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Saturday, April 19, 2008
Sat was very boring...i woke up @ ard 6+am as usual & went on9. My plans for tdy had been cancelled...I chat with MZ & IN for awhile, updated my blog, had my brekfast & went straight bck 2 bed. Woke up again @ ard 4pm+ & noticed that i had 2 misscalls with an unknown hm no. Hmm...whoever u r, i'm srry...i ai'nt gonna pick up a call frm an unknown no...i'm in a dangerous position rite nw. Then i watched TV till 6+ then went on9. Fir was on9 & asked me to call him & he then asked me if i wanna go have dinner with A.W.A tdy but the prob with it is that my EZ-Link is empty & i asked my DAD 2 help me top it up & he's nt hm yet. Then i also running low on cash...sigh...i hope my student pass will be ready soon cos the bus fares is really burning a hole in my pocket seh... I'm very dwn tdy...maybe because she's dwn...i always wrry abt her...for some1 so small to have so much responsibility & probs is hard enuf but nw to loose something so precious 2 her...it must be very frustrating...i dun even dare 2 call her...sad seh...i hope some1 will be kind enuf 2 return it 2 ya with everything still inside. I went 2 iron my clothes 2 prepare for ltr cos i really need 2 get out of this house...cos u noe me...i tend 2 reminice abt then past when i'm @ hm with ntg 2 do...i hate it...this place holds so much memories...I'v been living here ever since i was in kindergarten. My mom saw me ironing my clothes & asked where i was gg & told me to just stay home for once & have dinner with the entire family cos i'm rarely @ hm nwadays...hmm...i did'nt noe they miss me dat much. I'm really lucky 2 have parents who show me so much love but theres a reason why it's nt wrking... They were'nt always this loving towards me...i remember coming hm frm Sec Sch feeling so banged up after all the fights @ skool & my parents won't even notice that i'm there...my grades were very2 low & they gave my younger bros more attention than me & i gt jealous & always disturb them & always end up getting beat up by my DAD... Sigh maybe it was my fault...i dunno..but as usual i faught bck...all this will be happening with my mom screaming for us 2 to fighting. Damn it!! It was screwed!! This happens for like every day...I hated them...my parents...it was always my fault...then when i was wrking or schooling, my younger bros always get 1st priority in the mng & i always end up getting scolded for coming late...sigh. But all this changed when i went into NS...they were pussled why i was so quiet during that time...i stopped gg out, stopped disturbing my younger bros & just locked myself in my room & let it all out...but till nw they nvr noe what happened to me...they were nvr there for me...i have a family but i was always alone. But they slowly treated me better & i slowly gt closer to them. Then evrything changed when i went into Dover...my grades skyrocketed. I kept getting 'A' for my class tests. I nvr told them abt it till i fin my 1st yr in ITE. I remember giving them a note for the parents meeting & the 1st thing they say is: APA NI!! KENA JUMPA CIKGU LAGI EH?! SUROH PAPA PERGI LAH!! MAMA MALAS NK DENGAR CIKGU COMPLAIN!!! I told them that it was'nt like that & that both parents are invited. Told them that i gt straight 'A's for my exams & the look on their faces were priceless. Who would'nt be...they dun even noe that i had exams. It was the Holidays & the exams results already gt out & they were like: Abg!! Bila skola nk start?! Bila exam Abg start?! They dun even noe what GPA is. When i told them i gt 4 GPA points, they were like huh? 4 aje? 2 bagus ke tidak? Sigh...i was to tired 2 explain it to them...they nvr understand it. So i told them 2 just come for the Meet The Parents Session. I remember seeing Epul & Ah Soon there. Fir was also there but i dun noe him bck then. Fir was then loudest guy there. LOL. Biasa jgk!! Then i remember the teacher coming over 2 my parents & praising me for my gd grades & attitude in skool. U should see the look on my parent's faces...they did'nt belief what they were hearing. Cos they usually get complains & lectures abt hw 2 make me study & stuff. That day, my parents looked so proud...i nvr saw them like that b4. & nw i'm in NP. My mom cried when i told her that i gt into NP. She told evry1 abt my results. I wanted 2 tell my loved 1's myself seh. My mom was like srry lah...Mama kan proud of Abg. LOL. That was the 1st time she ever said that. They were nvr proud of me...NVR. I gt support frm my cuzzies & Aunts but i rarely gt it frm them. I always celebrate my gd results with my friends but nvr with them. I find in hard 2 confide in them even though they show me so much love rite nw. Maybe i gt trust issues. I dunno. But i'm wrking on it. I noe i'm wrking on it cos the other day, my mom was like giving me hugs & stuff & kept saying: Abg sayang Mama tk & for some reason i said Sayang lah sayang lah!! OMG!! I can't belief i said that!! I was shocked & so was she!! I went straight 2 my rm & listen 2 music after that. What was that seh!! I realised something that day. That it's dangerous 2 manja ard. Scared i might say something that i should'nt have...Damn!! So i reduced the amt of time i spent in MSN. Mainly because the girls i dated r still intrested in me & the fact that the time i spent chatting with them on9 is more than the time i spent with Sabby scared the SHIT out of me... I felt so scared & started 2 appear off9 just 2 avoid them. Nw i ony go on9 during the late hrs of the night. Nw i'm getting unknown phonecalls. Like WTH!! Is this some kind of test or something!! Hmm maybe it is & maybe it's nt but i ai'nt gonna do anyhting stupid!! I'm gonna visit Dover during my free time nw cos i'll ony get busier in the future & i shud use any free time i have nw & spend it with the 1 care for the most. The gd thing abt NP is that i'm so close 2 my CUZZIES!!! WooHoo!! Dee & Sis Sha2 r so near 2 me nw & i hope we get 2 hang out soon. I'll be looking forward 2 it. K bck 2 tdy's story!! I called Fir telling him that i won't be joining him & the guys for dinner cos i'll be having it @ home with my FAMILY instead. It's been a long time coming. I miss the kecoh atmosphere of having dinner with my family while watching Movie on d tv with unwanted naration frm my dad, endless talking frm my Mom & ridiculous jokes frm my bros. Hehe. I think i shud stop here for tdy. Srry if i'm so emo in tdy's post. Thx 4 reading & Tc Labels: Broken Walls |
 
Mohamad Syamirza
a.k.a Syam (Erm... apparently almost everyone in my class calls me my this name now... even teachers -_-") MiRzA (Norm for relatives & friends) Mimi (LoL Pika only... so far) ZaZa (Ak only so far =P) I'm 26 25/12/1984 --- Msn Likes: NFL, Cycling, Bowling, Badminton, Outdoor Activiteis, Music, Animes, Movies, Games  New Jeans New Clothes A White Beanie A new MP3 A Big Punching Bag Boxer Gloves A New Set Of Weight A Black Bicycle w/gearsSorry if i leave anyone out :) MJ12 Zi Yee Siti Yuyun Hidayah hAni Ayue Ayue2 A.W.A AfiqNadd Molly Dee Sabby Linda Dyla Yana Fyda BEN Ahmad Amirul Clarissa Pei Yi Pika Fir Khir Jas SrtStf Tunchit Acah Badd Latiff Hafiz Nizar Kamisah Zach Dzhabar Isnady Shawn March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 April 2010 September 2010 October 2010 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 November 2011 April 2012   Music Playlist at MixPod.com Designer: SiewSuen♥ Basecode:Chili. |
