hudz. I like it alot Hudz!!

Finally some good news

2009-07-14T09:57:00.000-07:00

Both Teams Rushing for the balls as the game starts

1st Runner Up

Champions

I had a hectic day tdy. I left for school around 11:30am right after receiving Afiq call, cos i asked him to check the store in canteen 2 to find out if they have a ball pump. Thank God they had 1 around, so i dun have to bring mine to school. I met Ben near the bus stop & we waited 1hr for the stupid bus to arrive... Damn 154 is always late... freakin waste of time... Grrrr. I slept in the bus & was surprise to see that Ivan took the same bus @ Clementi. I felt really2 greatfull when i found out that Ben, Ivan, Bryan, Zack & Jeremy came to school to support my event even though they had no shool tdy. THANKS GUYS!! Really2 appreciate it.

I went to meet Afiq & Nad outside the gym & we went to buy the balls for our Dodgeball event. The shop was selling 1 Volleyballs for $5/- & 3 Volleyballs for $10/- Ooooh Aaaam Geeee!! Rite?! Hehe. It was Freakin Cheap!! I saw the same balls selling for @ least $15/- each outside school. Ash joined us as we were pumping the balls & we made our way to the sports hall. Afiq & I asked him to fetch the trophies @ Queensway since he has a Bike. It'll be easier & more efficient for him to ride there.

We waited for all the participants to arrive before we started the event @ around 2:10pm. Afiq took lots of pics. In the final moments of the game, Ahmad was the only 1 standing against Ben, Jeremy, Bryan & Ivan cos the rest of his team members were already taken out. He put up a resilient fight but Ben's team won it in the end. We took some final pics with both teams & not forgetting the Winners pics with the trophies before all the participants left. Afiq & I had a debrief before he took Nad home. After the event, i went to join Hidayah, Borris, Malcolm, Ben, Bryan, Zack, Jeremy & Ivan @ block 46 & did my AECAM project till around 5pm before heading to Teban for my haircut.

I was walking back home after the haircut when i saw Shida near my place... i just walk past her & was wating for the lift when she came to me & we end up talking for a while... she apologises & asked if we were still friends... like seriously... i should be the 1 asking dat... after all dat... u want things back to the way it was b4... like WTH!! okay3... let me get this straight... u left me... saying dat u wanna end our 9yrs of friendship juz because i wanted more time for school & didn't wanna commit... you nvr returned my msgs & calls then now all of a sudden, u want things to go bck to normal... juz like dat. Sigh... but to tell you the truth... i was glad... i felt happy... maybe things are starting to take the turn for the better... maybe.

I went home after our little talk & man was i tired... i switched on my laptop & fell asleep while watching Guyver 2 the movie. It's an old movie... i dun think u guyz have heard of it. Anyways... it's nearly 2 am now & i'm so tired... so dats it for tdy...

Lots In My Thoughts...

2009-07-12T11:03:00.000-07:00

School have been a miserable part of my life now dat i'm in Poly... i feel like i'm out of place... it's taking the happiness & life out of me... slowly killing me... i hate this part of my life now... been so down... lost in my thoughts... even when i'm surrounded by friends & family... What's this empty feeling i have deep inside... i havn't had this feeling since i lost Sha ages ago... Why have this feeling come bck now... Why am i thinking too much... Why can't i just smile & pretend to be happy & not break down in my sleep...

But besides all the stuffs dat has been going on lately... I've been really2 trying to be positive... I have my besties to thank for dat... They asked me how i was doing everyday & although u think dat ur not doing much... The fact dat i made u worry about me, makes me wanna change & try again... Even Sabby msged me & asked if i was ok... I was shocked & felt really6 greatfull & she made me remember why i was in Poly in the 1st place... I made a promise to my late ex dat i'll try my best to get my Diploma... In loving memory of the most precious & loving person of my life... I'll hang on & keep going even if it kills me... for her sake...

This is all i have now... Without it... Theres no future... i need to buck up now or the future i dreamt about will nvr come true... But how i wish she's still with me... by my side... telling me dat i can do it... dat everything will work out somehow... Cos now... Those words that she used to keep telling me are like the only pillars of support in my head... Keeping me from breaking apart... keep telling myself dat it'll be ok... it'll work out somehow... i dun have anything else... i can't depend on anyone else other than myself cos... no matter how close you are to dat certain someone... how special they are to you... it will only be temporary... dat the lesson i've learned from my past experiences... even if they say dat they'll always be there for me... someday... somehow... it'll end...

So ya... stop depending on my friends & family for my strength... sure i'll be stronger cos of them but it'll only make me fall harder... so pls stop telling me dat i still have you... it makes me sad everytime i hear those words being said to me... so many ppl have said it to me... all of them have walked away... actually every single 1 of them... Sigh... I miss ITE life... the freedom... the feeling of achievement... the friends i've made there... the love i felt & lost... the precious memories good & bad... the popularity... the fame & fortune dat came with it... feeling so high & mighty... ntg was better than dat... ITE Dover life was the best i've ever felt... If i can relive any part of my life... i'll relive those happy days...

Oh ya... 1 of my bestie called me ZaZa tdy. LoL. Dats new... but i dun mind really. Haha. It kinda make me feel happy dat ur comfortable with calling me by dat name. Even though we nvr hang out, u've became 1 of my bestfriends... some 1 who has always been there for me... keeping me on my feet when i feel like falling to the ground & vice versa... Someway/Somehow, we're always in the same boat... every single time... maybe dats why we can relate to each other... we've been sharing probs with each other since Dover days & i hope i can be there for u in the future... like u have been for me... I'm truely, deeply greatfull for ur friendship, care & support u've shown me... i guess it can't be help... i need my friends for strength... sigh... feels like i'm going around in circles... it's already 3am now & i still can't sleep... Insomnia's a bitch...

I'm gaining weight cos my injuries are acting up... i can't run... so how am i supposed to loose weight... All i've been doing is gg to Haikle's place to hit the speed & heavy bags & work on my jabs... hopefully a few bloopers can make us burst out in laughter. Hehe. Like wat happend with what's his name... Jack izzit? LoL. Srry i fgt. Dat sparring session end up with us laughing our ass off before it even started. LoL. Fighting without gloves & tape for the 1st time in the ring, end up with his mouth piece poping out of his mouth like an old man's fake teeth & a deep wound on my right fist. LoL. It was Hilarious! I wish i can laugh like dat everyday...

If only i can hang out with all of my besties, all @ once... i wonder how it would feel like. LoL. AWKWARD. Hahahaha. Booboo, Fir, Terry, Pika, SrtStf, AK, Hudz... i wish i can hang out with u guyz... juz be happy, crazy & juz have fun. I hope you guyz are doing well & happy... or at least doing better than me... Miss you guyz... Aww man i need to sleep now... skool starts @ 8am tmrw & it's already 3:45am... i'll be staying back in skool for CAM project work with Hidayah & the guyz then i still have to go buy the trophies in Queensway for Tuesday's I&E event... Sigh... i hope everything goes well...

Thx fir reading guyz...

Before & After The Common Tests

2009-06-23T05:31:00.000-07:00

Okaaaaaaay!!! Really3 Srry for the long absence, been really3 busy before the School Holidays... Then when the Holidays started... I was too lazy =P. Weeks of non stop class tests & assignments the followed by common tests. But things were great =)

Friday 5th June 2009

My parents treated my cuzzies & my whole family to dinner @ our favourite makan place @ Bukit Batok. I didn't eat the whole day in preperation for the feast... erm... come to think of it... i rarely eat in school anymore... to save money. Hehe. So i went home straight after skool then my relatives picked us (My family) up @ 7+pm to take us to the place. We all ate till we have bloated tummies =P. I found out later dat my mom spent a total of $500+ dat night... Oh well, i guess it's ok for her to spend dat much once in a while... besides she spent it on us so i can't complain abt dat can i? LoL. Here are some pics of the dishes we had.

Nestum Sotong

Shark Fin Soup

Sweet & Sour Fish

Chilli Crab

There were other dishes as well but i was too bz eating to take any pics. Hehe. The other dishes were Pepper Crab, Tofu Hotplate, Mini Sotong & Nasi Goreng Seafood. I pretty much juz spent my weeks juggling my workload, studying for tests & my assignments... it was so hectic. So i day while Amirul, Ahmad, Boris & I decided to juz relieve our stress & juz hang out. Boris wanted to go to Funan & get a new mouse as well as a pair of climbing shoes while i was looking for a gift to get for SrtStf. We were super late & Boris waited for more than 1hr for us all cos we waited for Rafiq who went home early but dat gundu fgt to bring his keys so he couldn't open the door & end up coming bck to skool. Ahmad oredy told Boris dat we were on the way but after dat incident, it totally slip his mind.

We end up not buying a single thing dat day cos the shops were either closed or the stuff we wanna buy wasn't on stick but we did end up watching night @ the museum in The Cathay. Then we watched Terminator Salvation a few days after dat. Then i studied till late every night in preperation for my Common Tests & AK was stood up with me till very3 late. Very2 sweet of her. Thx AK! But the paper was Uber hard for me... i dun think i can pass it... but @ least i tried. Math paper was easy though... But after all the hard work & sleepless nights, the common tests were finally over on the 10th of June 2009.

Pika accompanied me to JP cos i was craving for my fav cheese fries. LoL. Then i promised her dat i'll accompany her to repair her laptop in the future. We hung out @ JP for the day... OMG i miss her so much... we rarely spend time anymore... i felt really2 distant from her... we're best friends... @ least we were... but now... it's as if i dun noe her anymore... i still care a whole lot for her & i wish she's really2 ok. Sayang Kao... There usually alot hidden behind her smiles... GOD noes whats she's gg thru... how much sadness is kept hidden behind her smiles... Behind dat bubbly personality of hers... hugz

Pika Eating some Cheese Fries

Wednesday 10th June 2009

I went to skool to meet up with the guys cos the plan was to go eat @ Soul Garden but we went to the IT fair 1st cos Amal was late. I FINALLY bot my external hard drive!!! 320GB for $85!!! Oooooh Aaaaam Geeeee!!! SO CHEAP!!! I was so happy!! Wooohooo!! Now i can finally store my 56GB of movies somewhere else. Bayeeeeek!! Thx guyz for accompanying me!! The place was so FREAKING crouded & we could hardly walk... we were walking like zombis ya noe... then2 there was this point of time where a chinese guy bumbed into me & flung quite far away. LoL. Lembek pe... i wasn't even pushing. Then he looked @ me & said srry3. LoL. Srry for wat?!

We made our way to Marina Square after dat & was about to check into Soul Garden but we ditched the plan cos it was FREAKING EX!! $30/- sak!! PER PERSON!! WTH!! But i had the $ of cos... the guys dun have it though... Hehehe. Then we were discussing if we wanted to watch movie but Amirul didn't bring his specs. Then he said can2 he can see a little so we asked him to read the movie title on the notice. The Title was: In Love With U Man. Amirul said... In Love With You Dear & In Love With You Mac. LOL!! Tk yah sudah!! Slenge!! Wakakakaka!! So we didn't watch a movie cos Amirul can't see =P

We ate @ KFC before gg to Esplanade to watch the Flip Side concert. They were playing songs from the 70's & it sounded okay but Amirul didn't look like he liked it though. Hehe. We decided to go home after dat & was walking to the underpass when i bumbed into Zaid but i salamed him & juz got on my way. Srry eh Zaid... aku ni mmg mcm gitu... not so good with on route encounters. Hehe. We all walked to Funan & took different busses home.

Thursday 11th June 2009

I went to Lilly's B'day party alone... It was awkward but then my childhood friends showed up 1 by 1 & it got pretty hectic & fun as we played twister, treasure hunt & UNO... Then @ some point, they were asking how i was doing & we talked about the old days... they said dat they missed Sha... Sigh... We all miss her alot... I wish she was still with us. Btw LillY's mom made my fav dish for me... Roti Kirai... OMG!! Oishi desu!! Thx alot... it's been quite some time since the last time i had dat dish =) so i ate alot on dat day. Hehe. Btw LillY, u look kinda cute in white... If not tk habis2 pink je... no wonder u were Sha's best friend. Okay dah... I had lots of fun dat day... tx guyz... btw i'm still waiting for the pics guys... lembab pe korg...

NOTICE: Erm i can't really remember the actualy dates of the event cos it was so long ago... srry eh if there any mistakes in the dates.

Okay moving on. I was supposed to have a sleep over @ my cuzzy's place b4 RP reopens but then my bro said dat he juz applied for work & we had to postpone the event... ler... spoiler sak ditu... sapa suroh kao cari keje siang2 -_-". Okay nvm dat... i spent the rest of the week @ home & chat in MSN & Hudz, not to mention late night calls from Shida. It was fun =) . Talking to my best friends always make me happy... but the funny thing is dat they're all girls. Hahaha. Maybe cos my guy friends are usually watching tv or playing games & too bz to chat online. I've also been watching Goong S on mysogu.com thx to Sabby. I'm totally hooked to dat show. I've also been doing some weight lifting & had short jogs but the heat was killing me. LoL.

So since my plans for the sleepover was cancelled, i called Fir & told him dat i'll be joining him to Birdpark with the guys. Hehe. But i didn't tell Pika abt it so she tot dat i wasn't coming. LoL.

Saturday 13th June 2009

I meet up with Fir, Oz, Ali & his gf @ Boon Lay MRT stn... Pika was late as usual -_-" i was like hiding for 45 mins... ler... then i rested b4 hiding again b4 she finally showed up 1hr ltr... rumah dekat gitu pon leh lambat... no comments ah. She was so shocked & said dat i cheated her feeling. LoL. Apa je Pika... okaay we then get free tissue from this chinese girl near the interchange & took the bus to Jurong Bird Park. The entrace was free thx to Fir & his blood donating organization. Hehe. Thx Fir!! The whole place was packed & we had to que up for our free food, tickets & drinks. It was quite fast though... they were so efficient seh. Hehe.

Okaaaay!! We watched lots & lots of colourfull birds flying ard the place & some even roam free & Pika was like... Allah tk de pape ah tu benda but when it got too close, she went MAAAAAAAAAAAAK!! Wakakakaka!! It cracked me up XD!! So cute hehehe. There was also a waterfall & i saw lots & lots of beautiful flamingos in a pond. Kireiiiiiiiiiii!!!! Hehehe. We also watched a bird show where the vulture & parrots flew into rings/hoops & there were also pelicans but Soon Ali & his GF had to go make a move 1st cos they had other plans for the day. We went to the best part of Bird Park & dat was when we watched the cute little penguins in their enclosures. It really2 reminds me of Happy Feet. LoL. Kawaiiiii Ne!! Really3 Kawaiiii!! OMG!!! I FGT TO TAKE ANY PICS WITH THE PENGUINS!! WTH!! -_-"

So we took a bus to JP & had our lunch & was abt to go home when Pika when she suddenly wanted to to go to the IT Fair so Fir, Pika & I took the train to Joo Koon so dat we could get better seats & Fir dropped off @ JE while Pika & I went to the IT Fair. WShe did alot of shopping & met lots of her friends who were working there. Bnyk pe kawan kao?! She was supposed to buy her MP3 i think but then she end up wanting to buy spongebob pins,Crocks,Vest & new Jeans but2 she got no $. The Crocks didn't have her size & there were no spongebob pins... only Disney pins like Mickey Mouse. So i paid for her Vest & Jeans 1st cos they were having 40%/70% off & it'll be waisted if she didn't get to while they were soooo cheap. No Biggie =) . We walked to City Hall MRT after dat & I took the bus home while she took the train. Here's some pics taken on dat day. Hehe

Fir with is blood brother XD

The Bird Park Gang =)

Beautifull Flamingos

Monday 15th June & Tuesday 16th June 2009

I went night cycling with Amirul, Amal, Rafiq & Ahmad. Amirul & I went to scout the Bikes @ 5pm+ & the rest of the guyz came @ 7pm+. I met up with Amirul @ Bedok Interchange before taking the bus to ECP as usual we alighted & walked to the underpass there. After scouting the bikes, we sat down by the beach & enjoyed the scenery & atmosphere while we commented of joggers. LoL. Tk de keje lah! But it hilarious ah. Hehe.

Soon the guyz finally arrived & we started our journey form ECP to Changi via Park Link & everything was swell till he take a detour to go to the Airport... i had a bad feeling abt it cos i dunno how to get there. LoL. We all followed Amirul & I fell down in a narrow area & injured my left pinky finger cos i was like a bumper car crashing @ high speed. Hehehehe. No biggie... i've been thru worst =) . We got lost along the way & decided to juz go to Changi Village for our dinner then we went to Old Changi Hospital & was joined by a group of 7 cyclist from SP who was also doing some night cycling. We dismounted & walked up the long dark slope & dat was Ahmad's 1st time there & my 6th time & soon we reached the end of the road & it's either we walk in or turn back... since we everybody fgt to bring any torch lights, we decided to ditch the idea & went bck down.

We then said good bye to our new found friends & Made our way to Down Town East. We took a couple of pics while otw there & we had lots of fun. Soon we reached Down Town East & we rested @ Mac for awhile when Amal said dat he felt sick... OMG! He kinda panicked but he decided to continue anyway. SO we made our way to 7/11 near dat area b4 continuing with our journey but got lost in Pasir Ris Park so we followed Amirul again back to ECP but got chased by dogs otw there. LoL. I was way in front so the digs didn't actually noticed me but Ahmad, Amirul & Amal were targeted cos they were cruising way behind Rafiq & I. I was listening to my MP3 when dat happened so other than the fact dat i heard Dogs barking, i was totally clueless ah until the point where Ahmad zoomed past us & told us dat they were chased by dogs. LoL.

So we stopped & noticed dat Amal was missing so Ahmad panicked & we went bck to find Amal but then we saw Amal @ the other side of the road. Nasib selamat... Phew. We continued to Bedok Mac after dat & ate our breakfast before gg back to ECP. We reached ECP @ 4+am & we parked our Bikes outside the bike shop before resting @ Mac & we slept till 8+am... then we waited outside the bike shop for it to open & returned the bike before going back home. Our butts HURT LIKE HELL!! LoL. I took bus 30 & slept all the way home. I rested the next day too. Here are some pics for this event.

@ ECP otw to Changi

On Route to Down Town East

Wednesday 17th June 2009

I went to my Cuzzy's place for sleep over tgr with my bro Syazwan (Boboy). We stayed for 3 days & went back on Sat. On the 1st day i watched Goong S & spent time with my cuzzies & Aunt. I was up till 4am chatting on MSN with Hudz & AK while talking on the phone with Shida... her mom was giving her a hard time... things are getting complicated.

2nd day was spent playing psp with my cuzzies, MSN, more dramas & chat on the phone till 4am am again... getting even more complicated... breaking point...

3rd day my parents came over with lots of food & snacks but went back around 10pm, then i watched WWE on cable in the living room alone then i saw an old person walking to the study room... Hmm... theres no old ppl satying with us pe... it was very3 eeeerie then something wierd happend... WWE stopped broadcasting @ 11:15pm when the roster showed dat it ends @ 12am... WTH?! the TV juz went blank for 10mins so i turned it off & went into my cuz's room & told them abt it... We heard some wierd noises after dat too... but we tot it was ntg ah & i chat in MSN & was on the phone till 3am b4 i felt like gg to the toilet... my bro & cuzzies were already asleep so Jeng3 i had to go out of the room alone. It was very3 eeerie but i did what i had to do & went back to my cuzzy's room to continue my chat with Hudz b4 gg to sleep.

4th day i felt sick in the mng & we went back home. I thanked my aunt & cuzzies for the hospitality & we took the train to JE & took a bus from there. I rested @ home... was sick with cold & sorethroat. Was waiting for Shida to call but she nvr called since Fri... sigh... things juz got too complicated... i can't give her wat she wanted so she decided to leave & fgt abt it... the told me dat it's too hard to be friends & so she decided to end our friendship... sigh... so drastic... but it reminds me of myself once upon a time. A few days past me by & i missed her alot... miss her phone calls... miss her care & concern... miss the sweet moments... sigh... ur serious abt this huh...

I tried my best to let u give up on me in the past but u kept persevering & kept holding on & u made me change my view towards you... you forced your way into my life & made urself a daily part of me... picking me up from skool & spending time with me even though u work till so late in the mng... i dun noe how u managed to find the time... i was really2 touched by ur commitment... then now when i finally need you in my life... ur giving up on us... I dun get it... so now i'm telling you... PLEASE3!! come back into my life... I miss you... my life juz felt empty without you... since ur not picking up ur phone calls & didn't reply my msgs... i hope u read my blog & gvie me some sort of reply... pls dun end our friendship juz like this... It means too much for me... i dun wanna loose a close friend... from the bottom of my heart... pls come back Shida...

Wednesday 24th June 2009

My cuzzies came for a 3 day sleep over @ my place. We played games & more games for 3 days. LoL. Srry eh if i hogged the laptop... this always happens when i have a new game to play ah. Paham2 je lah eh. Hehehe.

Btw skool has started on Monday 29th June 2009... BUMMER!! Sigh... klah... i'll updat more some other time guyz. Dat it's for noe ya.

Thx for reading & Tc Everyone...

Mother's Tears... Sigh...

2009-05-29T06:40:00.000-07:00

Tuesday 26th May 2009

The actual plan for the day was to come to skool to revise for tmrw's AECAM test with Hidayah from 10am till 12nn then meet up with Amirul, Ahmad, Amal & Rafiq to catch Night @ the Museum 2 but as usual i arrived early... 30mins early & the classroom was occupied by a class, so i went to look @ the schedules of every class for the day & found out dat the room will only be available from 11am till noon... sigh... juz my luck... then Hidayah was late plak tu... boring sak dtg skola cepat2 with no1 there to talk to. So i went to the sitting area @ block 47 & listened to my MP3 & revised. Hidayah arrived around 10:40am then we chat awhile till 11am, before gg into the classroom to revise the Quiz examples, to prepare for tmrw's test. To my surprise, it was so FREAKING easy seh!! LoL

Then i checked my sms & found out dat the movie was cancelled seh cos the guyz tk de duit -_-" fed up seh... so i went home after we revised. Sux seh... what a dissapointment sak... i rejected several invitations for dat movie to go out with the guyz but in the end it was cancelled... Grrrr. While i was otw home, the weather got really3 hot seh & i was sweating non stop so i left all my stuff in the shoe rack outside my house, wore my jacket then ran around the jogging track a few rounds before gg back home to rest. So starting from tdy, i'll start my training again. Hehe. It's about time sak!! I'm getting too fat seh so i'm gonna get back in shape & damn i feel good!! Hehe. I feel energised again & i got my drive again.

Anyways, i kinda miss the guyz seh... we seldom hang out anymore thx to the endless assignments & tests. I chat with AK till 1am plus before gg to sleep.

Wednesday 27th May 2009

I was supposed to make a presentation tdy but it was postponed till next week... sigh... so boring... coming to skool juz for an hour of lesson. I went home & went for another roadwork but DAMN IT WAS SO HOT!!! I felt dehydrated seh... so i bot some drinks before running back home & worked out. I fell asleep till 7pm + before praying & finally washing up before dinner. After dinner, i tried to study for MF test but i didn't understand a single thing so i waited for Amirul to come online but he didn't... i guess he fgt abt helping me =( . Then suddenly my mom came into my room & asked me, abt my upcoming test then he asked me why i failed my Math exam... She asked me if it was really dat hard... cos she saw me studying so much for it & juz couldn't believe dat i failed... so i told her abt the whole story.

The night before the Math exam, i went online in MSN to ask my friends abt the questions dat i don't noe... then i saw Ani online so as usual i said hi... but then we exchanged songs & then Ani asked me to let her go... Sigh... i was broken... i did'nt wanna do it... but she asked me to... if dat'll make her happy then i had no choice so i said ok... I did'nt noe why she want me to let her go... That question has been in my mind ever since dat day... I guess it's too hard for her to cope... She did say that for her... if my mom dun like her than to her it's hopeless but i did'nt tell her dat my liked her alot... the words did'nt come out... i was juz too sad to think straight... then she said dat it's harder than i noe... but i dun get it & i still dun cos to me, anything is possible if we dun give up but i guess dats juz me... i said i loved her for the last time but she did'nt reply & juz log out... She shattered my fragile heart dat night.

I could'nt study... neither could i get any sleep dat night... i kept asking why & stayed awake till mng... i was'nt thinking straight & i went to the exam room the next day to sit for my Math exam paper... i did section A & B but when it comes to section C... my mind started to wonder... tears flowed & my mind went blank... i kept thinking abt her... then suddenly the invidulator annouched dat there was only 10mins left... i was shocked!! what was i doing... i went blank!! Sigh... i tried to asn the remaining questions but i could'nt remember anything. The moment the invidulator asked me to pun down my pen... i knew i was gonna fail... no dout about it cos section c was worth 50 marks. It's my fault for starting a conversation with Ani the prev night... it's my fault for thinking too much... it's my fault for not sleeping.

My mom cried after i told her abt it... she said srry to me... she said:

Mom: Srry eh nak... Mama tk tahu... kesian Abg... sampai tak leh concentrate dlm exam... Mama pun terfikir2 dari dulu... asl abg boleh fail cos Mama tahu abg blajar sungguh2. Tk pe lah nak... Mama akan doakan Abg supaya nanti Abg dimurahkan rezeki & supaya abg boleh jumpa yang lebih baik... supaya Abg akan happy balik... She said dat while hugging me & crying... i felt her tears running down my back.

I was so touched by her words but all i could say was ok. After all the hardship i've been through... i kinda lost faith in Allah after the exam but my Mom kept asking me to pray & have faith so i can concentrate in class but now she noes the real reason. She kept saying srry to me... sigh. She said dat i'm all she has... cos my bro Syafiq could'nt be depended on & my bro Boy2 (Syazwan) is still too young although he is the most dependable out of the 3 of us. I've always thought about my family... we're not rich but we're not poor either... i guess u can say we're juz right. We've grown closer & stronger through all the hardship all this years & i'm so lucky to have my parents supporting me with my studies. I'll study hard & pay u guyz back for all the kindness & support u've given/shown me thru all the years. I told my mom dat i'm ok now so she should'nt worry about me anymore & continued to study.

I still can't believe my mom cried for me... i was stunned... touched... felt helpless. It kinda makes me wanna try harder in life... in every espect of it... haha. For all my close friends & bestfriends who are reading this... I'm okay lah! I'm happy with my life!! The girl i used to love has changed into some1 i dun even noe anymore & totally not my type. Hehe. I guess u guyz were right when u guyz said dat things happens for a reason.

Klah dat all for now...

Thx for reading guyz...

Hectic To The Core...

2009-05-25T09:38:00.000-07:00

While waiting for the rest to buy the popcorn =)

Wooohooo!! KFC!!

Banyak Pe Pizza!! Bayeeeeeeek!!

I'm really2 srry for the absence... i've been thru alot since the last post... my life has been so hectic. So get ready for a another really long post guys. LOL.

Saturday 9th May 2009

My parents treated us to a KFC MEGA MEAL (16 pcs Chicken, 2 Large Whip Potato, 2 boxes of Popocorn Chicken & 2 boxes of chicken franks). Hehe. It's been a while since i last had KFC & i ate so much while watching Evan & Bruce Almighty on my laptop. Thx Mama, Papa for the big feast =) syg kog sgt2.

Sunday 10th May 2009

My parents brot us to JP & treated us to Banquet!! OMG!! the place dah tuka seh!! i can't remember the last time i went there. The takoyaki store is no longer there & the menu of my fav Western Stall has changed seh. Sirloian Steak has changed to Cowboy Steak but it's still Delicious non the less. The cheese fries is the best i've ever tasted seh... i love cheese!! i can eat it all day without getting sick of it seh. Omg!! I'm getting hungry juz by thinking abt it sak!! Ok2 the plan was to juz go there to eat as a family then go home cos i had to study for test tmrw. So my bros & i ditched my parents (They wanted to go shopping) & went home 1st. I studied for my test until around 3am+ before finally getting some sleep.

Monday 11th May 2009

I finally had my Math test... i finished it in 10mins. LOL. It was easy enough... cos i studied so much for it. Then as i was walking past the vending machine with Yat, i saw this girl... we've been bumping into each other every Monday seh... it was awkward... how she looked @ me as i walked by her every single time... as if she want to say something... but i was always in a hurry to get to the next class which is a few blocks away from there & i was always in a conversation with Yat as we walked past her... maybe she's from ME dept... maybe not but i'm sure dat she's from 1st yr. After skool, Shida picked me up & we had takoyaki @ canteen 2 before going home. She's hooked to it now. hehe. The takoyaki there is the best i tell you & it's cheap too. I thank her for the treat juz before we said goodbye. Then i chat with AK & Hudz all the way till 2am+ before gg to sleep.

Wednesday 13th May 2009

I went to Clementi MRT station to wait for the guyz but i was 30mins early & so i was standing near the EZ-Link booth when i saw a girl approching me in white. Dat girl turned out to be my cuz Molly. Cuz!! U look so cute & professional in dat uniform seh =) We chat awhile b4 she took off to meet her BF. Soon, Hudz arrived, followed by Pika... OMG! Pika's face look so pale seh... then ada panda eyebags plak tu... Sigh... sad seh ngok kao mcm gitu... then2 her hair looked so dry seh... ASAL DYE BALIK BLACK SEH?! LoL. But at least Pika was'nt late ah that time. Hehe. We got bored waiting for Fir so we explored the new mall nearby b4 Fir finally arrived.

We then took a bus to Dover ITE... i met Wee Teck otw to the cateen then i realised dat tdy was Linda, AK, Sabby & Dyla's grad day too... i fgt sak. LoL. To tell u guyz the truth... i dun even noe why we went bck to Dover seh... Hudz & Pika got invited to come over by Acah then Hudz invited me... i inturn invited Fir who invited Eddy. LoL. The place brings bck lots of fond memories for me seh... i visited the key places such as my classroom & sitting area @ blk 4... i won't fgt dat place...

The juniors soon came down & welcomed us... we chat & Khir did what he does best & laugh @ the top of his lungs. Wakakaka. He nvr change seh. Hehe. Good lah =) Ani was there too... she looked so tired, pale & bored. Then Fir & I went to see Mdm Fatimah & talked abt what's been going on in our lives thus far for a few mintues before going off to Vivo to catch a movie. Khir, Zaid & Jamal tagged along. We watched X-men Origin Wolverine... LoL dat was the 4th time i watched dat movie but i dun mind. I took a group pic with my bestfriends while waiting for the movie to start. Then we ate dinner after the movie before going back home.

Tuesday 19th May 2009

I have no class today & woke up @ 6am, solat then researched for info on my AS (Avionics Systems) ppt slides. I spent alot of time on it but i couldn't find much info on it... maybe because i really suck when it comes to making ppt slides seh... so i relieved some stress by doing some quizes in Facebook. Then i suddenly got a comment on my post from Sabby... i replied then b4 i noe it, we were chatting abt japanese drama shows & she introed me to a Japanese Movie called Koizora & a drama show called Gokusen. I watched Gokusen straight away & fin watching it on the nxt day @ 3am. LoL.

I like the show so much seh... it reminds me of my Sec Skool days... always getting into fights & getting into trouble but the teacher didn't get involved with us ah. LoL. And i nvr lost a fight b4 so dat show made the students look so weak seh... they lost every single fight... apa ni... cari gadoh then kalah... embaressing seh. If u guys are interested in watching the Movie & the Drama shows, u can go to www.mysoju.com . Seriously seh... it was easy to pick a fight back then seh... all u need to do was to stare or bumb into the Ah Beng guyz & they'll wanna fight seh. LoL. Mcm yeye gitu... then tk tahu lawan... exactly like in the show. I always had lots of fun with my gym mates after training session. We'll juz walk tgr then bumb into those Ah Bengs on the street & beat the crap out of them. Hahaha! Dat was fun seh...

How i wish i could go back to those old days again seh... i miss all the training... the fights... the carefree lifestyle dat i used to have back then. Although my family wasn't as close as we are now & i didn't have much friends... i was happy back then. Anyways, thx Sabby for introing me to both shows!! I really2 appreciate it =) . Oh ya those of you who kept asking me abt why i like japanese shows & music so much. I have always been into them... ever since i was in Sec 1 seh... i had a crush on my classmate which is a japanese girl & we dated for abt a year. She came to S'pore cos her dad wanna open a restaurant here but it was a failure & they had to move back to Japan a few years ltr but we were close... she's the 1 who introed me to Japanese Dramas & Animes. I watched dramas such as: Beautiful Life, Food Fight, Love Generation, Long Vacation, Love Revolution, Shotgun Marriage, Shota No Sushi, GTO, Pride, Good Luck & thx to Sabby i watched Mukodono, Koizora & Gokusen too.

Wednesday 20th May 2009

Went to skool as usual juz to attend 1 hr of class b4 gg home... Then i was watching some episode of Pride when i got a call from Mahen asking me to come to JP Banquet as soon as possible cos he got something to tell us abt Farihin... Sigh lagi2 psl si belo tu... so i rushed down to JP & was walking toward the banquet when Mahen msged me to come to Pika's house... ler... so i walked @ top speed to Pika's place & manage to catch up with them juz before they cross the road opposite Pika's block. Pika served us some drink while we waited for her to help her mom with their stuff. Then Pika's Grandma called me & we chat tgr with Pika's mom abt erm... nvm. Hehe. Some random topic ah. Hehe.Basicly they juz wanted to noe where i'm skooling now & how i am doing. So sweet of them ah =)

Then Mahen, Pika, Fir & I went to JP's Mac to talk abt the issue @ hand... It turns out dat Farihin has been treatening Mahen with his msgs... saying dat if he dun get his $ back, he'll give A.W.A a bad name... To Hell With Dat Ah!!! He's already given A.W.A a bad name!! We are so ashamed of having Farihin in our club. Seriously... which club or organisation gives u refund when u quit?

He's so damn STUPID!! He demanded dat we refund his t-shirt money along with the money he payed to our fund... which is more than $100+... Theres no way dat we're gonna give him dat money... Seriously... He dun even have the right to ask for anything & can u guys imagine this! Just try to imagine! He even typed abt that "I am a captain of a sepak takraw club" bullshit in his msgs... dat guy seriously needs to grow up ah. His immature behaviour & ego is seriously testing our patience... he still thinks dat he's not in the wrong. Seriously! I'll be so pissed off if Mahen gives him any money seh!! SO DAMN PISSED OFF!! He better not pay him a single cent. We stayed @ Mac & discussed abt it till 10+pm before we all went home... i was so tired seh...

Friday 22nd May 2009

I had my AMP test tdy... it was ok i guess... except for the last 3 questions... trick questions seh. Oh well... after the lessons ended, i suggested to the guyz dat we should hang out or something but they didn't seem interested so i head back home. Guess wat? I got 3 tests next week... Math, AECAM & MF... give me a break already... sigh... not to mention Common Tests is around the corner... sigh... hope i won't get too lazy to study seh...

Saturday 23rd May 2009

Went to cuz Effie's B'day party with my family... the food there was delicious but the games sucked... maybe cos i'm not dat close to him... anyways... they had a CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN!! My aunt cooked TULANG!! I had those two over & over again till there were none. Wakakakaka. Nolah... not till dat extend ah but i did ate alot. Hehe. Then i finally get to see my cuzzies again but Kak Nurren did'nt come cos Arman had Chicken Pocks... My whole family havn't get dat sickness yet... LoL. Anyways... we partied till 10pm+ before taking a cab home. I'm still craving for those tulang & chcolate seh. Sedaaaaaaaaaaaaap!!

Sunday 24th May 2009

My whole family went to Kak Nurren's place to visit Arman but i didn't go cos i had to study for my math test... but i end up watching Koizora. The Movie was romantic & sad but it's a very2 nice Movie... I can relate to this movie seh... it brings back lots of memories... Being in a relationship & the girls parents wanted a divorse... the impact it had on the children's lives... but in the movie... Mika's parents decided not to get a divorce. This things happen & unlike the movie... some parents really do get a divorce & their children suffer cos of it. Sha's parents got a divorce back when she was still alive... it really affected her studies... she ran away from home & skip skool for abt 2 weeks... i did'nt even noe abt it cos she said dat she was sick.

Then i finally got to noe abt it when i called her house 1 day & her parents told me abt it. Even back then i rarely make phonecalls... but i called her best friend & asked her if she has any idea where Sha was & then i heard a familiar voice @ the background... Sha was staying at her best friend's place... we had a long chat & i convinced her to go bck home. Her parents got back tgr a few months after dat & everything went back to normal again

Okay getting back to the topic, i strongly recommand the movie Koizora for those who really2 like romantic shows. I guarantee u guyz dat tears will flow... it is dat damn good! Hehe. Btw... i still hav'nt get any pics taken during the Graduation meet... Zaid's really taking his own sweet time to distribute the pics... whatever lah... I update the pics when i get them ok.

Monday 25th May 2009

I met up with Shida & Haikle after skool... they wanted to talk to me abt something. The moment i got Haikle's phone call, i knew something was'nt rite. We kinda had an intense discussion abt something & Haikle asked me... why am i always helping my close friends get tgr... he said dat instead of doing dat, i should try asking them out instead... cos i always end up falling for my close friends. Shit! Dat hit the nail rite on my head seh... but i've always been dat way... this wasn't the 1st time i endured such things... to me if the girl i love is happy with some1 else then i'll try my best to make dat happen... besides i dun even noe how dat person feels abt me so why should i make thing difficult for her when she clearly like some1 else. Am i rite to say this? Besides this isn't the 1st time this has happen to me so i'm used to it... I'll rather suffer in silence that to see dat girl sad...

Right now... these things are uncertain but 1 things for sure... i need to study for my common tests... i can't afford to fail.

Dats it for now...

Thx for reading guyz...

Weekly Updates =)

2009-05-09T16:01:00.000-07:00

Friday 1st May 2009

Wokaaaay!!! This week have been a really hectic week for me. So many things have happened, ever since last Fri which was a public Holiday. My entire family had a sleepover @ my cuz's place in CCK for 3D2N. We've been planning this event ever since before school reopens seh. Hehe. I had a Blast there!! On the 1st day, Both our Families watched Horror Movies in the living room, ate lots of food & durians, watched WWE tgr, then my bros, cuz(Irfan) & i played Phantasy Star Portable tgr via PSP till 4am plus b4 calling it a day =)

Saturday 2nd May 2009

On the 2nd day, we went to check out the garage sale which took place under the void deck. Dat was my 1st time seeing it cos we dun do that kinda stuff in Pandan Gardens. But it was wierd ah seeing ppl trying their best to sell us their junks -_-" ANYWAYS... my aunt(Bik Mimi) blanja us to lots & lots of PIZZA!!! WooooHoooo!! Then we ate Pizza while watching Congkak which we recorded from the prev day cos we watched WWE instead. Hehe. But it was still fun ah!! watching more Horror movies & sharing our ghost stories with each other. Our families has lots of ghost stories to tell thx to my aunt & me who has the same gift. We did'nt play games till late on the 2nd day cos we were tired so my bros & cuz turned in early. I wanted to turn in too but then i got a call from Shida @ 12+am & we talked till god noes what time b4 i was finally able to sleep.

Sunday 3rd May 2009

On the 3rd day, we went home early cos i wanted to study for my math test which i will be having on Mon. I thanked my Aunt & Uncle for the food & hospitality & rushed home to study... i studied till ard 4am+ before finally getting some rest for the lesson which will be @ 8am.

Monday 4th May 2009

I could hardly wake up dat mng seh & i was so tired as i went to school but then the Math lecturer said dat the test was postponed till nxt Monday. WTF!! I was pissed ah!! I wasted my time & energy to study for dat damn test then this happened!!

But it's ok... cos i had lots of fun during AMP practical class as my classmates & i made little trinkets using the Vacuum Wax Injection Machine. Then Andreu & I stayed back to do the project report after skool before he went home @ 4pm. Then i got a call from Shida... dat was the 1st time she called me while i was in skool seh... then she told me dat she was @ the NP bus stop... i was like Huh? Why? then she told me dat she wanna spent time with me since she wasn't working on dat day... but i told her dat i was Super Duper tired seh & i juz wanna go home to rest & told her abt my day. She said dat it's ok cos she will be staying @ her cuz's place dat day. So i meet up with her & we went bck tgr but i was so tired dat i fell asleep on the bus... SERIOUSLY i was tired okay.

Then i was abruptly woken up but some1 hitting against my knee as he was trying to walk past me & alight the bus. Then i was shocked! My head was resting on Shida's shoulder & she was holding my hands. OMG LAH!! My heart was beating so fast sak!! Then the girl sitting opp me was laughing sak... maybe my expression was funny to her ah but i was shocked sak!! SERIOUSLY!! DATS NOT FUNNY OKAY!! erm i slowly pulled my hands away & got ready to alight the bus cos it was nearing my bus stop. We alighted & i was quiet all the way bck home... DAT WAS AWKWARD!! I did'nt noe what happend... i was still in shock! & AK!! if ur reading this!! Stop laughing!! It's not funny okay!! -_-"

We walked tgr till my block there & she said goodbye & walked towards her cuz's block... OMG LAH!! What happened... i did'nt dare to ask her ah... It was so AWKWARD ah... my mind was blank but whatever lah i juz went home. I fell asleep super early dat day & was woken up by an SMS from Hudz & Epul @ 12+am. I turn off my lappy which was left on & apologised to all my friends who have been nudging me since as early as 8pm... srry ah guys... i was tired lah.

Okay the rest of the skool days pretty much was the same as always except for the fact that my group & i decided make a new CCA as our project. The CCA will be DODGEBALL!! WOOTS!! Those of you who are from NP, please support us by participating in the upcoming event okay! We will put up the posters soon okay. Hehe. MUST SUPPORT TAU!! I dun wanna fail lah! Hehe. Boleh paksa ni eh. Wakakaka.

Saturday 9th May 2009

I woke up early ystdy cos i have an A.W.A meeting... the venue was supposed to be in JE Library but apparently our GREAT leader forgot dat it was a public holiday so the library was closed. LoL. Then dtg lambat plak tu... Grrr... then while i was waiting outside the library, i saw Epul & some1 familiar beside him. Hehe. It was AK, she decided to join us anyway. Bayeeeek!! Happy pe aku ngok dorang gitu. LoL. Soon we were joined by Eddy & we decided to sit @ the coffee shop while waiting for the others. 1 by 1 they arrived... the latest of the group was Singh... star karat sak & he stay closest to JE plak tu... memang nak kene Dushtak! seh tu Singh.

Mahen started the meeting by saying that there will be an event soon in a few weeks time & everybody was happy but then Farihin started talking & telling us abt the things he wasn't happy abt... he said that ever since the last Dragon Boat event, he wasn't happy. LoL. All of us tot dat it was the best A.W.A outing so i dun see any relevance to him bringing it up... he said dat we didn't row properly lah... apa lah... whatever lah. I took out my treasurer notes & updated the contents while listening to him braging abt him beign a captain... he kept saying it over & over again... he's a captain on a sepak takraw club lah apa lah... Helloooo u think ur the only captain izzit?! U think ur the only 1 having problems in skool izzit? U think ur the only 1 having financial probs ah?! U dun see the rest of us whining & complaining abt our schedule & life rite? SERIOUSLY u complain & complain over & over... talking abt the same old stuff again & again ever since Dover days & u have the nerve to say that u have changed... juz because ur new classmates call u by a different name doesn't mean you've changed okay... what izzit they call u again? Zul? Whatever lah... as if we give a Shit abt all dat stuff...

Do you noe why i was so pissed off at this Farihin guy? Okay here's the "EFFIN" reason... it was last year... i was busy studying for my exams cos it's coming in a few days time so i went online & was asking my classmates abt the questions dat i dun understand @ that time then suddenly Farihin juz out of the blue msged me in MSN saying dat he wanna quit A.W.A... he vent out his anger on me because A.W.A was silent @ dat time... HELLOOOOO!! Most of the members were in NS & the rest of the members are barely coping with our new Poly life!! He said dat he's working & was always bz & he's the captian of a sepak takraw club but he still has the "PASSION" for the club... once again with the captain bullshit & U think ur the only 1 with PASSION izzit?! So i told him dat it wasn't relevant ah... him saying all those things to me cos i'm putting my studies 1st & he said dat he wanna quit so i said... u wanna quit then quit ah, i didn't ask u to join anyways?! BTW WHO ASKED HIM TO JOIN THE CLUB AH?!

It was NOT me okay!! There i was trying so hard to understand & study for my upcoming exams... cracking my brain to revise on the topic i dun even understand... while dat IDIOT was "WHINING" & "RAMBLING" abt his "I AM A CAPTAIN IN A SEPAK TAKRAW CLUB" topic... I DUN GIVE A SHIT!! GET IT!! SHUT UP!! I'M TRYING TO STUDY!! Besides i was gg thru a really rough patch in my life @ dat time too... Shida was buging me as usual... then Ani & I were on the verge of ending everything... My academic result were really3 bad & I was depress beyond measure but i was trying so hard not to think abt it... Do you noe how hard it is?! Knowing dat the person u loved so dearly is going to let you go but u can't do a single thing to change her mind... I was bare holding on to my sanity! Ntg i study goes into my head!! I can't memorise anything!! It was so freaking hard!!

Seriously!! I was there for Farihin ever since Dover... when his gf broke up with him... i was there when he had an accident & A.W.A made a get well soon card then we even went to his house to see how he was, gave it to him & wish him a speedy recovery... I even take the time to go walk with him in a park near his house & cheer him up dat 1 time cos he was really2 down & cried & whined abt his broken relationship but what have u done for us? what have u done to repay us for our kindness? U vent your anger @ me when i was gg thru a hard time in life & u vent ur anger over some ridiculous stuff... which i think is no big deal... Do u realise when u said all those stuff ystdy, u were only thinking about YOU!! YOU!! YOU!! Ur EGO is too big & u are too immature too see the big picture & realise dat u are wrong! To tell you the truth!! We were releaved when u walked off. SERIOUSLY!! U can spare us our time & the agony of hearing ur LONG GRADMOTHER STORY!! U wasted nearly an hour of our time... when u could juz use 5mins... take out ur A.W.A shirt & say dat u wanna quit! IT WAS DAT SIMPLE!! IT COULD HAVE JUZ TAKE 5 MINS ONLY!! Every1 was asking who invited Farihin to the meeting... Ler... tu aku ah... cos i tot Mahen still wanted him in our club... dat was a big mistake on my part. Srry Guyz... But at the end of the day, we all had a GREAT time laughing abt it.

You noe... i can write abt all the stuff we were doing when he was talking cos it was HILARIOUS!! Haha. Nobody was actually listening sak!! But i won't cos it's not necessary... if u guys wanna noe then juz ask me in person ya. I'll be more than happy to tell you guyz all abt it. Haha. Farihin... if ur reading this!! I won't accept ur appology! Because u dissapoint me!! U havn't changed at all!! Ur still the same Egoistic person i noe bck in Dover days... ur English hasn't improve at all too... in fact, it's even worst!! i can't even understand 1/4 or what ur saying... but i juz put the pieces tgr ah. Mcm fill in the blanks gitu lah katakan... Oh ya!! If you wanna appologise to me then do it face to face with me but u noe what... fgt abt it lah. I dun even care lah actually. Haha. U can keep the PS2 games that i lend to you so long ago... Seriously... u didn't even wanna give bck the stuff u lend from me without me asking for it... some friend u are. Fgt it lah u can keep it all. I got no use for it anyways. Use it as ur toilet paper for all i care.

AWYWAYS!! Back to topic!! After the meeting, we all went to IMM for lunch then Fir joined us & the guyz got him updated on what happened during the meeting & there was even a reinactment abt what happend thx to Singh! Haha! A.W.A T-shirt & all sak!! It was Hilarious!! Then we took a group pic & was joined by Latiff & then we went our seperate ways as Mahen, Ad, Ram & Singh went home while Pika went to her friend's B'day party & the rest of us (Fir, Eddy, Latiff & I) went shopping & hung out in Bugis, Peninsula Plaza, Far East Plaza & Lido before taking bus 143 home. I updated Fir as usual & Latiff updated him on his life too. Hehe. Happy for u Bro!! Hehe. Soon the fun ended & i alighted the bus & wave goodbye to my bros. I chat with AK, Amirul & Hudz online b4 gg to sleep.

Oooookaaaaay dats it for tdy's post!! Haha sorry for the SUPER DEE DUPER post lah guyz!! Hehe. I juz needed to get it off my chest lah!

Thx for reading guyz!! Tc Ya'all

The New Term In NP

2009-04-29T08:08:00.000-07:00

The new term has started & frankly speaking, i was kinda expecting the worst when i made my way to the usual bus stop near Cycle & Carriage, near my place to take the usual bus. When the bus finally arrived, i saw a familiar face in the bus. As gt on board, i saw this girl, wearing red ITE uniform... i swear, she looked so much like Ani seh... hair, lips, eyes, face but the way she looked & me was as if she did'nt noe me so i did'nt say hi... she alighted juz b4 the bus turned into Clementi Ave 6. Maybe it was'nt her... but i msged her anyway asking if dat was her & i said srry for not greeting her but she nvr replied.

Oh well, soon the bus reached NP as i alighted it & i saw another familiar face. It was my cuz Ifwat who joined the new intake but his classes has already ended & he was waiting for the bus home. I said goodbye to him after chatting for a few mins then as i was walking towards the Atrium, i saw yet another familiar face & this time, it was Elroy, my junior from Dover ITE (SC group). He told me, dat i told him, dat i was in SP. LoL. He heard me wrongly i guess. Haha. It's always nice to see a familiar face in skool seh... if only more of my juniors were to join NP... would'nt it be nice. After a chat with Elroy, i made my way to the Atrium & printed my timetable & bot my books before gg to my 1st class... sigh... 4 hrs of math for the 1st lesson... sux seh... but then it turns out dat i got into the same class as Yat, Ash & Hong Wei. I was releaved seh! At least i'm not alone =)

The 4 hrs went by so fast & i made my way to the nxt class & to my surprise, i got into the same class as Eugene (Tambi) new class seh!! OMG AH!! Wooots!! Bayeeek pe!! I like dat class seh!! Some of the guyz were from my NFL team so i'm with friends seh. Then Mr Wong, our AMP practical teacher dismissed us only 10mins after the class started. WOOTS!! BAYEEEEK !! AH!! So i went home @ 1:15pm on the 1st day seh. Hehe. The whole week in skool was fun actually. So i practically go to skool, hung out afterskool, go home chat in MSN with my close friends.

Then during the weekends, i was really tired & lazy... i juz wanted to stay home & play games but then i kept getting invited to hang out with my friends... but i was so lazy dat i rejected them all... even when Pika asked me out... Sigh... really2 srry guyz. Maybe nxt time ok. Then on Sunday, Liz added me in MSN. Liz is the girl Haikle introed me to the other day... i have no idea how she got my email ah... ni mesti keje Haikle ah... anyways, Liz was really dif in MSN seh... mcm change in personaliy gitu... in person senyap giler but in MSN so talkative. Then i found out dat she's Shida's friend... hmm... then she told me dat a certain some1 namely Shida told her dat we're getting bck tgr... OMG lah!! Since when seh?! I was irritated seh.... this got to stop ah.

I confronted Shida the nxt day & let everything out on her but then... she asked me if i purposely go out with her close friend to get bck @ her... WTH!! I was shocked!! I would nvr do dat seh... no wonder she was so quiet all the time i was talking to her... she tot i did it on purpose... dats why she did what she did... then she asked me a question dat TOTALLY took me by surprise... the same question i asked Ani the day we met alone for the last time.

Shida: Lets juz say years pass us by... could u ever forgive me for all the stuff i did to you... could u trust me again... could we start over?

Me: Speachless... Shocked... Touched...

I asked myself... what have i done... izzit possible dat she really have changed... i suddently felt this immense guilt. I noticed dat this is the 1st time ever dat Shida did'nt cry after a serious talk... her whole body was trembling & she was looking down... maybe she was angry... maybe she was trying hard not to cry... but 1 things for sure... i felt like crap... for making some1 else suffer the way i did... SERIOUSLY... sigh... I'm really2 srry Shida... if ur reading this... i'm sincerely very srry... I did'nt mean to hurt you... the way i did. I said some really harsh things to you all this time... made u cry so much... srry. I began to open up to Shida again after dat day, appreciated her company & phonecalls... maybe it's the guilt... but 1 things for sure... i began to look @ her in a different perception since dat day.

Wednesday 29th April 2009

I went to watch X-men Origins with Amirul, Amal, Ahmad & Eugene @ Vivo City tdy... we have been planning this event since last week & finally it has come to pass! We fin skool @ 3pm... erm actually they fin @ 3pm ah... i fin @ 2pm & had to wait for them. Then we took bus 61 to Vivo City & i played Ace Combat X with Amirul via Wireless Lan all the way to Harbour Front. Then we booked the ticket & for the 1st time in a few months, we got good seats seh. We went to have our dinner @ banquet. Amirul, Ahmad & I had Fried Kway Teow while Amal had Carrot Cake & Eugene had Nasi Briyani. Then as usual, they made me laugh so hard with their non sensical jokes & pranks XD. U guyz always make me laugh so hard seh... leh mati sak gini (Ahmad's favourite phrase)

Okay here's the low down about the movie. For those of u who are really into MARVEL comics & follow the original story closely... ur gonna get a few upsets... Stan Lee changed the story line again... dats all i'm gonna say. I dun wanna be a spoiler ah but if u guyz really like mutant action, this is the best movie for u! If u think X-Men 3 was good, YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET!! Wakakaka!! I give this movie 4 thumbs up & 10 stars. Hehe. After the movie, we accompany Eugene to candy empire b4 gg home.

Okay guyz... i'm gonna stop here for tdys post...
Thx for reading guyz...

Holidays Update

2009-04-17T10:27:00.000-07:00

Woohoo!! My very 1st Camera!! Thx Guyz!!

Really3 sorry for the long haul... alot has happened since the last post i made. This is what had happened this past few weeks.

1. Had a family reunion @ Cuz Molly's place but then we got a call from her dad... he suddenly couldn't walk @ work & his friend send his bck home. Went he got home, Kak Sha2 called the docter over to check on him & we found out that his liver was bruised & so their whole family send him to AH for futher Diagnosis. My family & relatives stayed over @ their place... everyone was worried but we did'nt wanna worry them so we juz watched DVDs & entertain ourselves while we wait for their update. Ltr we got to noe dat he was hopitalised & we visited him for the nxt few days. A week past after dat & my uncle was discharged but he's still recovering. I sincerely hope & pray for him to have a speedy recovery.

2. Been having stalker probs... the same old thing again... the same old person too... i kinda had enuf of this... SERIOUSLY!! After all the stuffs we talked about over & over again, she still dun get it... Bottomline is dat i dun wanna have a relationship with some1 who cheated on me twice... Cos it's just plain stupid... No amount of assurance & talk can change my mind on this... I've been very2 frank & said some harsh words to her but she still dun wanna give up... It's really getting on my nerves... So i stopped answering her calls & msgs... I hope & pray this prob won't continue any further.

3. Went to hang out with Amirul, Ahmad & Rafiq @ PS & watched F&F4. Amirul made me laugh from 5+am in the morning. He could'nt sleep & end up having a huge headache after spinning around in his swivel chair. Tak de keje lain nye budak... but dispite his headache, he still can't stop making jokes all thru the day. We had LJS for lunch but the jokes did'nt stop... i laughed too much till i end up caughing the fries out... thx ah eh guyz. I also get to see little miss pink @ her usual working place. The movie was AWESOME! The best Fast & Furious movie so far... i wanna watch it again seh!!

4. Reunion with Sec School clicks... Haikle brought his friend along which we tot was his new GF but it turns out dat he wanted to intro me to her... WTH LAH!! IDIOT!! I told u many times before dat u have to stop doing dat!! I hate it when u do dat!! Cos 1st of all, it makes me nervous & cause lots of silent moments!! 2ndly, it totally spoils my plans for the day!! 3rdly i dun like to spend time with people i dun noe!! It's AWKWARD!! The day kinda end up well though but i did'nt really talk dat much to dat girl... when the night ended, i did'nt even noe her name & i did'nt sent her home. Dats what u get for setting me up!!

5. Had the 2nd Family Reunion @ Yuyun's place. Irfan, Boboy & I played our PSP tgr with our multiplayer game , watched WWE... it's been ages since the last time i watched WWE seh... I still like it very2 much & i found out dat Stone Cold finally got into the Hall Of Fame seh!! WOOTS!! He's my fav wrestler btw. Hehe. We enjoyed ourselves so much dat we wanted to stay over for the weekend but Irfan said dat he wanted to sleep over @ our place so we decided to do dat during the nxt public Hoildays instead. Irfan slept over @ our place & we played PSP till late nights & watched Quarantine cos he nvr watched it b4. LoL. It was funny cos he kept getting shocked/startled XD

6. Went to visit Uncle & Cuzzies @ their place after he got discharged from AH. Cuz Molly was really quiet... maybe cos her ITE life will start the nxt day & she was worried dat the new intake could be full of Mats & Minahs but turns out dat she had a great time & found new friends on the 1st day. Good for you cuz =)

7. Spend days @ home watching old vids i took in the past while chatting with my close friends in MSN... they were gg thru a pretty tough time right now... i really hope i was able to help you guys cos all i wan is dat u guys can smile again & be happy again... believe be when i say dat i dun want to see you guys sad. Besides 1 of them have always been there for me & always have been taking the time to listen to my problems & she always try her best to help me. Thx for everything u have done for me & i hope i do the same for u anytime u need it. You noe who u are rite? The 1 with the accent XD

8. Paman Hasan & Bik Hawa (My Uncle & Aunt from my dad's side) suddenly drop by my place & gave me a surprise gift. Ooooh Aaaam Geeee!! I was shocked & Speachless leh!! They bot for me a Digital Camera with stand & additional zoom lences... SERIOUSLY!! I was shocked!! Cos i'm not really dat talkative & close to my dad's side with exceptions to them. I was so happy & i msged some of my friends telling them of the gift. Wakakaka!! Jelez ke pe?! I also noe 1 person who might be jelez of this gift cos she's really into photography. Hehe. Rite Sabby?! Kidding je ok. Dats not all, after giving me the AWESOME gift, they took us (Me & My Entire Family) out for late night dinner @ Sempang Bedok till ard 3am b4 sending us bck. OMG!! I ate so much =) Thx guyz...

9. I'm really2 not ready to go back to school... i've been really bz this holidays... i nvr had the chance to buy my new dumbells seh... so i did'nt do much work out this Holidays... sad seh... i'm really out of shape... so dat means i might to not join the Phanter's team this term... cos i could suffer serious injuries if i do... i'm not gonna take my condition lightly this time... i got enuf injuries as it is thx.

10. I read Pika's post a few days ago & i nearly teared seh... i miss those times & i wish i could hang out with them again... most of all... i miss Dover ITE & i miss my Best Friends way too much. But they're either in NS or too bz with work nowadays... even skool has been such a pain in the "A" . The other day, my bro told me abt this certain stall in SP... He went to... this was what happened:

Bro: Uncle!! Apa ada jual disini?!

Uncle: Semua ada!! Mee Goreng ada, Nasi Goreng ada, Nasi Briyani ada, apa2 semua ada.

Bro: Okay!! Ada Mee Goreng ah!!

Uncle: Mee Goreng tak ada!!

Bro: -_-" WTH!! Nvm ah uncle...

Seriously... i find dat Hilarious XD

Anyways... dats all the stuff i did duuring the Holidays & skool starts tmrw... sigh... malas nye nk gi skola =P

Thats all for now guyz... i'll update more if i feel like it ok =)

Woots SWENSONS

2009-04-01T05:39:00.000-07:00

Yuyun & Bik Mimi

Mom & I

WOOTS!! Yummy Ice Cream!!

I have been really2 sick these past few days & although my fever's gone... I'm still coughing & having sore throat but the other day, my aunt asked me out to change my Hp cos it's about time i change my phone. So My mom, My Aunt (Bik Mimi), My cuz (Yuyun) & I went to West Mall to change my Hp but it was out of stock so we had to go to Bukit Panjang Plaza to get the phone. Then Bik Mimi treated us to Swensons. Wooohoo!! It was my 1st time eating Swensons Ice Cream & It was Heavenly!! Thx Bibik!! She told me to keep in a secret from my bros but i dun think they read my blog anyways =)

I saw a familiar face while i was there. Although i fgt her name already, i still remember the love letters she used to give me during Sec School. I tot she couldn't recognise me but then she looked @ me & smiled @ me. LoL. Awkward!! I nvr replied her letters cos i was attached bck then. I couldn't possibly take the letters bck cos Sha would kill me if she knew about it so i kinda threw it all away after reading it & saying thx to the girl. I did told her dat i was attached bck then but the letters kept coming anyways. She was so sweet actually hehe & she looks kinda cute with her Mac Donalds Uniform. Hehe. Oh well... I juz smiled as i walked by her & soon i said goodbye to my Aunt & Cuz as my mom & i took bus 176 home.

The bus passed by a familiar place... i remember waiting for the bus there after sending her home... which was juz opp the bus stop... memories of the past will always be remembered... no matter how long time pass me by... i could nvr ever forget pleasant memories of the past. That was the 1st & only time i walked her back. I gave up on her a few months after dat day... but the thing about me is dat i always have a reason for doing the things i did. Bottom line is dat it's for the best @ dat point of time. It was the longest 5 min of my life as the bus pass by that bus stop...

Things sure have changed since dat day... i tot i found the love of my life after dat but it all turned to be 1 big lie... Hw can some1 who used to tell me dat she loved me suddenly tell me to my face dat i was'nt her Mr right... Not giving me a proper explanations & juz leave me hanging juz like dat as she walked away from my life. My love for her turned to hate & it really helped me to heal faster than i expected. But i'm better now... although i wished things could be different... i miss dat lifestyle so much... miss her family... i treated her family like my own... i miss her cute little sisters... Miss dat so much... but it was all in the past. Going on dates makes me nostalgic now... Love is so over rated... It nvr last... sure i'll be happy & feels like as though i can do anything with dat love of my life but sooner or later it'll all end & it always effects my studies.

I'm already 24 now & i'm still single... maybe i should start finding some1 my age... Maybe it's my fault for always going for those teenagers. Poly life sux... i wanna get this over with & start my working life... i'm getting sick of studying over & over again. I wish i can juz work with a high & stable income so i can support my family but Higher Nitec cert dosn't really cut it even though i had 4 Gpa. I miss my Dover ITE life... i miss it so much... I was so carefree & happy... everything was going my way. Now everything feels like as though it's falling apart... all i can do is keep on trying harder... hope & pray things will work out.

Other than dat, dat same some1 have been asking for another chance... promising happiness & a new beginning... although it sounds so promisisng... she did hurt me twice b4... u noe the saying... fooled me once shame on u, fooled me twice shame on me... what if it happens for the 3rd time... I'll look like an idiot so i'll rather not take dat road again. Even though she's been so sweet to me this past few months, i still dun wanna take that road with her again... actually for now... i dun really wanna take dat road with any1. Maybe i'm scared... but i dun need another broken heart rite now. So what if ur beautiful & sweet... i'm not exactly looking for that certain some1 rite now... if u really feel so strongly about me, why dun u juz be my friend & support me? Cos rite now... dats all i need. Dun keep saying u love me... i dun trust dat feeling & dat word anymore.

Actually it really makes me mad whenever i hear those words... So please juz drop dat subjt... i'm happy the way i am now. Maybe i might change my mind someday if some1 else comes into my life but ur certainly out of dat picture so give up already ya. It's really irritating when u kept asking me dat same old question over & over & over again... save those tears too ya... i'm not falling for it again... ever. You noe who u are... i dun need to mention ur name here do i. Actually the only girl i want to spend time with is my best friend. Hehe. Miss kao lah! No 1 noes me better than my best friends actually.

She gave me this msg juz now...

Pika: Mulai dari hari ni, aku tak nak kau lagik dlm hidop aku. Aku tak nak kau msg atau kol aku lagi. Aku da puas ar knl kau... tk gune aku kwn dgn kau.. Saki hati je.. Panngil diri sndri kwn, tapi kt belakang mcm sial.. Aku blh simpan rahsia kau, tapi asl kau tk blh simpan aku nye? Ahh?! Sangup kau bilang org yg aku ni... CUTE GILER? Heheee... Terperanjat eh? relax ar... APRIL FOOL!!!

LoL!! I was shocked seh!! Siak betul Pika!! XD

I was shopping for groceries in Sheng Siong with my Mom juz now then ketawa sendiri -_-" thx ah eh. Hehe.

Klah dats it for today...

Thx for reading guyz....

Changi Chalet with T103

2009-03-26T10:16:00.000-07:00

Room 2

Room 1

Living Room

View From The Balcony

View From The Front Office

Srry it took me a while to update my blog but i've been having high fever, ever since i got back from the chalet on Monday. Over 38 Deg for 4 days straight... i did'nt wanna go to the doc but my Mom forced me to anyways... Btw i did mention in my previous post dat i had a bad feeling about the chalet rite... damn i hate it when i'm always rite. The doc said dat i have dengue fever... sigh... the rest of my classmates dat went to the chalet has fever too although i'm not sure if they're in the same condition as me. Damn it... This Sux... Due to my condition, my parents have been bugging me to cancell the plans i had planned this weekend... Sigh... Pika & I planned a night cycling trip & we were very excited about it too... why must i be sick everytime we organised an event... Sigh...

Oh well... no use sulking over spilled milk... here's a summary of what we did during the chalet.

Day 1

We had BBQ & played games till 4am b4 gg to sleep

Day 2

We had BBQ, went to Changi Village for Dinner, walked to Down Town East, watched Quarantine & explored OCH

Day 3

We ordered KFC, movie marathon, played L4D till 6am

Day 4

We went to Down Town East for dinner @ KFC, Played arcade

Day 5

Left Chalet for Home Sweet Home @ 9am... then i got high fever till now =(

Sorry my update is super short... I'll update more when i'm feeling better ok guys...

Thx for reading...

Family friend

2009-03-18T09:17:00.000-07:00

Thurs 12th March 2009

My bro Terry came to place & treated my entire family to KCF... it was so sweet of him. I havn't seen him since god knows when but he's always been telling me dat he wanted to spend time with my family. His mom passed away last year & he treats my mom as his own... i was touched... we watched Quarantine while eating KFC... I can say that he's my Abang Angkat... we were really2 close bck in Dover ITE & we helped each other alot... i'm glad we still keep in touch & share this great friendship. Thx for everything bro... really appreciate it.

Thurs 18th March 2009

Tmrw the big day... my classmates & i will be spending 5 days in an Aloha Changi resort Bungalow... I'm very2 excited but i had a few bad experiences there in the past... i hope this time it will be different... although i got this uneasy feeling, i still have to go cos i've already told my classmates dat i'll be going. But thinking back about my past experiences there has really kept me on edge... all i ca do noe is hope & pray... try my best to have a good time there. So this will be my last post before the chalet. I'll update again when i get back in 5 days time ya guyz.

Thx for reading...

A Fighter's Heart, Soul, Blood...

2009-03-15T09:37:00.000-07:00

I'm writing this post for all those friends of mine who wants me to go back into the ring & to all my close friends who kept asking me why i like to fight so much. So i've put everything i had into this post so whenever you guys have the urge to ask me those questions again, i hope you would rather read this post, unless of cos u wanna noe abt my fights. Hehe.

Ok this is the low down about me... In the beginning, i took up Muay Thai in 1997 as self defence but then, i found out that i love the feeling of going against the unknown & coming up top in the end so i had a personal coach who's name i wish to keep private. At first it was all about street fights @ a time where gangsters roam as free as Banglahs do today. During dat time, u can see gangsters everywhere... If ur as hot blooded as i was bck then, you would noe why i needed to noe how to defend myself but then i caught the eye of someone. He offered to train me for free since his constant plead for me to join his gym was repeatedly denied cos i had no money.

Soon i was hooked to fighting... the feeling was like a drug to me... to be in the ring where split second decisions could effect the outcome the fight... no where to run... no where to hide other than behind ur fists. Every facial expression can cause u to hold back or attack... like for example when i throw out a fake right jab & the opponent blink, means dat he's scared & dat he's open for attk... every eye, shoulder & leg movement the opponent makes tells you about where the punches will come from & where he will move to. After 1 & a half years of intense training, i was able to predict all these crucial factors.

The training was a torture at the beginning... having to kick the steel pole all day for weeks, hit the hard bags & mits, the limitless roadworks (long distance runs to build up stamina), the bruises from constant sparring, shadow boxing after watching ur opponent's videos to predict ur opponent's characteristics & movement (usually done as training before fights), the diets i have to put up with, so that i could meet the weight requirements... I remember there was a time where my weight was way off the target & i had to eat only an apple after a whole day of training so i have to be very disciplined & kept telling myself dat i can do it. But all that was worth it, the moment the referee hold up my arm & called me the victor as the opponent's head came crashing down onto the ring floor. At that moment in time, life felt so good... everything felt so worth it. Then the money comes in & i treat my coach to KFC then I'll eat like a bottomless pit.

Muay Thai was the 1st sport i was interested in but i did it behind my parents back... it was so hard to keep it from them... juz imagine trying ur best to walk normally in front of them while otw to ur room, when ur legs hurts like hell & i had to do dat in skool too, cos if my teachers were to see me limping, they'll most probably see my legs & call up my parents to ask why my legs were so badly swollen... it was nvr an easy path to take but i love the sport so much... even when i was asked to rest after a match ended, i'll still come bck to the gym to do some light training & to watch the guys spar. The guyz used to think i was crazy... to be able to take so much hits & still keep on going... to tell you the truth, i dunno how i did it either... maybe it was the adrenalin but all i noe is dat i felt unstoppable. I even used to go out & pick fights with those Ah Bengs in the street... it was easy cos all i had to do was stare & those idiots would juz come & before u noe it, a fight will break out but those Ah Beng are ntg compared to my opponents in the ring... cos seriously... most of those gangsters dun even noe hw to fight... the only reason why they should be feared, were cos they have weapons... cowards. But winning against them kinda boost the morale if ya noe what i mean. Hehe

But i kinda made a few friends along the way. Hehe. Actually lots of friends... but i wonder where they are now... they kinda dissapeared from the face of the Earth seh. SERIOUSLY!! I continued this lifestyle all the way till around 2001... I remember that day so clearly... I fetched Sha after skool & we were walking thru the multi story carpark when i was jumped by 3 indian guys... they wacked me with steel pipes... dislocating my shoulders... but guess wat? i took dat steel pipe & knocked them out... Sha was screaming, crying & shouting for help... we heard the police coming a few minutes ltr & she practically dragged me to her house whic was juz beside the multi story carpark... i changed into her bro's clothes then she took me to her family doctor. She told the doc all about it & thankfully the doc was kind enough to give me free treatment cos we were students. He poped my shoulders back in, gave me some meds & after dat, Sha took me bck home in a cab. I can still remember her crying in the cab as she look @ my injuries & my brused face... then she asked me to stop fighting & quit Muay Thai... i was so stubborn & told her dat Muay Thai was my life... my passion... so i kept fighting till the day my left arm dislocated in a fight...

I was so frustrated... i remember the referee telling me dat he'll stop the match if my arm pops out again... i was like WTF!! Let me fight!! It was during the end of the 1st round for god sakes!! Of cos lah i did'nt retaliate!! NOOB REFEREE!! So i poped my arm back in & lay some hurt on the 2nd round, winning by KO. Dat was the 1st time i actually feared of loosing in the ring... it was a close call but if u think dat was it, u were wrong... i got scolded by my coach after dat... i got a huge lecture after i told him abt my injuries... he was pissed off... he told me dat i was his pride & joy... but i waisted it all cos of some street fight... sigh... i did'nt noe he cared so much... but not my fault wat... i dun even noe those indian guyz!! WTF seh!! My career ended a few months after dat & i promised Sha dat i would'nt participate in an official fight again but i still have constant street fight behind her back. Hehehe. Hw else was i supposed to make those stalkers stay away from her... lol. It was fun while it lasted =)

Come to think of it... Muay Thai was practically unknown bck then, until 2008 when Contender Asia was shown of TV... dats when Muay Thai started to gain popularity... Sigh... now i get so jealous when i hear this/dat person is a fighter from this/dat gym... sigh... if only i can go back to fighting again but my injuries juz won't allow me to... plus i promised my love ones dat i won't fight anymore. I'm trying my best to keep dat promise... but sometimes, a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do ;)

Thx for reading guyz...

OAC Chalet

2009-03-13T00:10:00.000-07:00

I've been having a WONDERFUL Holiday!! I had a chalet together with my Kouhais (Juniors) on the 3rd & 4th of March & it was AWESOME!! I went to pick up Pika @ her bus stop then together with Zaki, we took the train @ Boon Lay & bumped into Zack who was also on the way there. So we alighted @ Pasir Ris @ took the bus to Down Town East cos the chalet was @ Costa Sands... It was my 1st time gg to a chalet there so i had no idea where it was so i called Latiff a couple of times but it turns out dat Pika noes where it was so we juz followed her. Upon our arrival, i watched 300 on Zaki's I-phone... Come to think of it, the 3 of us, Pika, Zaki & I were the only senpais there... so it was a little awkward @ first but soon, we were cracking jokes & laughing so much, not to mention eating the yummy food there.

The 3 of us were all smiles on the outside but deep inside, who noes what was going on... cos the 3 of us have been through alot since the last time we hung out & we got alot in common... 1 fact beign dat we're all Single Mingle =) & the scar has yet to heal... it was'nt easy esp when the person u used to call ur love is there in the chalet with u... it was awkward... TOTALLY. But i just be myself & managed to have fun...

Zaki went back home around 10pm then Pika, Latiff & I went to Mac Cafe to chill for awhile as the tak about what's been bothering them... but i serioulsy dun know why things turn out the way it is... i guess it's juz not meant to be... so please dun hold any grudges ok... i've learned to accept it so i hope u guys can forgive & forget... I know u guys feel for me but theres ntg we could do... we juz have to accept it. After our heart to heart talk, the 3 of us went to check out the cinema there & wanted to watch Bloody Valentine 3D but it's only available @ selected places so we cancelled the idea & went bck to the chalet.

Things got a little Awkward after that... as 1 of my close friends juz lay beside me covered herself in blanket & suddenly cried... i was shocked & helpless cos i was so sudden... but thankfull she was ok by the time i fetched Huda @ the entrance. This shows dat theres juz so much the mind can take b4 it finally breaks down... someway, somehow, we have to lets things out & sometimes it juz spills out of control. Okay back to the topic... Khir said that they're cooking everything they had & we're gonna eat it while watching movies dat they brought. It was fun as the girls all cowered tgr on the bed while us guyz have to make do with any little space we have juz to watch the movie. LoL. Kecoh pe korang!! Hahaha.

But the actual fun started around 3am+ as Khir played Kelakar Seram on the DVD player. We laughed so hard after dat!! I practically ROFL!! SERIOUSLY!! Hehe. Tak boleh tahan sak!! We could'nt sleep after dat & end up laughing all the way till nearly 5am b4 we finally got some shut eye. Hehe. It was the best night i ever had in a chalet seh!! We all left the chalet in the morning & hung out @ Teh Tarik b4 gg bck home.

Thx Guyz for organising the Chalet... Greatly Appreciated.

The Exams Are Over At Last

2009-03-01T04:31:00.000-08:00

After the math exam paper, I kept gg to the Mac @ Beauty World to study with Ben, Darrick, Bryan, Zack, Ted, Ivan & YX. We'll be there everyday from 10 am till 7pm before gg to Al Azzar to have our dinner tgr. Days pass me by & the exams are finally over... all i can say is dat i have prepared to repeat a few modules... i got distracted... i could'nt concentrate... i even went blank during the Math paper. All i can do now is hope & pray dat i got enough points to advance to yr 2.

Friday 27th Feb 2009

Booboo asked me to accompany him to a slimming theraphy... so i decided to go but then i found out that he wanted to intro me to a few friends of his... 2 girls... leer -_-" His Ex (Sha) & his Ex's friend (dunno her name)... I wasn't comfortable with it so i just listened to my MP3 & slept all the way to the destination. When we arrived, i got bored & just msged some friends of mine to pass the time. It took around 1hr for the entire thing to end b4 we said goodbye to her Ex's friend. Then we went to have our dinner @ Mad Jack but Booboo took a few wrong turns so we waisted alot of time. But i got to noe his Ex cause of it... we kept picking on Booboo cause of his poor navigation skills. Hehe.

We went to Mad Jacks cos i intro ed them to it. Our actual plan was to go to Popeye's, which was @ the airport but Sha could eat chicken cos of her strict slimming diet, which she juz got from her consultant so they decided to try Mad Jack. We ordered Cheese Fries, Burgers, drinks, Fish & Chips while we told our NS stories to Sha. After dinner, we drove Sha to work before going to my place. Time check 8pm, we got no other plans so i asked Booboo if he wanted to play some games @ my place b4 gg home. We sat under my blog while he smoke but then he remembered dat he had to pick up his bro frm wrk.

Then i got a msg from Pika... cut the story short, we went to Funan to pick up Pika after sending Booboo's bro home. Then we went to East Coast for toilet break & just hang out for awhile. We sang a few song otw there & proceed to West Coast Park for some Mac Cafe & deserts, compliments of Booboo. Actually Booboo paid for everything the whole day... SERIOUSLY!! Where can i find a bestfriend like him anywhere seh? I've known him since my NS days & he's always been like this. I'm gonna pay him back for his kindness someday... He's the most generous & patient guy i noe. He drove us around till around 2am+ before we took Pika home.

I had a really great time tdy, thx Bro...

Thx for reading guyz...

More memories...

2009-02-19T23:54:00.000-08:00

My Math Exam paper ended tdy ard 11+am... then Amal, Amirul, Ahmad & I took the bus to Clementi. The bus was crowded so i juz sat down when i saw an empty seat but the moment i sat down, the guy beside me was shouting & talking to himself... then i realised... he's a 32!! Section 32 Cap 224!! Unsound Mind!! CRAZY MAN!! I looked @ Ahmad & was about to put on my earpiece to listen to some music from my MP3 when he said...

Ahmad: Mirza!! Bantai je!!

LoL!! Then he was smiling away before sitting in front of me while Amal was laughing. No wonder the girls were standing & didn't wanna sit down despite the crowded bus. LoL. To tell you the truth, i encounter this kind of people almost every week when i was in NS, when i was working as a Police Officer @ Clementi Police Div. So i juz ignored him & listen to LOUD music till we alighted @ Clementi... I pity him... Maybe he got an emotional breakdown... Something must have happened to him & causing him to be that way. Sigh... We then ate our lunch @ the nearby coffee shop. We all had chicken rice except for Amirul who did'nt eat. After lunch, i went to Hudz's place to pass her my Chalet Fee before gg to the mosque for Friday prayers with the guyz.

After prayers, we all hung out there for awhile before they all wanted to go home so we said our goodbyes & i went to buy a Mango Yogurt drink before taking the bus home. I alighted @ the usual place while listening to my MP3 as usual & i looked both ways before crossing the road as usual but the next thing i knew, a car was speeding & was heading for me from the left! I couldn't react... but the car managed to avoid crashing into me... i could feel the strong wind as the car went past me... the girl who was walking behind me tapped my shoulder & asked if i'm ok... i just stand there for a few minutes stoned... my whole body was trembling cos i have a serious phobia of fast moving vehicles...

I got home soon after dat & kept thinking abt it... then i remember a similar incident that happened in the past. It was after the AWA Dragonboat event... we were crossing the road when i saw a speeding car heading for us but we all managed to safely run across except for Ani who was still in the middle of the road & the car was approaching her really2 fast. At that moment in time, i instinctively ran back, grab her arm & pulled her to safety... there was silence after dat... my whole body was trembling... it was a close call... i was glad i managed to pull her in time... Thank Allah she's safe... everything happened so fast... i have phobia of fast moving vehicles & accidents but @ dat point of time i still go back for her... but why couldn't i move juz nw... i juz stood there as i saw the car heading for me... my legs didn't move like it did during dat incident...

I lye on my bed & was checking my HP for the vid i took ystdy during the study session with the guyz but then i came across some old vids dat i took during the Bowling outing with Latiff, Khir, Zaid, Yum, Hudz, Ani & I... I nearly broke out in tears... I miss those days... I miss it so much... I wished things could go back to hw it was back then... i was really3 happy... we were happy... i kept asking why it's like this nw... damn it... theres juz too many memories of the happy times we had tgr... i gave it my all till dat point of time where she didn't reply my msgs, said she needed space & kept gg to M'sia... It all started to go downhill after dat... her sweet & patience personality were replaced by mood swings & hot temper... what did i ever do to her... what wrong have i done to be treated this way... maybe i was better off if dat car were to actually hit me...

I apologise to all my readers for all the sad posts lately... but i wanna record every happy times & sad moments in my life mainly because this blog is my life diary... I wanna read it in the future & reminisce every Happy & Sad moments i went thru before dat day & hopefully i would have already found happiness in my life by then... I'll hope & pray every single day for dat future... the day i fin my studies with a Diploma cert & living every single day with the love of my life... filled with Joy & Happiness... with a high & stable income in my dream house... I'm working hard for dat future...

I'm gonna stop here for now...

Thx for reading guyz...

Sincerest Apologies... Genesis...

Moving Forward

2009-02-18T18:02:00.000-08:00

Woke up early to meet Ted ystdy @ K.A.P Mac for breakfast & to study for my math exam. That place was nice but they play the most lamest songs seh... We studied till 1pm then i took the bus to Marina Square to study with the guyz but Ted was lazy & went. I reached Marina Square MAC around 2+pm & saw Amirul & Ahmad. We were joined by Hidayat & Rafiq soon after. We did the past math exam papers till 9+pm before going our separate ways. Amirul, Ahmad & I walked to Suntech City before we took different buses. I took bus 61 & alighted @ Doughby Ghaut & walked past Istana Park...

I remember this place... The 1st pic i took with Ani was taken here by Pika... It was breath taking... I sat down somewhere nearby to look @ the scenery while reminiscing about dat time here we hung out with OAC... I miss those guyz... I was a mess... I can't even concentrate while studying juz nw... I kept daydreaming... There so much wonderful memories with her... I was really3 happy... maybe the most happiest days of my life... but i guess every thing must come to an end at some point of time & mine was tdy... I wished things could be different... just when my mom told me dat she like her... it's all over... i wondered around senseless for awhile before taking bus 143 home.

I lye down on my bed & listened to MJ12 but the next thing i noe it was over... i wasn't paying attention seh... i juz stared @ blank space... talked to Ezah & Ahmad online before gg to sleep. But i could sleep... i juz held the teddy tightly & prayed... prayed so dat everything will be ok... this is so frustrating... why does this things always happen during my exam period... i might actually need to repeat a module... i can't study... i kinda wished i can go into NS again... escape this cruel fate of mine... i tried to think about what i did wrong... i could only think of one incident... yes i was jealous dat day... dat was a major mistake... but i was srry... i understand now... but it's only 1 mistake... but maybe dat was enough to give her a reason to end it all...

I kept asking that same question over & over again... so many factors to the problems... but the bottom line was still this... i still love her so deeply... what if i were to say no... ntg would have changed... she would say... up to you... then silence... shut out from her life... so maybe giving up on her was the best thing to do... but i'm nvr good @ saying goodbyes... i was nvr able to let go of my relationships... the feelings & memories nvr goes away... yrs may past but i'll still smile/cry thinking about the past... she said i was her best ex... the best huh... it doesn't change the fact dat i'm an ex to her. People said dat things happen for a reason... riiite... we're all part of a bigger picture... some1 told me dat maybe Allah is testing me... i kinda find dat sick to the core...

The fact is dat every tear we shed makes us stronger & ever time w heal from a broken heart, we become colder... lots of people change cos of this... some people couldn't even recover from this... some lost their faith in Allah... some juz gave up on the idea of ever having a relationship again... some even took away their own lives... so became oblivious to the people around them... some people even become crazy... so i ask u guyz... isn't dat sick... but if we do recover, it'll be learning experience... this kinda reminds me of SAW movies... live or die... it's our choice. It's all a game... a game of life... the choices we make & the things we say & do, determines our future... in other words that certain person is our Mr & Ms Right cos we want them to be... when we're in love, we overlook their flaws & eccept them for who they are... at last dats who i am... dats what i do... good & bad, we have to eccept it... support him/her with all ur heart...

Some sort lik a loading bar ya noe... hw many percent will it be before we decided dat we dun want this & cancell it... till we decide to give up... i think mine was 70%... before it was all over... at least it feels like 70%... maybe it was lesser... srry if this doesn't make any sense to u reader but i'm just trying to put it in a different perspective.

Tmrw's my exam paper & i need to study as much as possible ltr... i'll be meeting the guys @ Centre Point to study... hope i can understand & memorise everything by tdy...

I was typing this post & decided to read my best friend's blog but what i read gave me a shock! She had a HEART ATTACK... OMG!! I msged her straight away & asked her if she's ok... Thank Allah she was ok... I was releaved... I'm so glad she's ok... I realised it again... Anything can happen... so we have to appreciate every1 around us & show them how much they mean to us... if anything were to happen, we might nvr get the chance to ever show them. I'm glad ur ok Pika... Sayang Kao sgt2... Pls take ur meds & rest ok...

Ya Allah... Please Keep My Love Ones Safe From Harm...

Thx for reading guyz...

I'm letting her go...

2009-02-17T08:01:00.000-08:00

So Close... Yet So Far...

I saw her online & gave her a song... she replied me back & gave me a song of her own... I miss her so much it hurts... but she misses me as a friend... why did she have to say dat... i listened to the song she gave me... i finally understand how she feels... i asked her the question i asked every single girl b4 finally giving up... Do you want me to give up on u... Do u want me to let you go... i was praying so hard... hoping dat she will say no... but she said yes... the moment i read her reply my heart stopped beating... i couldn't breathe... but i finally understand the feelings she kept inside... i get the feeling dat she did everything on purpose for a reason... she have been thinking about it alot & i might nvr noe the hardship she's going thru... all i can do is respect her decision even though it hurts like hell... The things she said were like knifes thrown to my chest... i'll nvr forget the words she said today... i'll nvr forget this day... Thx for the love & care u used to give me... I hope u'll be happy... I'll pray for ur health & happiness ever single day...

I'll regret this day for the rest of my life... i should be beaten up 10 times over for loosing some1 so special as you... but this is what u wanted... u asked me to give up on u... u tried so hard to make me give up... all u had to do was ask & u finally did... if beign with me hurts u so much... then i got no choice but to let go... cos ur happiness is more important to me... seeing u change so much this past few months made me realise dat... I just hope dat 1 day, u'll tell me the real reason why u did what u did... till we meet again... In Loving Memory of Siti Rohani Bte Suwarji... Remember the words i used to say to u cos it'll nvr change... my feeling won't ever change... Goodbye... I'll leave it @ this... I dun wish to write any further...

Thx for reading...

Exam Revision Has Started

2009-02-17T06:02:00.000-08:00

Went to skool for revision tdy... i was late... I got a stomach ache at the last min... When i reach NP, Ahmad was already waiting @ the bus stop. Then he told me something funny dat happened to him juz a few minutes ago. He told me dat he called Amirul & said :

Ahmad : Anda2! Anda Di Mana?!

Voice: Amirul pening...

Ahmad: Hahaha! Anda Di Mana?!

Voice: Amirul lagi pening! Dia tk pergi skola...

Ahmad: (Paiseh) Ooooh Srry Cik!!

It turned out dat the voice was actually Amirul's Dad. Wakakaka!! Ahmad said dat their voice sounds the same. LOL. We laughed all the way to OURSPACE. Then saw Our classmates all there but it was too noisy so Ahmad, Ted, Myself & Amirul (Turns out he was'nt having any headaches -_-") went to have our lunch @ canteen 1 b4 going to NP library to study.

After our study period, the 4 of us went to Queensway to have our dinner & i went to bargain for my new Dumbells before going to IKEA in search to Amirul's pillows dat he wanted to but for his GF. We were cracking 1 joke after another while we were there & i bet the people there were irritated by us. Ted & I could'nt stop farting & we used dat oppotunity to fart @ Ahmad & Amirul. Wakakaka. It was Hilarious!! But all things had to come to an end & we took our different busses home. I slept all the way home but then as i was when walking to the elevator, i saw a familiar face...

Shida was sitting @ the benches under my block...I was shocked... So i just walked past her but she shouted my name & asked me to chat with her awhile... erm i was hesitant... i kinda wanna avoid this but she said dat she wanted to ask me a few questions. We talked for about 45mins & hmm... dat conversation left me all confused & guilty... but my decision is still the same no matter what she says... reason cos i dun & can't trust her anymore... but i came to realise dat day... out of all the girls i noe... she's the only 1 who keep trying & i was touched...

So with dat guilty conscience i went home & studied for my AECAD exam but kept falling asleep so i decided to rest early.

I listened to MJ12 till i fall asleep...

Thx for reading guyz...

Unloading myself

2009-02-12T06:33:00.001-08:00

Kak Nureen & her B'day gifts (LOL ALL PINK)

Molly, Kak Nureen & Kak Sha2

Our Yummy Dinner @ Mad Jack

Me =)

Eugene

Amirul & Rafiq

Ahmad

Amal

This past few weeks have been really2 tough on me... I had to rush to meet deadlines for my assignments... 1 assignment in particular was AECAD... this assignment was due last Fri which was the same day as my FAT (Fundamentals Of Aerospace Technology) test... I had to skip my math lesson in the morning jus so dat i could print the assignments... only to noe a few hrs ltr dat i need to print it in A3 paper including classroom templates & Cover page... The whole day was chaotic but in the midst of it all, some1 stepped up to help me... my classmate Hidayah had her FAT test a few days b4, so she was free dat day & to my surprise, she helped me to print out my assignments... OMG... dat was so kind of her... i was touched.

Words could'nt describe how thank full i was to her... Btw Amal helped me as well but erm... he also nearly gave me a heart attk by disappearing with my assignments 2mins before the deadline... in the chaos, i juz handed in what i had & got it over with... i hope i can at least get a 'B' for that assignment. There's still so much assignments left to do & so little time to do it... i dun think i can fin it all... sigh. Despite all this Chaos, my classmates still managed to keep my spirits up & made me laugh. Thx guyz... for everything... i hope u guyz can keep putting a smile on my face... cos rite now... i'm loosing my strength... it seems like i'm loosing myself.

I'm easily enraged... easily frustrated... easily giving up... always tired for some reason... i feel so worn out. No mood to do anything anymore. Other than that, a number of unknowns are trying to get into my life... hmm... srry girls... there's usually a ulterior motive behind all that sweet talks & kindness... i'm not falling for that ever again... not ever. Maybe u guys are sincere... maybe it's juz me... i dun really care... rite nw, friendship is good enough for me... cos what if it happened again... falling for the charm, the cuteness, the flirt game... no thx. I'm waiting & will continue to wait for a sign... i'll wait for the day to go back to normal again... the day i can hold her hands & say those words to her & hearing her say it back to me... tears will fall but it'll be tears of joy... the day she's by my side again... Maybe i'm just dreaming... but it keeps me going... at least for now... that'll all the hope i have left.

Now for the BIG NEWS!! I finally told my mom about my past relationships the other day... i nvr tot she would understand but to my surprise, she did... we grew closer dat day... i told her everything, my injuries, my fights, the tragedy, the special people who made me the man i am tdy... the past, good, bad & the ugly... Everything. It's like as though a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders. No more secrets... nothing left to unload. She now noes what i went though all alone. She said lots of stuffs too... like for example...

Mom:

No wonder u suddenly wanted to go to NS 1st,
No wonder u were always in your room for days dat time,
No wonder u always look so sad,
No wonder u & kak Shasha didn't talk till recently,
I asked you but u juz kept quiet so i stopped asking...

I did'nt noe she was so worried for me... she kept quiet when i told her about my injuries... srry i kept it all from u... srry i made u worry. We talked about the past till late & she told me dat i'm so like my dad cos i easily get jealous. Aiyo!! I dun like to be compared to my Dad seh... Hate it!! But it's true... i easily get jealous... over the smallest things... i'm not proud of it.

Then she gave me her sincere opinions on the girls i fell for... the good & bad. But i was surprised to hear her praises =)

I was like Ooooh Aaaam Geeee!! Wow!! I smiled widely after those remarks she gave. Hehe.

Oh ya... Iv'e been going to Haikle's place this past few days to hit his sandbags... juz wanted to unload some steam... srry Dude... i ripped it up... i guess i got too much piled up inside. it's been so long since i hit the sandbags... it felt so good. I was actually expecting dat retard mat rape i fought last time to come bck for some payback but i guess i was wrong. Maybe he finally decided to give up dat stupid mindset of his... Looser. I kinda need to unload on some1... if only i can fight again... it'll be such a stress releaver seh =)

Oh ya!! My classmates & i went to have our dinner @ Mad Jack ystdy after skool. It was the best meal i had this month seh!! AWESOMENESS!! Hehe. My family also gave Kak Nurreen a B'day Surprise last Sat. It was fun!! Wak Som made us laugh so much with her lecture about relationships. Hehe. I was practically rolling on the floor laughing even though i was also bz doing my FAT assignment. After the B'day surprise, my parents blanja all of them for supper @ Aliff (dunno if it's the rite spelling) which was @ Bukit Gombak around 10+pm before going home & calling it a day.

Okay... dats it... Srry if the post is all jumbled up...

Thx for reading guyz...

Life Goes On

2009-02-02T06:14:00.000-08:00

Went to Vivo City with my cuz Molly last Fri after solat Jumaat with Ahmad & Amirul. I hang out with the guyz till 3pm but then Molly said dat she wanna settle her registration 1st so i waited till ard 5pm+ before she finally called & we meet up @ Harbour Front MRT stn. We went to buy my new Razer Salmosa mouse then i bot some candy & treated her to BK when I met my best friend Pika there with her sis too but it was a Hi & Bye kinda meet seh. After dinner, my cuz & I took bus 30 from Vivo to West Coast Plaza to relax @ the Starbucks there cos Molly said that the place was cool. We had lots of laughs while sharing a Venti Cup of Caramell Frappe & talked about what's been gg on in our lives... Miss her seh... It's been quite some time since we last hung out tgr seh... we stayed there till ard 9+pm b4 finally taking bus 30 back.

Oh ya!! The tournament has been cancelled but Ted & I were invited to join the school's NFL team!! Hehe. Cool sak!! WooHoo!! I told Gabriel dat my injury prone was C but he said dat it's ok. Hehe. I was so happy seh!! WooHoo!! I'm a good Line Backer & also a good receiver & i love this sport very1 much... a nice substitue for Muay Thai. I have been injured for 3 weeks now... I hope my injuries will heal in time for this weeks S&W lesson... i wanna play full contact seh. Seeing them play this past few weeks has really2 made me restless seh... I can't play cos of my damn injuries!! There were times when i felt like joining the game but i need to recover =(

To all my friends & love ones who are worried about me... please dun be. I'm just fine. I'll try my best to smile & be happy, so please dun worry so much... we just need some time.

That's it for tdy's post...

Thx for reading guyz...

Dyeing inside...

2009-01-28T14:54:00.000-08:00

She came to my area juz now... The questions she asked me a few minutes ago keep running in my head... over & over... i tried so hard to keep it tgr... my whole body was shaking... my heart was beating so fast i couldn't breathe but i hung on... tears filled my eyes & i looked away from her... I vowed not to cry again... not ever... but it's so hard to do... when the one person that means so much to me might no longer be part of my life... she asked me if i have anything else to say to her... ntg came into my mind when she was sitting right beside me... i was just savouring every single moment i had with her... knowing that i might not get to see her again for a really2 long time... then when she forced me not to send her back i asked myself why... i haven't seen her for so long & I'm so damn happy to see her... but did she felt the same way... she even denied my final request... the lift door closed & the sight of her waving goodbye makes me wanna cry... i looked down as the door shut... I couldn't sleep... lye on my bed right after seeing her board the bus... was that the last time I'll ever see her... was that her final farewell... i check up on her friendster & blog... it has changed... then it struck me... was this the end?
As i lye on my bed... helpless... the memories of me & her keep running in my mind... the 1st overnight BBQ with her family... the trip to ECP cos she wanna see her juniors... the stinky bus ride after dat... the 1st time i held her hands... the best bus ride i ever had during Hari Raya... the late night Hari Raya with my NS friend... holding hands watching Madagascar 2, arm dislocated but i didn't wanna let her go... the 1st person who ever hugged me so tight... 1st person to hug my arms... a dating relationship dat i can only dream of... the 1st person to ever kiss my hand... singing to her at the fountain of wealth... the cable car ride... the 1st ever girl who's family i treated like my own... the flowers i gave to her... the 1st person to ever give me a teddy... the way she makes me feel like I'm flying every time I'm with her & when we're apart, waiting for a day to pass me by seems like forever... the 1st person i ever fed chocolates to... the 1st person i actually wanted to be tgr with ever since the 1st time i got to noe her... some1 so special to me, it makes me feel like I'm inferior in so many ways... my source of happiness & strength, makes me feel like i can do anything when I'm with her... saying i love you to her is nvr enough even if i say it a million times over... the pinches she used to give me, hurts like hell but now i miss them so much... the person who filled that big hole in my heart & made me stronger as a person... she thought me the true meaning of family... her face... her eyes... her lips... her cute nose... her beautiful wavy hair... her charm... her snore =)... everything about her is perfect to me...

I dun care what people think... i dun care about your family background cos they're AWESOME to me... i dun care what my mom thinks... I'll fight to keep u in my life... i still think that we can overcome this if we try harder... I keep thinking why she would wanna end it... why wouldn't she wanna fight to survive this sinking ship... i would fight & keep on fighting cos that's how important she is to me in my life... what would i ever do without her by my side... but come to think of it, maybe the months of silence was to prepare me for this faithful day... I've seen this coming a mile away but i kept telling myself that maybe i was paranoid... maybe it's just me... but damn, i hate to be right all the time... now i feel like i can't go on... what should i do... Ya Allah... pls tell me what to do... all the prayers i gave to you to protect the people i love & make them happy... Now the person i love the most, the 1 i love so dearly is slipping away from me & I'm asking you for a little help... What about my love? My happiness? Your loyal servant is finally asking you for a little help... The proud & mighty has finally fallen once again for the 2nd time... U took away my heart & soul once... now when i finally got it back, I'm loosing it again... Will you give me light at the end of this dark tunnel in my life... i'm on my hands & knees & i'm begging you...

Feeling so helpless, i fell asleep... only to wake up 2 hrs ltr with the sight of a cute teddy by my side... Then it hit me again... it wasn't a nightmare... this is actually happening... you guyz kept asking me why i burn my diary & pictures of my late ex if i love her so much... ask yourself this, what would you do if dat persons sweet face keeps haunting you every night for years... the sweet memories dat used to give you strength & hope is now a double edge sword & killing you with every passing day... what would you do when u finally thought u had let her go but u breakdown every time u saw her pics... the things she left behind is like a knife stuck to ur chest... now that same thing is happening again... i got off my bed & went to solat subur & here i am writing this post... my whole body is so tired... my eyes feels like it's burning up, my head is tromping as if some1 is hitting it with a stick... CATS presentation test is @ 1pm later & I'm totally not prepared for it...

She asked me how long can i wait... i couldn't give her a proper ans... i dun wanna lie to her cos waiting isn't easy... obstacles keeps coming & i have to be strong... you never noe when I'll finally give up... especially without reassurance... cos u ask yourself what are u waiting for cos u haven't heard any word from her... the best way to wait is actually not waiting at all... juz go on with ur life but once in a while it'll struck u dat maybe she have found some1 better in her life... ur happy for her but u always wish that the certain some1 was u... then u end up miserable again... cos being juz friends again after sharing something special is hard... JUST FRIENDS... those two words are like bullets to my chest... juz kill me already... it might not be hard to you but it's the hardest thing for me... cos once i fall for some1, that feeling never goes away even if i tell every1 dat i dun love dat person anymore... even if years past me by... that'll never change... i won't talk to you & won't even see you eye to eye... wouldn't even wanna see you cos a single glimpse of u can cause me to breakdown... this goes to every single girl i ever fall for... i believe every 1 of you have heard me say those words to you before...

The sun has risen once again signaling a new day... Genesis to a new page in my life & finally after so long... my status is single & available once again... the waiting game has started once again... & once again it was for the same reason... the same words said to me before it all ends was...

1) I dun wanna loose you,

2) You deserve some1 better.

3) I'm not good enough for you

You guyz have no idea hw much i hate those words... it's like the calm before a storm... Sigh... I'm so tired... tired of my failures... tired of always giving it my all & somehow it's always nvr enough... srry if i ever hurt you... i still dun think i'm perfect... there's so many defects dat i hate myself... hate myself for always loosing the 1 i love... i burn bridges the moment i fell in love with her cos to me she's the 1... now i have no1 else... congrats Mirza... you dug ur own grave... alone once again...

I could never say all this to her, face to face cos I'll nvr get to finish what i have to say... cos I'll be drenched with tears... Shit i think i got a fever coming... I'm gonna rest nw... need to go to skool in 2 hrs time... i can't believe it took me so long to write this post... time past me by so fast...

Thx for reading guyz...

Back To Old Skool

2009-01-27T01:09:00.000-08:00

Before i start, i wanna apologise to all my readers for not updating till now... it's juz dat i got too many things going on all at once dat i dun have the time to update & even if i have the time, i'll be too lazy to do it. This past few weeks have been a trial for me... but now... i think i'm a stronger person. It's like i've switched back to that same roughneck i was a few years bck... but i still have dat jovial side of me somewhere. I did what i did this past few weeks cos i had to do it... like it or not, i have to stand up for myself... theres more to me... more then juz smiles & laughter.

Some Asshole Fucktard Son Of A Bitch came looking for trouble with me & for some reason, according to him, i had something to do with his GF breaking up with him... 1st of all... we're just friends, 2ndly, theres only 1 person in my heart rite nw & she's most definately not ur GF... 3rdly, i dun even have the time for my own love life... what makes u think i got time to go out with other girls rite nw? Unlike u, i'm still skooling!! Ya i'm not working!! Big Whoop!! Juz because ur working life is tough, does'nt mean we Tertiary students have an easy life... You came to me acting tough & u think u can take me on... I may have an injured leg & arm but i still knocked you out & no matter how many times you come back, I'll still knock you out again & guess what, i have to thank you for that cos i've been wanting to fight again for so long. Thx for making my record 27 Fight 27 Wins 14 Knockouts. Hahaha. Thx for adding 2 knockouts to the record. You looser.

Remember this!!
The World ain't all sunshine & rainbows...
It's a very mean & nasty place...
No matter how tough you are, it'll beat you down to your knees & keep you there permanently if you let it...
Nobody can hit as hard as life...
But it's not about how hard you hit...
It's about how hard you can get hit & still keep moving forward...
How much you can take & keep moving forward...
That's how we live...
If you want something then go out & get it but you gotta be willing to take the hits...
And not pointing fingers saying you did'nt get what you want cos of him, her or anybody...
Only cowards do that...

I know u read my blog & i dun even care, cos it's no big deal... like i care what people think of me... I dun give a damn!! U can take ur opinions & shove it up ur ass!! I didn't wanna post this @ 1st but then again it's my blog so i can do what i want with it. If ur still not happy with me, then ur welcome to try again. I'll be more than happy to add another knockdown to my record. Bring it on Asshole!!

Now that i got that off my chest, I'll be preparing for my upcoming exams in 3 weeks time plus i have lots of assignments to do, i also have an NFL tournament coming up & an attachment in 2 weeks time. My schedule is packed already... I feel like i have strayed from all the people dat is close to me... my Best friend & my cousin but i still have my crazy classmates with me. They nvr fail to make me laugh =)

Ok dats it for now...

I got assignments to do...

Thx for reading guyz

Lazing @ home...

2009-01-11T05:46:00.000-08:00

I woke up @ 10am today & couldn't feel my right arm... i tried to move it but it didn't budge... I TOTALLY FREAKED OUT!! so i lifted it up with my other arm & started moving it around to get the blood circulating... it took 6mins plus before i could finally feel my fingers again... my arm got dislocated... today's the worst seh... this has happened b4 but not to this extreme... Then my arm was sore the whole day... any strenuous movements will result in excruciating pain... I can't let my parents noe about it so i went to the living room & lye on the sofa till 1pm in the afternoon. My doctor had asked me to go for a surgery b4 but... surgery's temporary... i would have to go for constant appointments to tighten the screw so i didn't go for the surgery. Besides... I've been doing fine all these years so i dun see the point in changing that.

Then i just stared @ my laptop screen & listened to some music while chatting with my friends in MSN till night time... I read some1's blog & tears immediately started running... Sigh... Cos i'v been thru dat b4... Loosing some1 u love dearly & now u have to take care of the things they left behind... U think about what they tot u in the past... then suddenly everything kinda makes sense... as if they noe dat they're gonna leave u... she left behind her hamster & since i was the only 1 who had a hamster that time, i decided to take it back... then months pass me by & the hamsters gave birth to cute little babies & months after that more baby hamsters were born. Soon the number of hamsters in my house got too big & i had to sell them away... i got lots of money after that but then all of a suddenly they started dyeing 1 by 1 till theres not a single 1 left... I was sad cos they remind me of that special some1 who's no longer with me...

But animal dye when they get old... same goes for us...but not all of us will live to a ripe old age... sometimes they're juz gone & u won't see it coming... so my advice to all u people out there is to please treasure ur love ones... cos u'll nvr noe what might happen tomorrow... I tried to cheer myself up so i searched youtube for some funny vids when i came across this vid called Sneezing Panda & Star Wars Kid which i got from watching South Park. I laughed so hard & so long that i got a headache. Hehe. That totally cheered me up. But then i had conversations in MSN made me think about the past... I dun wanna start thinking about all that moments... Saying it all out wouldn't help me either... theres nothing i can do now... all i can do is wait... wait & keep on waiting... keep avoiding the topic as much as i can & putting a smile behind the sadness... so please stop asking about it already... i noe u guyz are trying to help but the constant questions are only making it worst for me... I'm trying so hard not to repeat history so please try to understand...

Ok dats it for today...

Thx for reading guyz...

Getting Things Straight

2009-01-10T00:49:00.000-08:00

Thursday 8 Jan 2009

FINALLY!!! IT'S THURSDAY!!! WOOHOO!!! I went to skool for my 1pm CATS lesson & Went to my long awaited S&W lesson!! Yeay!! The final lesson we had before the holidays sucked cos it was raining seh but today we finally get to play Football again with my team!! WooHoo!! Oh i miss this game seh!! But today the venue changed due to the Open house so we went to the Kismis Field opposite NP. The coaches were late cos they got lost but we had lots of fun!! The class finally got split up into two permanent teams & thank GOD i'm in Ted's team!! Woohoo!! We won the other team 3 - 1. I got lots of assist points but i still hav'nt get my 1st touch down yet. My favourite move of the day was when we were up by 2 - 0 & Benny was running for touchdown & i was running beside him when he shouted my name & pointed @ the incoming opposition defence. I charged & took down that guy as Benny got the touchdown. My adrenelin was pumping & i flipped back up & celebrated with my team mates as they congratulated me for the Awesome takedown. Hehe. My knee was bleeding cos i landed quite hard but it was a minor injury. Hehe. The opposition got a safety point cos Gabriel (One of the coach) who was in our team, did'nt wanna pass the ball even though we had lots of openings & end up getting taken down in our own touchdown area -_-" dumb. Then He gave us his excuse saying that he have an injured shoulder.

BIG WHOOP!! I got 2 Dislocated Shoulders & a Dislocated Jaw okay... Ler... Alasan... Tk nak pass... Then nak buat alasan... Who asked u to suddently join our team anyways... Macam purposely je... The other coaches joined in the fun but they were useless too... Apasal ni korang!! Holiday tk train & workout izzit?! Cos u guyz suck!! Then after S&W lesson was over, Ted, Nick & I went to have our dinner @ Al-Azzar & went to mac to have our deserts before taking the bus home. I was so tired & KO soon after that. Oh ya!! My coaches told me that there will be an interclass Football Tournament soon & The winner will face the Panthers (Coaches Team) & get a chance to be recruited. Bayeek!! Btw my S&W class is on every Thursday @ 3pm to 5pm!! Those who wanna see us WHOOP some ass, ur welcome to drop by the field. Hehe. As for the actual date & time of the tournament... it's not out yet seh... so we'll have to wait it out.

BTW!! TODAY'S AK's BIRTHDAY!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY AK!!! UR FINALLY 19 NOW!!!

May u have a Happy & Fun year ahead of you. May u always smile & always be surrounded by friends & family who shower u with care & love. Tc AK

Friday 9 Jan 2009

Ystdy was Hilariously & Insanely fun!! My classmates made me laugh so much that my headaches came back. Hehe. I dun mind really =). Amirul, Amal, Ahmad & I went to photocopy some stuff @ Canteen 2 during lunch & i saw my dream girl?! OMG!! I was stunned seh!! Stunningly Beautiful!! The guyz said that it was'nt her & that she looked different from the pics & lagi lawa but SERIOUSLY GUYZ!! Mestilah people look different in Pics!! WTH seh!! I practically went GaGa seh & dat rarely happens okay!! SP has Fiona Seah & NP got her!! WooHoo!! K Mirza stop it!!

After we were fin there, we walked to KAP (King Albert's Park) for our lunch. Ya we did'nt go for Friday Prayers cos we have lessons @ 2+pm. Then I had MEGA Mac Spicy... Ooh Aam Gee... I fgt hw spicy it could be as tears filled my eyes, trying to fin it... Woah!! But i fin it anyways. Hehe. Then Amirul got scolded by this insanely irritating Aunty who was the cleaner there cos he was erasing some stuff on his notes & was making quite a mess... I felt like taking that broom of hers & just smack it into her face... SERIOUSLY!! I'll do it if u anger me bad enough... I'm already so stressed up as it is... DUN MESS WITH ME BITCH!!

But Amal & Amirul made me laugh so bad seh. Amal kept saying... yes aunty... yes aunty... Nvm i'll help u sweep the floor, give me the broom. Wakakaka!! The Amirul was like totally ingoring dat BITCH & kept doing it over & over again till she gave up on us. Wakakaka... Dats right... juz walk away... walk away & leave us be. Then we walk back to skool & once again the guyz made me laugh so hard that i felt like vomiting seh. The wind was blowing strongly & leaves were falling down from the trees then Amal, Ahmad & I was saying our usual phrases when suddently Amirul ran infront of us, he jumped, tried to catch the leaf & Failed Miserable!! IT WAS SO DAMN HILARIOUS!! Ya Allah!!

Then Amal & Ahmad acted as a passer by Apek Driver & said Aiya Lu Ulak Lompat2 Lak Lamkap Laun Lapi Lilak Lapat Loh!!! Dat made us laugh like Hell yet again!! The passerbys were probably wondering why a bunch of guys were laughing till tears while walking up a hill to NP. Hehe. We walked by canteen 2 again & i looked around hoping to see her again but oh well... i can't hope to be lucky twice rite? Hehe. So we went to our lessons decided to watch Ombak 2 after skool & asked the rest of the class to join in. Ben, Darrick, Ivan, Mimi & Bryan wanted to join us. During the last lesson, Amal, Amirul, Ahmad & I played CS in our lappies but we managed to keep answering the teacher's questions without even looking @ our books. LoL. Bayeek pe kita?! Hehe. I got the best points in CS again cos i'm UBER!! Wakaka!!

Then my classes were finally over & we took bus 61 to Harbour Front but we had to walk through the crowd cos we were having our open house. Then The Barracudas were having fun @ the bus stop which was Awesome btw guyz!! Haha. Too bad Aylwin wasn't in it if nt we would have joined in the fun as well... Maybe ah. Hehe. The bus arrived as soon as we reached the bus stop so we squeesed in & i slept all the way to Harbour Front. Ooh man... the bus ride was Agonisingly slow... I was glad to finally get off the bus seh & walked to Vivo City but we finally got to the ticket Booth, we found out that there was'nt much seats left so we decided to cancell our plan & hang around Vivo instead. We played games in Samsung Store, watched Stomp The yard in another store, ate @ the Banquet, had plenty of laughs & finally relaxed in Starbucks before saying goodbye to the guys & taking the bus home.

I reached home around 11pm & played L4D with the guyz till 4am before finally sleeping after getting a warning from you noe who. Hehehe.

What a TOTALLY Fun day!! Hehe. Kinda wished i can have more of this kinda fun days.

Thx for reading guyz!!

Stuck In My Head With Other Stuff

2009-01-08T10:03:00.000-08:00

This song is stuck in my head....

Hope u guyz enjoy it as much as i do...

Jason Reeves - Photographs and Memories

I keep your picture by my bed
For when I'm feeling sad and I don't know why I would be
The way your smile looks so real
I feel like I could start to understand your grace

But I
I don't understand why you're not here with me
And I
I don't even wanna know where else you'd be

'Cause I have photographs and memories
Of the times when you weren't on my mind and
I was alone And
I have poetry and drawings
Of my life when you weren't on my side
And i didn't know just what is love

Writing moments on the wall
The different color keeps my mind away from missing you
And I can't wait to fall asleep
Slip into my dreams where we can dance upon the stars

And I
I'll be as patient as a boy in love could ever be
And I
I feel like I wasn't real until you were a part of me

'Cause I have photographs and memories
Of the times when you weren't on my mind and I was alone
And I have poetry and drawings
Of my life when you weren't on my side
And i didn't know just what is love

I need you back
I need you back
I need you here
I need your smile
I need your eyes
I need you dear

'Cause every line on your face
Makes a beautiful maze for my eyes to trace
Every line on your face
Makes a beautiful maze for my eyes to trace
'Cause I have photographs and memories Of the times when you weren't on my mind and i was alone

End Of Song...

I'v been listening to Jason Reeves's songs thru Youtube since a few weeks ago...

If u guys like the song, theres still more in youtube...

Theres 2 more songs that i can't seem to get out of my head...
the songs are:

Jason Reeves - Someone Somewhere
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=se0Q7IN6pZk&feature=channel_page
&
Jason Reeves - Just friends
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whc1asOYdds&feature=channel_page

Thx for reading guyz

Issues...

2009-01-05T05:13:00.000-08:00

Things have gotten very complicated lately... Theres so many stuff on my mind... Sometimes i juz go blank... Alot of questions dat i wanna ask but left unanswered... Theres so much uncertainty in me... Some friends of mine have been really2 worried about me... Some kept asking me about how i'm doing & hw's everything but to tell you guyz the truth... i'm not really sure... other than the fact that i'm doing badly in skool & that by itself is enough to keep me dwn & out... I'v been trying really hard to be positive... hiding my sadness behind my smiles... but i guess it's too easy to see thru me...

SrtStf noticed it even when i was talking to her in MSN... i tot i was cheerful... but somehow she noticed it... Then i was so caught up in my own tots dat i didn't realize being so quiet during the countdown outing with the guyz & Pika kept asking what's wrong... i'll usually say that i'm ok & dats it ntg... Cos it's too complicated to talk about... i got so many problems piled up together... i can't stop thinking about it... can't even get proper sleep... so i tried to cover it up by playing games... hoping that it might cheer up... well it works but only for a while... some1 close to me once said that i have to keep smiling cos she'll be sad if i'm sad... so i'v been smiling ever since but i'm srry to say... i can't do it anymore...

I noe i smile alot... i'm always jovial, friendly dispite my looks & i'm glad to hear that i make them happy but... when i'm down, theres ony a handfull of people who actually cares... It's kinda depressing ya noe... trying to fix something that can't be fix... i kept trying & trying but always end up failing miserably... Sigh... I feel like giving up... But giving up won't solve anything... so i talked to my cuz juz now & asked her for some advise. Out of all the people in the world, she's the only 1 i look up to as a role model. So wise, clever & full of drive & determination... i have no idea how she does it. To be in University & having multiple jobs @ the same time. She's also sucessful in her love life not to mention having both bike & car licence @ my age... Seriously, any guy who have u as his GF is super lucky seh Cuz... Cos u have it all...

Haha. Come to think of it, all Ur siblings have it all. I envy u guys & it makes me try harder but theres so many eyes on me... too much expectations to meet... I dunno if i can reach those standards... Plus the people that i need the most @ this crucial time isn't even there for me... i understand... We all have our own problems to face... But sometimes a simple act of care & kindness can really make my day... By the way, thx Ezah for that conversation we had the other day... I'll think about it ok. Oh ya! I still have a full container of Chocolate Corn Flakes Cookies dat u love so much. Hehe.

Oh ya... I would like to say sorry to my fellow A.W.A members for not going to our 1st club event of 2009 the other day... I noe i told Pika that i didn't wanna go the previous day but i really2 had a huge migraine on the event day... It's up to u guys if u wanna believe me or not but it's the truth... It was my fault & no other cos i couldn't sleep the night before the event & i stayed up till 4am... What do u call this huh? Insomnia?! Izzit?! Whatever lah! Then Fir called me asking where i was that morning & i had to tell him the bad news... I msged Pika too & i think she was mad @ me... nvm i understand... i had such a migraine dat i didn't really care but then Epul called me dat night & told me all about the fun times they had... i got kinda touched... Haha. Didn't think dat i would get a call like that. So thoughtful of him... Mahen called me before him but i was asleep... Too tired...

Wanted to call Hun & tell her about it but then i saw her online... status Busy so i waited but then she logged out... Hmm. So i kind forgotten all about it... Then i msged her yesterday cos i was worried... then she asked me if i was in Ubin... i told her about it... Then she replied angrily... i didn't noe, she would get upset that i didn't tell her dat i was sick... Srry Hun... I'm ok now... Sort of... Then school finally reopens today... It was screwed up... sigh... i was very down & wanted to just go home but i had to buy my concession pass so i went o JE Interchange... I was kinda like a walking zombie... Sigh... Erm i kinda nearly crossed the road without looking but then i saw an incoming car & managed to avoid it. LoL... i sound like Pika seh...

The Que was too long so i used the electronic booth instead. I went home soon after that & the moment i got home, my mom asked me if i'm ok... WTH!! Izzit dat obvious?! Shit lah!! I kept saying dat it was nothing but then she hit the nail right on the head... ler... i didn't noe what to say & got very cranky... Sigh... Now she feels helpless too... Sigh... I wished i have that magic remote control like in the movie click... so i can fast forward to when i graduate from Poly & can finally get a job... my real self would be in auto mode but i guess it's fine cos my personal life is kinda @ a standstill rite now... so ya... wouldn't dat be COOL!! Haha. I love dat movie by the way. Hehe.

I spent the rest of the day watching anime & eat some chocolates to cool down... Sux rite... Old Problem piled up tgr with new ones... Hal lama lom settle... Hal baru pulak sebok kacau... Sigh...

Thx for reading guyz...

PS: Srry if u guyz dun understand... go figure lah eh...

The people that makes it all worth it

2008-12-31T23:46:00.000-08:00

Thx For Showing me the love that i thought i can only dream of having... Love You Hun... Hope we can spent time with each other again... I miss that too much... Miss You A Whole Lot More...

Thx Cuz for all the fun times & adivices we shared tgr... Sayang Cuz! u"ll always be my Favourite cuz!! Hehe

Thx Alot Pika for always beign there for me when all everyone else fails... Sayang Kao Sgt2. Hope u can be happy again... U deserve it... Hugz!!

Thx for opening me up & making me change... thx for making me realise what friendship really means. Thx for all the memories gd & bad... I won't be the guy i am nw without u Sabby. Hope u'll be ok... Srry to hear about ur dad... Stay strong Sabby... May u have a bright future ahead of you...

Okay Guyz!! Thats my last post for 2008!! I hope i can continue making posts till nxt year. Srry for all those readers who gt hurt from reading my posts. Tc Guyz!! Happy New Year!!

Last Days Of 2009

2008-12-31T19:40:00.000-08:00

Best Friends Pika & Fir

From Right: Oz, Ali & Me

A X'Mas Tree made from toys displayed @ Sun Tech City

The View Of the City B4 The Coundown

Enjoying the jazz atmosphere @ Esplanade

I spent the last few days of 2008 with my friends & love ones... watched, lots of movies... Twilight, Bedtime Stories & Yes Man. We had lots of fun! Then ystdy, i was planning to just stay @ home & play games till morning but since played L4D till 4:30am with my classmates the prev day, i wanted to juz hang out with my close friends & Best friends. So when Ali called me & asked me if i wanna go watch the countdown fireworks, i decided to juz go with the flow, even though it was so last minute... i woke up @ 1pm+ & Ali told me to meet them @ City Hall @ 2:45pm. LoL. Mana sempat seh?! But i rushed & managed to take the same train as OZ & Pika.

I slept all the way till City Hall then meet up with Ali & walked to Marina Square. We waited for Eddy but he was super late... He's the 1 who organised this outing but he came late... Bagus Eddy!! Amalkan selalu k -_-" He finally came @ around 4+pm & we went to Suntec City for some Burger King before going shopping & meeting Fir @ bck @ Marina Square. Damn my feet were tired from walking so much. We looked everywhere for the perfect spot to watch the fireworks & finally decided on Marina Square, Outside Starbucks... Juz opp of Esplanade. Soon droves of people came for the same objective but we guarded our spot. Yup GUARDED!! Hehe.

But when it was finally time for the fireworks, we weren't disappointed. The fireworks display was MAGNIFICENT!! TOTALLY AWESOME!! I was glad i was apart of it. It was the best fireworks display i ever saw! The finale was the BEST! It was as though they took an entire Truck & Blast it out into the sky!! We were BOMBARDED by Fireworks!! Hahaha. TOTALLY worth the wait. Then when it was all over, we hugged each other & walked to Bugis Mrt to take the train there cos if we were to take it @ City Hall... i dun think we would be able to sit.

So we took the train & said our goodbyes @ JE MRT STN. Then Fir & I shared $ & took a cab home. I washed up & played L4D with Latiff till 4am. Well... Latiff kinda wanted to eat & totally fgt about our game. Hehe. But i played till 4am+

Goodbye 2008... It was filled with ups & downs... Sadness & Happiness... Lots of Confusion too... But i guess i'v grown stronger from it all... Got kinda disheartened too... 2 of my friends lost their dad... Sabby & Azmi... Sigh... Be strong guyz... They'll always be with you... Hope you guyz will be ok & remember that u still gt friends & families who cares for you. Tc guyz!

Happy New Year To Every1 1 noe!! Hope u'll have Great Start to the new year & wish u guys will have lots of Happy time s ahead of you.

Thx for reading Guyz!

X'Mas & B'day activities...

2008-12-27T13:40:00.000-08:00

Wednesday 24th Dec 2008

Was keeping myself bz playing games the whole day when i heard my handphone rang but i was kinda bz @ that moment so i kinda ignored it till the game ended b4 i checked who it was... I called back soon after that & she told me that some1 i loved dearly had juz lost her dad... i was shocked... sigh... i don't know hw to react in this kind of situation. Believe me when i say... i noe hw she must be feeling... i lost some1 i really2 love in the past... i locked myself up in my room for days... no appetite to eat... crying non stop & when i finally went out of my room... i looked like a panda who's about to die from poison...

Any kind words & condolences i received from close friends made me even more sad... i juz wanted to be left alone. I hope she was'nt going through what i had gone through... but who am i kidding... she lost her dad... she must be devastated... sigh... what should i do... i wondered... but in the end... there's nothing i could do... i hav'nt contact her since so long ago... i'm probably the last person she wanna hear from... so i juz keep silent & prayed for the best... hope she'll be able to pick herself up... cos it's gonna be a rough road ahead... hope she'll be back to her bubbly self again... cos she's surrounded by great friends & family.

Time pass me by & soon it was 12am... It's was my B'day... I'm finally 24... no big deal... The msgs kept coming in. Thx guyz!! so sweet of you all but i never really cared about my B'day except for the fact that i used to always look forward to walking with dat special some1 by the reservoir & just enjoy each other's company... it's been awhile since i last did dat so i decided to take a walk... i sneaked out of my house @ around 1:30am & walk all by myself @ Pandan Reservoir... Hasukashi ne... the atmosphere was so nostalgic... i miss that... but nw i was missing some1 so badly... it's been so long since i last spent time with her... the last thing i got from her was a msg saying that she had to turn off her handphone b4 she had to go off...

Sigh... how i missed her so... my effort to spend time with her b4 she gone off had ended up badly... what happened?! Things juz went wrong... but i apologised... i mean every word of it... how i miss her smile... her voice... her hugs... i miss her too much & things turned bad. I thought about this as i was walking back home... but then i got a msg from afiq asking me where i was... i told him that i was otw bck from my walk & then he told me that he wanna come over & give me my B'day gift. I tot he was joking but then he really came by seh!! It was nearly 3am when he finally reached my place with his GF & gave me his Black Leather Jacket!! Oooh Aaam Geee!! It was SO COOL!! Thx bro!! The 1st gift i got seh!! It really made my day!!

I got back & immidiately show Pika a pic of me with the jacket on through MSN. Hehe. Kecoh pe aku?! It was really happy seh!! It was nearly 4am but i was still up... so i turned off my lappy, lye down on my bed & tried to sleep but it was to no avail... i kept tossing & turning... so i listen to some music & was finally able to get some rest.

Thursday 25th Dec 2008

Woke up @ 1pm & my mom had preapared a huge feast!! My family bot me a cake too after i told them so many times not to waste the money... cos i hate cakes... i dun like to eat it... besides... i wanted a Pizza with candles seh... but they gave me a cake anyway... ler... anyway... thx guyz!! It was really nice of you guyz! They sang me the B'day song, then i made a wish & blew the candles... hope & pray it'll come true... then after the huge feast, i went back to my laptop & played game till night. Then my parents told me that my relatives (Molly & her parents) will be coming over but it was already nearly 11pm. They came over cos my cuz (Kak Sha2) went for a movie with her BF & took the keys with her & locked the door so they can't get in & so they came over to my place while waiting for Kak Sha2 to come back home.

I let Molly try out my new game Left 4 Dead. Hehe it was hilarious!! She shot the 1st zombie she saw but then another 1 peeped out all of a sudden dat cause her to squeal & ran behind me. LoL!! Cute pe!! Wakakaka!! So i continued to play in her place cos she was scared & refused to play anymore. Hehehe. Then we planed to watch a movie the next day after my Molly fin her work @ 1pm. Molly & her parents went home @ around 1am+ & wished me Happy B'day & i gt $30/- from my aunt. Yeay!!! Hehe. Then i surfed the net & listened to music till i fell asleep @ around 4am+

Friday 26th Dec 2008

Woke up @ around 10am+ , got ready & was about to leave my house to meet my Cuz Molly @ JP when my bro called telling me that he wanna tag along with my cuz Irfan so i waited for them. Soon it was nearly 1pm but they're still not home yet... cause they went somewhere in the morning... i forgot where... now they want me to wait for them to reach home & change before gg to meet Molly together. Sigh... if i knew it was gonna be this slow... i would have eaten my breakfast seh... but it turned out that the bus broke down & they got delayed again... sigh...

They finally got home & we rushed to JP but we reached @ around 2+pm & the seats for the 2:20pm show was nearly full so we had to take the 4:40pm show... sigh... I was ok with it but i was only worried that i would be late for my other plan ltr that day. I'll be having dinner with SrtStf @ West Coast Plaza & was supposed to meet her @ 7pm so i called her & told her about the delayed movie & dat i would be late. So we changed the plans abit & decided to meet @ 7:45pm. After making the phone call, we went buy my new wallet with the money i got from my aunt ystdy before going to eat our lunch @ KFC. We shared our $ & bot two sets of the $12+ buddy meal. WoW it was so fulling!! Then Molly gave me a super cool ring as a gift for my B'day seh!! Woohoo!! I love it cuz!! Thx ALOT!!

After lunch, we checked out JP & Molly found her huge Pink Carebear that she wanted to buy with her 1st pay. While i found something i was looking for since quite some time ago. Hehe. But it was ex seh!! So was the Pink Carebear. Hmm. I need to save up my $ for it but i think i can get it in no time provided it's still there when i finally got the $ to buy it. I hope so... After walking around JP to pass the time, it was finally time for the movie so we bot some drinks, M&Ms compliments of Molly & enjoyed the movie. It was Awesome!! We watched Bed Time Stories!! Finally another movie from my Favourite actor!! Adam Sandler!! v(^o^)

After the movie, we (my bro & i) said goodbye to my cuzzies & took bus 30 & bumbed into my dad, who's also taking the same bus home. Hehe. They alighted @ my house bus stop while i alighted @ West Coast & waited for SrtStf. She was late & apologised but i told her it's ok. Hehe. I'm so used to it lah. She finally arrived @ 8pm+ & we went to look around West Coast Plaza but dat place was too fancy... so we decided to return her rented DVDs before walking to West Coast Park to eat Mac & had a nice long talk. Then she gave me a watch as a B'day gift!! Woah!! Cool Watch SrtStf!! Hehe. Thank You very2 much!!

Then after dinner, i walked her home & i took bus 198 from clementi. What an enjoyable day seh!! Thx Molly & SrtStf for spending time with me after work & thx again for the gifts!! Then i reached home & got a msg frm SrtStf, asking me to sleep early but i was srry to say dat i was'nt able to sleep till ard 4+am...

Saturday 27th Dec 2008

Woke up around 2pm+ & saw every1 getting ready to go out... so ask them about it & found out that my Uncle was hospitalised so i wash up, ate my breakfast & got ready to go out. We went to West Coast to buy some food from the Hawker Centre there but it took a really3 long time seh... Then we took bus 51 to AH & finally visited my Uncle @ ward 8 lv1. He was so eager to go home but the doctor denied it. So try to relax there k Abang Zul!! We gave out the food to my relatives there & ate with them but we had to eat it @ the rest room.

After the visit, my relatives took us for shopping @ Quessway Shopping Centre & wanted to buy a gift for my B'day but there was'nt anything there that caught my eye so they treated my family to MAC for dinner. Thx guyz!! Hehe. Then i got a call from Hun while i was otw to the bus stop opposite the Shopping Mall. OMG!! I was so surprised to get that call from her!! I miss her voice, miss her so much. We chat for a few minutes before she had to hang up cos she wanted to cook something. She must be hungry... kesian dia. Yeay!! She's bck from M'sia!! Hehe. Happy pe aku?!

The bus finally came & i ate my Mega MAC spicy meal the moment i reach home & slept @ around 3am+ while listening to some songs from my PSP. Theres still 1 more week to go till skool reopens... I wonder what's gonna happen next week...

That's all for this week's post...

Thx for reading guyz!!

Movie Outing With Cuzzies

2008-12-23T10:01:00.000-08:00

Ystdy was fun!! The original plan was to meet around 2pm @ JE then go to Peninsula Plaza before watching the movie cos my Cuz (Molly) wanted to go buy her jeans but then she told me that she was'nt ready yet & it was already 1pm+ so i told her to juz get ready & msg me when she's about to go out so we'll leave our houses tgr. My younger bro & other Cuz (Irfan) are joining us as well. So she finally left her place @ around 3pm & we took the same train but it was packed & i was tired cos i slept @ ard 4+am ystdy... All Molly's fault Khekhekhe!!

So i slept in the train while listening to some music thru my PSP when i suddenly woke up. It was weird seh. I opened my eyes & there were 3 girls smiling & looking @ me as they were standing in front of me. I looked over to my right side & saw my Cuz (Molly) saying something but i can't hear cos my PSP was on full blast so i tot we have already reached City Hall so we all alighted the train but then i found out that it was only Outram Park... -_-" So we waited while my cuzzies were all laughing @ our blurness. LoL.

We took the next train to City Hall & transfered to Somerset. We made our way to Cathay Cineleisure & bot the tickets before gg to Far East Plaza instead of Peninsula Plaza cos it was already 4+pm & the movie starts @ 6:15pm not to mention dat we have to take multiple trips using trains if we were to go there. So my Cuz (Molly) decided to juz go to Far East Plaza to buy her new shoes but we took some time b4 we finally found the shop seh. The shop is very small seh but cheap ah so it's ok. Hehe. Then Cuz asked us if we wanted to try Fried Mars Bars... it sound weird rite?! But then we tried it & Ooh Aam Gee it was YUMMY seh!! But kinda ex seh... I think it was $4+/-

It's served with ice cream... my bro & cuz took Chocolate while i took Vanilla Ice Cream... Sedap sak!!! Then we also bot Old Chang Kee & Drinks while otw back to Cathay Cineleisure. The we bot popcorn, hot dog & nachos combo & get seated. We got the side seats... i assumed that every1 like centre seats... guess i was wrong... the movie started & my cuz (Molly) kept apologising abt the seats... it's ok lah cuz... it's already in the past... so fgt abt it k... i dun really mind anyway. The movie was ok... Romantic... but then suddenly i stoned... i juz stoned... i have no idea why... i kept thinking abt my own relationship & got pissed... very2 pissed off... but i just kept quiet & watch...

I dun wish to say what's bothering me... cos it's a good movie... i guess i was just pissed off thinking about what happened the past few days... But seriously?! Since when did Vampires shine like diamonds when exposed to sunlight?! Dats juz crap!! They were supposed to just burn to a crisp & die!! Unless of cos if they're day walkers like for example: Blade. But for some reason... all the vampires in the movie can walk in broad daylight... -_-" 1 other thing... Whenever there's Vampires, there will surely be Werewolves... the moment those tribe people said they're descendants of wolves, i went leeeer... so obvious...

But overall i think the movie was juz Awesome lah. After the movie, we took the train to City Hall & walked to Peninsula Plaza cos Molly wanted to buy her skinny jeans... we went into several shops but Ooh Aam Gee... those shops were full of Mat/Minah rape's clothes... Now i noe where those retards get all their clothes... Ooh Aam Gee... each & every 1 of those clothes were ugly seh, i dunno why those people buy them... then suddenly 2 of them were behind me & were looking @ this ugly purple long sleeve shirt dat looked as though it was picked out of a rubbish bin & i heard them say that it is cool & they wanted to get it...

I looked @ my bro & he looked back @ me in disgust... COOL?! WHAT THE HELL?! We juz kept laughing & walked away... Turds... We tried out a few more shops & then i saw a nice black jacket with white Mickey Mouse printings on it. WoW!! I immediately tot about SrtStf cos she adores Mickey Mouse. But the store was closing dwn for the day so i didn't ask about the price... erm more like i fgt to ask... Hehe. Srry SrtStf. Cuz finally got her skinny jeans in the last shop but the sales women was weird seh... she was talking with a fake accent & she kept referring to my cuz as Bebeh... WTH?! U think ur cool by saying that izzit?! We're not Mat/Minah rapes okay?!

Do not group us with those degenerate douche bags!! SERIOUSLY!! The shop closed for the day as soon as Molly got her jeans... so we walked to Funan & ate KFC there... i didn't wanna eat @ first but Molly treated us to a feast so i could'nt saw no. Hehe. Thx Cuz!! We had lots of laugh while we ate & we got lots of inside jokes cos of it. Hehe. Oh ya... The waitress was very2 friendly seh & kept smiling @ us. After dinner, we walked to City Hall stn & took the train... I slept all the way to JE MRT STN... waking up juz to say goodbye to my Molly we alight & took the usual bus home.

Went online after taking a nice long bath & chat with AK for a while b4 typing this post. I still can't sleep well... Sigh...

Thx for reading guyz...

Problems Of The Heart

2008-12-22T23:48:00.000-08:00

Alot of complicated stuffs have been happening in our daily lives & may probably be causing alot of sadness & confusion... So i'v decided to write this post about this matter...

Ya noe... Some people have juz gone through a rough patch in their life for example a breakup but are probably trying to start anew... Then it juz so happen that some1 else noe about it & that person have been waiting & supporting u in the dark without u ever noeing about it but he/she happens to be some1 ur close to & noe quite well but u decided to take it slow & make him/her wait for u...

Making him wait is'nt wrong... i guess... but we usually tend to take things for granted... cos we think that since he/she have been waiting for us since god noes when, then it does'nt hurt to make him/her wait a little bit more... then a few months pass u by & that person decided to give up & leave... then u asked urself what u have done wrong & why things happened the way it did...

Srry to say it's ur fault... Cos u don't noe that by making him/her wait, ur actually hurting them more & more with each passing day/month... & even if they decided to wait for u, eventually u'll get a little busy with ur life & they'll feel a sense of beign neglected... cos who can blame them cos u might not take the effort to reassure them... ya u may think that it's a small matter & they should learn to be patient... but have u ever though about the sacrifices they had to take to keep waiting?

For example... some other people in their lives may be intrested in them & manipulating them to stop waiting for u cos that person think that they deserve better... How hard & painfull it is to keep telling themselves dat things will be ok & keep resisting the temptation... Guess u never thought of that do u? Ya this things happen quite often & it's kinda normal actually... Cos we tend to neglect the ones that we're close to, cos we expect them to wait for us... but that's where the problem lye... we ask them to wait & be understanding but we're not beign understanding towards their feelings... I guess in this world... sometimes it dos'nt pay to be kind cos kind people are always taken advantage of... Like for example ur very kind & nvr ever get mad & nvr strike ur love ones cos the thought of hurting them hurts u more than they can ever imagine so u juz kept quiet but they usually don't really appreciate it & kept picking on u...

That's the way life is guyz... Then the worst part is that those people are always so ignorant... cos they think they're nt in the wrong... Ya noe... I read from somewhere that we're suppose to learn something from every single person we meet in our lives & that every single person have a part to play in our lives & i think it's true... Someway, somehow, we change every single time things happen... for better or for worst, we'll always change... to become a better person or become stronger inside... But hw much can we actually take before we finally breakdown... sometimes juz when we're about to give up, that special some1 that u have longed to see & miss so bad, juz happened to do something so sweet & it can juz changed ur mind to give up... Juz think about it... u told urself that u deserved better & told urself that u wanted to give up & juz when ur about to do it, they do something to make u happy again in an instant... then u fgt all about what u were about to do...

-_-" funny rite? But that's what always happen...

It's 1:30am rite nw... Juz got bck from the S'pore VS Vietnam match... S'pore lost... My 1st time watching a soccer match @ the National Stadium & the team i supported lost... Oh well... I can't sleep anyway... i hav'nt been able to have much sleep nowadays... so i usually juz stay up till ard 3am+ playing Left 4 Dead... Then when every1's gone to sleep... I'll still be awake... Can't seem to sleep... Juz listen to my MP3 & stare @ blank space... or look @ the ceiling while lying on my bed... listening to my stomach growl cos i hav'nt eaten since morning but i have no appetite to eat...

So i might as well get back to my previous topic...

I read from 1 of my friend's blog the other day... he declined several offers to watch a certain movie cos he wanted to watch it with his GF but his GF's always said that she's not free & that she's always BZ but then 1 day, he called & found out that his GF was watching that movie @ home cos she bot the VCD... my friend got pissed off lah... of cos... who would'nt be... how can she be so... sigh... when he asked her out for a date, she said that she's bz but she always find the time to go out with her cousin & friends... sux rite?! Dats how it is... but we're supposed to juz be patient & wait... hope & pray dat everything will be back to normal... back to the good days when we whisper sweet words to their ears...

We ask ourselves... why do we keep taking this kind of treatment... well... maybe we endure this hardship cos we're insecure deep inside... maybe we're scared that if we were to let go... we might not get another chance... maybe no1 else will come & we'll loose the happiness we have yearned for so long... so we tend to cling to those we already have... but someway, somehow... thinks always go wrong... it always does... no matter how good u treat that person... maybe it's all fated but to me... if we dun fight for the ones we love the most... then what else do we fight for?!

So juz suffer in silence... hope & pray that everything will be ok someday... hope for the day... u'll be able to hold her/his hand again... kiss it & tell her/him that u love her/him... hope for the day... he/she will return u the love bck & say the words u longed to hear her say... maybe they still dun noe how they mean to u... maybe they're juz really bz with their daily commitments... so dry those tears & pray... keep on praying cos... that's all we could do if they dun even reply ur msgs... or even worst... reply in such a way that u wished u did'nt msg them in the 1st place... believe me when i say that i noe what u guyz are gg thru... sigh...

Good Luck... May Allah answer ur prayers... I dun feel like blogging anymore... Time check... 3:45am... sigh...

Thx for reading guyz...

Here's The Low Down

2008-12-17T01:08:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, Zaid called asked me out to buy the tickets to the S'pore Vs Vietnam match which will be held this Sunday. The orginal plan was to meet up early @ JP around 10am to have breakfast tgr with Pika, Khir & Latiff but every1 woke up late... especially Pika. I slept @ 3am the previous night but i still gt there faster then the rest. I called Pika but she was still sleeping & picked up the phone half asleep & got bck to sleep as sonn as she put the phone dwn -_-"... she said that she'll join us after we had our breakfast but in the end, she did'nt even meet with us... Rabak seh Pika...

So Zaid, Khir, Latiff & I rendezvous @ the new Starbucks @ JP, drank some frappes before taking the train to Lavender to buy the tickets. Zaid bot 2 extra tickets juz in case the guyz wanna join us ltr. The que looked very3 long but the service was super fast seh. We bot the tickets in less than 10 mins seh. Wow!! Dats what i call service but the guy selling the tickets were too fast that he tore our tickets -_-" nvm...

After we got the tickets, the guyz accompany me to Beach Road to eat my fav Kway Teow Goreng Hehe. Thx guyz!! Then i found out that i can reach Beach Riad quite easily by taking 51 or 197 from home... How convenient!! Now i can go there to buy my fav food with juz 1 bus. Woohoo!! Bez pe my place?! It's so accessable seh!! Oohkay... let continue with the post shall we?! Hehe. We then took a bus to Vivo City cos Latiff wanted to eat his fav Spaghetti with Chicken Chop. We had lots of laughs in the bus on the way there. There was this uncle who was so sound asleep that he did'nt even react when the bus brakes & his head flung forward & band onto the front seat with a BANG!! Khir & I can't controll ourselves & tearing away trying not to laugh. Wakakakaka!! Latiff was already laughing & kept saying DIAM2!! Rabak sak korang!!

We burst out with laughter the moment we reached VIVO city & got off the bus. Ooh Aam Gee!! Leh mati sak!! Kalau ketawa mcm gitu everyday!! Wakakaka!! Then Khir received a call from Lisa, saying that she'll be joining us with Jamal & Zack but i was wondering why?! Cos we got no plans seh. Then Latiff found out that he accidentally used up the money that his parents gave him to buy groceries with & he panicked. So i lend him $5/- so he could eat then we went around VIVO city for the Left 4 Dead game cos he wanted to buy but unfortunately the place got no stock seh... NO STOCK IN VIVO @ ALL SEH!!! WTH LAH!!! So we decided to go to PS cos dats where i bot mine & decided to lend him $58/- so dat he can buy the game & he promised to pay me bck on the 30th. So we took the NEL (North East Line) train to Douby Ghaut & reached PS in no time @ all but we totally fgt about Lisa's group but it turns out that Khir had already told them dat we're gg to PS so they were already there.

So i bot the game for Latiff & he was shocked to see dat he got a free mousepad & a poster for free. Totally worth it i tell you!! Wait till u play the game bro!! Hehe. Lisa, Zack & Jamal joined us soon after but SERIOUSLY guyz?! We were about to go home seh... WTH!! Ntg else to do here unless u guyz wanna watch movie but... the guyz got no $ seh. So Latiff asked me to come over to his place to watch Resident Evil Degeneration which is the sequel to the resident evil series. This is the original game series OKAY!! Not the crap they're showing on the movies... SERIOUSLY!! The Resident Evil movies they're showing thus far is so out of date seh.

So we said our goodbyes then Latiff, Jamal & I took the train to JE MRT before taking 335 to Latiff's place. Jamal did'nt join us & went home straight, he lives near Latiff's place. So we alighted & i bot a Mega Mac Meal before gg to his place cos i'm so hungry seh. Then we solat & installed the Left 4 Dead game. Then Latiff tried out the game 1st before we started watching The Resident Evil Degeneration Movie. Ooh Aam Gee!! The Graphics were juz AWESOME & CLEAR seh!! COOL!! The story continued after Resident Evil 2 after the Goverment Destroyed Racoon City with a NUKE & erased all traces of umbrella corporation's files on the deadly T Virus. U got to watch this movie guyz!! Dats if u guyz actually noe the true story line & played the game. The heroe of the Story is Leon of cos. Woohoo!!

I only played the game till Resident Evil 4 seh & it turns out that it's all connected to this movie seh cos Resident Evil 5 which is the latest, took place in Africa & it so happens that the terrorist frm this movie was an organization from Africa too. OMG!! If only i have a PS3 seh!! I wanna play the game & noe the story seh!! DAMN!! I was @ Latiff's place till around 10+pm before i went home but Latiff lend me his RA3 (Red Alert 3) game before i left for home. I took the usual bus home then went straight online after taking a bath & played Left 4 Dead with Latiff online till around 2am before calling it a day.

Thx for reading guyz

The Aftermath...

2008-12-13T00:54:00.000-08:00

On 1st Dec 2008 i gave Hun a B'day surprise. She was not in the mood after her sis took the house keys with some of her stuffs & locked her in her own house... Hun told me that she wanted to go to Woodlands to have a group study session with her classmates but she had to cancell it due to this incident... i tried to cheer her up but she was so negative & was so down... so i bot her flowers & a B'day cake but then i remembered that her door was locked so how was i supposed to give it to her... plus she'll be all alone @ home which means that it won't be appropriate if i were to be there alone with her. So i was about to cancell the B'day surprise but then she told me that Hudz was there & that she had to let her in thru the front window. LoL. OMG!!

That was good news!! It means that i can proceed with the plans. So i rushed to her place after getting all the stuffs. I reached there ard 4+pm & wanted to call Hudz but then Hun saw me & panicked. LoL. She was like: Huda2!!! Mirza datang!!! MCM MANA NI?! AKU LOM MANDI!!! LoL. I was laughing when she said that cos it was so hilarious!! Then after a few minute of blurness from Hun, she finally asked me to get the spare keys from her neighbour... I was like Huh?! Her neighbour had the keys all along?! Ler... -_-" I finally got in after that & asked her to close her eyes but she refused. I had to ask Hudz for help b4 we finally managed to get her to do it... -_-". With her eyes closed, i prepared the B'day cake, lit the candles, arranged her gift & flower nicely before finally letting her open her eyes. She was shocked & she smiled widely. She looked so happy... I was glad... Cos she was so down & negative earlier on.

Then my tummy started to growl so i ordered Mac before Hudz & I went to draw some money while Hun stayed behind to bathe. Eeeee Hun Uchuk!! Hehe. Slekeh dia!! The delivery guy came 15 mins early & we had to rush bck to Hun's place to give the payments & found out that her parents had returned from M'sia. So We all had our Lunch/Dinner tgr & took some pics for them before sending Hudz to the bus stop cos she said that she was tired & wanted to study for her exam which was on the next day. So Hun & I walked her to the bus stop & waited for the bus together with her. I was beign my usual self... goofing around with my sarcasm =) but got pinched very3 badly by Hun =( sigh... maybe she dun like it... maybe i was too out of line... oh well... my whole body was aching after that but i asked Hun on what time she wanted to study.

She told me A.S.A.P so i took the bus home immidiately after sending her back. So i got home & was about to take a bath when i noticed that my whole body was badly bruised... the worst was on my arm... there was this huge blue-black bruise seh. Then i studied after a nice long bath. 2 weeks has passed since that day... I hav'nt seen Hun ever since... She's been very2 quiet lately & i have been busy revising for my common test... My msgs we left unreplied... well she did reply some... nvm. She said that she has no mood... cos of something dat happened @ home... i dun wanna reveal any further. Anyways... my test papers were ok except for the ETE paper... which was very3 hard... I stayed up the whole night to study for it... only getting 2hrs of rest but i still dun noe hw to do it... i'll most probably need to retake that paper. After the paper, Ted & I went to KAP (King Albert Park) & had our breakfast. We talked about some stuffs dat got me thinking alot... then i went bck & got my well deserved sleep.

I went back to skool with my classmates the next day to study for my last paper but i don't have any money so i did'nt eat anything... after a whole day of revision, i went home but my mom did'nt cook but my younger bro called... saying that he's gonna buy me some KFC for me but he got home @ 12am & the KFC was already cold... then he accidentlally changed the whip potato to cheese fries instead of the veggies... Sigh... the cheese fries was already cold too by the time he got bck... Yucky... Sigh... juz my luck i guess... Oh well... The 1st meal of the day taken @ 12:30am the nxt day & it sux...

Friday12 Dec 2008

My Common Tests were finally over & my classmates & i wanted to celebrate so we went out together... the original plan was to eat @ Sakura then buy the Left 4 Dead game before watching a movie but everything went wrong... i end up eating KFC with Shawn with the rest went to Suki Shushi. Shawn & i went to Far East Plaza after that cos i wanted to buy the ring that i have been wanting to buy since forever... but... the ring was no longer there... so we went to look around but it was to no avail... then Shawn wanted to go home so i accompanied him to the MRT STN before going bck to Ceneleisure to wait for the rest of the guys to fin eating before we continue with the plan.

Darrick asked me to join them in Suki Shushi but i wanted to wait outside... then Zack & the guyz ushered me in (well Sort of) & i sat beside Mimi. Oooh Aaam Geee!! They were all bloated from eating so much seh. The table was filled with empty plates & leftovers but they still keep on eating... Woah... if ony i can join them but... it's not halal... so i only ate mango pudding & ice cream which was halal cos the wording was written in malay & i usually buy it in the supermarket & they were my fav deserts. After lunch, we made our way to PS to buy the long awaited game Left 4 Dead. This game is AWESOME i tell u!! It's a must have!! But the shop dat we were buying it from, only had 3 of it left on stock so YX did'nt get to buy... YX was dwn but then Ben & Darrick gave him a surprise by buying it for him as his B'day gift. They actually went to another shop in PS & got it for him. Sweet pe?! We also bot a gift for Bryan cos it his B'day was 2 days ago... We did'nt have time before due to our revisons... So now we got him a cute figurine of Butters from South Park & the fururine will say "Son Of A Biscuit" XD cute pe?!

Butters is my fav character in South Park... He is soo Cute, Kind & Clueless seh. After buying the B'day gift, we hanged around PS till 9+pm before going back... Overall, i think it was an ok class outing... could have gone better if we had watched a movie... i told them to book the tickets but they juz ignored me & keep waisting time till it was too late... This always happens... I reached home around 10+pm & played Left 4 Dead with the guyz till 3+pm before finally calling it a day... was so tired & my back aches from walking the whole day but i had fun. I planned to hang out with my cuzzies & my best friends till skool reopens.

Thx for reading guyz

My Love For You

2008-11-30T20:39:00.000-08:00

Woke up this morning with an empty feeling...
Feels like something big is missing...
Rolled to my side & felt something warm by my face...
Teddy!! I said & took it to embrase...
The sweet gift u gave me has nvr left my side every night...
I stared to blank space reminising the times we had...
I was so happy but right now i'm kinda sad...
It's been so long since we last met...
Our exams are juz ard the corner & we're both burdened by the huge load...
Is there anything i can do for u...
Or am i juz as helpless as the princess i'm trying to rescue...

Heard knocking on my locked door but was too lazy to open...
Can't i juz stay in bed while dreaming of a little piece of Heaven...
Then i hear the sound of keys & the door opened soon after...
I got up, took a bath & felt better...
Morning turned to Noon...
I went online & hope to chat with u soon...
U went online & i said hi...
We chat as the time fly...

Then u turned silent & i wonder why...
Maybe ur bz so i replied with a sigh...
U replied saying srry what was i saying...
I was fed up so i said nothing...
She replied bck saying that i should'nt get fed up over small things....
I was shocked as on hw she noe hw i was feeling...
My shock turned to Awe as we continued to chat...
She started to tease me, can u believe that...

Hold on i need to restart she said...
So i gave her loads of I MISS U & I SYG U msgs as i wait...
Stop copying/pasting she said so i began...
Slow as i may, i typed it all out again...
I typed XOXO & asked her what it means...
She kept getting it wrong & got fed up...
It means Hugs & Kisses, so please cheer up...
Bedek!!! She replied & spammed those words...
I assured her that i'm not & asked if she misses her Dear...

Why?! She asked & thought i had forgotten the words she said to my ear...
No i hav'nt, i replied & said those very words that i hold so dear...
Happiness fills my heart but then i heard an awefull sound...
It was my tummy asking me to get something to chow down...
So to the kitchen i went to fix myself something to eat...
Then i offered to on the webcam & wanted to feed her dat something sweet...
No thx she said reason cos she'll only got jealous...
Cos it's on of her favourite dishes...
So i took a few bites & she said goodbye...
Till next time my Love & returned her goodbye...
What started off as a sad & gloomy day...
Became so cheerfull although it was a raining today...

The day has'nt end yet...

But that's all u'll hope to get...

Hehe. Thx for reading Guyz!!

LOVE YOU HUN!!

How things are going...

2008-11-30T03:45:00.000-08:00

Thursday 27th November 2008

I had a great time last Thursday!! I was looking forward to it ever since last week!! Been recuperating from my leg injury & have been really2 training my legs to get ready for this week's S&W lesson cos i did'nt perform to my fullest the last time. So when S&W started on Thursday, i was PUMPED!! But it was different!! The main coach was there & together with the rest of the other coaches, they seperated our class (Our S&W class consist of alot of people from other courses who pick this sport) into 3 teams & made us go against each other in elimination matches & i was on team 2. Then after 1hr, Guess what?! MY TEAM WON ALL THE MATCHES & BEAT ALL THE OTHER TEAMS!! It was GREAT!! One of the most memorable thing that happened was when we were loosing but then there was a turn over & it was our turn on Offence then Ted gave me a bullet pass!! He was 40 yards away & he could still pass me the ball that FAST & WITH THAT MONSTROUS POWER!! Ur one HELL OF A GUY TED!! I caught the ball inches away from touchdown & could have gotten it too but his pass caused me to spin in midair & landed awkwardly then i got tackled, causing making me to miss that touchdown but mintues after that, Ted got the touchdown & we won that match. Woohoo!!

Then just when we tot everything was over, the coaches asked us to pick our best 7 guys to go against them!! Oooh Aaam Geee!! We were so PUMPED!! TED & I (Bash Brothers) picked our best guyz, gave our plays & got ready for the BIGGEST & Hardest match yet!! I wanted to be running back but we got Benny!! The Fastest Running Back(RB) we got, even though he was injured from last week... srry Benny. So i became the line backer & was in charge of protecting our Quarter Back (QB) from the opposition team & the biggest coach on the opposing team, which was Leanord. So what!! He's ntg!! I tot as i got ready to Blitz!! But when we set off, i twisted my ankle & fell down... Damn dat was embarressing... DUDE DAT WAS SO UNCOOL!! I told myself & got back up as i saw the coaches got the 1st down... Sigh...

So i got ready for the nxt Blitz & then BOOM we clashed!! I was expecting a strong assault from Leanord but i was dissapointed... He was'nt dat strong after all, as i pushed him back round after round & u can see the sad look on his face cos he can't get thru to our solid defence but i can't say the same thing about back team cos our guys could'nt catch Gabriel who was the opposing team's Runningback (RB) & Quarterback(QB)... DAMN DAT GUY'S FAST!! IT'S RIDICULOUS!! No one has managed to get him ever since we started & we were loosing bad cos we only got 1 more try b4 the Coaches get their Touchdown... But then Benny got something on his mind as he huddled up with Ted & the rest of our back team!! I did'nt noe what it was cos i was upfront but i did what i did best which was to push back their line. Then suddently i saw the ball flying past me as i saw some1 running toward touchdown! RUUUN2!!! We shouted as we saw 1 of our team members got the touchdown!! WOOHOO!! WE WON!! Oooh Aaam Geee!! WE WON AGAINST THE COACHES!! HOLY SHIT!! HOW DID DAT HAPPEN?! Wakakaka!!

The coaches were Dumbfounded as they had that dazzed look on their faces while we were jumping around celebrating our HUGE VICTORY against them!! I guess they did'nt expect us to make that HUGE comeback... who would'nt... even i tot that we were going to loose seh but my team managed to make that Miraculous comeback. Oooh Aaam Geee!! I was so HAPPY!! Woohoo!! Surely we'll get bragging rights after that win!! Wakakaka!! Our S&W lesson ended as soon as that match ended & i head to the changing room after marking my attendence. We talked about it in the changingroom. It was touchdown after touchdown as we won all our games. We were on a rool seh!! We were so proud!! Hehe. I can't wait for our next S&W lesson. Ted & I were thinking about joining the school team after that but we still have alot to thinking to do.

Then i suggested that we go to KFC for dinner & invited the guys but most of them were exhausted & Amirul wanted to go see the doctor cos he got injured. Then Zack called & wanted to join us for dinner. Then i called Ben who was with the rest of my classmates & told me that they'll be joining us as well. So we waited for the guys to come & walked to Bukit Timah Plaza's KFC for our dinner. Ted & Nick took a cab home after dinner while i waited for Darrick to get some stuff for his GF with the rest of the guyz. While waiting, we saw this bunch of people doing Taibo & all the people there were girls except for this 1 guy... Ooh Aam Gee!! What A LOOOSER!! He looked exhausted while the other girls all looked fine & well. The guyz & I were laughing so loud seh!! It was so funny to see that guy struggling to cope with the rest... DUDE U SUCK!! Wakakaka!! WEAK SEH!!

It took some time b4 Darrick got his stuffs then we went to the supermarket & i bot some Candycanes while the guyz bot some treats to get ready for our study session but we ended up talking & i played the new game Left For Dead on Ben's lappy till ard 11+pm before Darrick give us a lift home in a cab... The cab was going so fast & nearly crashed into another car but managed to dodge it my making an E-brake. But Alhmdllh ntg happened... All i was thinking@ that time was what will Hun do if anything were to happen... Will she be sad... Cos we seldom meet anymore... & our MSN conversation have been filled with silent moments... all i did nowadays was stare @ her beautifull face & left speechless everytime... Sigh... I miss her so much... Hw i wish i can tell her how i feel... I wanna go back to when we can juz go out & have a great time not worrying about anything... Sigh... I rarely get any msgs nowadays... Maybe she need some space...

She's been so quiet lately cos of the upcoming exams... so i told her that we should take some time off to just concentrate on our exams & common tests... I hate exams... cos shit happens every single time... She told me the other day that she's scared of loosing me... i was wondering why she's so scared... But then juz nw i was shocked... cos the last time some1 told me that was when i replied saying that i'm not going anywhere & that she's not gonna loose me & that's the same reply i gave to Hun... i only remembered this while i was writing this post... Suddently i got scared cos the last time i said that... i let that person go cos i she made me miserable... Sigh... maybe i'm thinking too much again... It's already 3:30am now & i still can't sleep...

Okay back to the story... i reached home around 11:45pm studied all the way till 3am & i fell asleep on my lappy till morning.

I should better get to sleep now... Thx for reading guyz...