|
Saturday, June 14, 2008
I gt a phone call on Friday @ 3am in the morning...Usually i'll just ignore & just get back to sleep when i don't recognise the number but this time i was kinda curious, so i picked up the call. It was a girls voice that said hello. Hmm while i wondered...I kinda recognise the voice but who... but before i could ask...she already told me. Hi Mirza...Srry to disturb u so late...I just wanna talk to you about something...this is Lilly btw. OoO Lilly. I was like...U still keep my hp no? It's been ayear since we last chat...i gt her MSN but i just did'nt noe what to say you noe. Then i apologised to her for the past...i kinda rejected her in the past...cos i liked someone else... She said that it's ok...cos i followed my heart. Hmm...somehow...that statement makes me angry...i dun think i trust my heart anymore...but i just kept quiet. She asked me if i'm ok...so sweet rite? I'm not really sure if i'm ok or not...i dun think i'm ok...something's been missing ever since i started my POLY life...feels so empty inside...but it got worst during & after the common tests...bad things kept happening to me & my close friends & family were'nt really there for me except for 2 special people. U guys noe who you are! Sayang korang! Can't sleep eh? I asked her. But she said that there's just something she wants to get off her chest. The moment she said that...i was like huh?! What izzit?! But then she start asking so many personal questions...i guess i nvr told her abt all that before...guess she's curious...but i was wondering who told her about all the stuff that she asked me...so many personal infos...but she said that she promised that person nt to reveal who dat person is... I got pissed...i told her that i dun like people talking about me behind my back...so i really wanna noe who's behind all this matchmaking shit!! It's nt dat i dun like the attention...it's just that i feel so vulnerable cos people i dun know, noes about me & my past. It's Irritating!! But she would'nt tell me so i got fed up...but she apologised so sincerely that i could'nt be mad @ her seh. She then asked me if we can hang out like we used to during my DOVER ITE days. Of cos we can!! I nvr said that we can't hang out anymore. She said that i dun call, msg & stuff. LoL. I nvr do did i?! As a matter of fact i nvr liked to call girls & i dun like to msg people anymore either cos they either reply late or nvr reply @ all. So i just msg people if i was msged 1st & calling girls...erm just is'nt my thing ya noe...i get so freaking nervous on the phone...the i'll start blabbering on & on about myself...so ya i rarely call. Even if i really2 like dat person, i still won't call. The main reason is that my home phone's wiring sux. The other party always has a hard time hearing what i have to say cos they can't hear me cos the volume is very3 soft. Just imagine spending the whole day to make a sweet poem then when u finally get a chance to recite it...the girl went: Huh? Srry what?! I can't hear you...can u speak louder? You volume's too soft. Sigh...That always happens...but the other party is usually very2 secretive about this...they won't tell me about it until a time when we were joking & laughing loudly...then she'll ask me. Is there a problem with ur phone?! Then i'll go huh? My phone?! I'm not sure...why?! Then she'll go...OoO nvm then. Then i finally found out what she meant when my best friends calls me or i call them through my home phone. OMG!! She has the patience to try to hear what i'm saying even though it's so FREAKING soft~~i feel so bad seh. So i dun call. Saves u people from having neckaches. Secondly... it's because my mom's always on the phone. But i like chatting on MSN so u can make a phone call there anytime. I like Video calls too...i dunno y though. I just think dat it's cool ya noe. She reacted with a big long Ooooooooo. LoL. I'm not the type of person who ignore people on purpose...it's just that...it's wierd ya noe. A girl likes you but u like another girl...then the relationship did'nt work out...then ur back @ square1 talking to the girl u rejected in the first place. It's like a "BIG FAT" SERVES YOU RIGHT!! Ironic is'nt it?! We chat about all sorts of things after that & for some reason i got really comfortable with her but it's already 5+am in the morning. So i asked her to get some rest & we hanged up. Hmm...it always started of this way...Sigh...i'm nt ready for this again...Cos i'll always be the one who ends up miserable in the end...While the girl walks away with another guy...I don't need anymore of this. I have trust issues rite now...Hmm...Srry really2 srry...If ur reading this...cos the person who told you all about me could'nt have missed telling u about my blog...then i want u to prove me wrong. I'm very3 stubborn. I told u this before...So prove me wrong. But maybe i need this rite nw...Sigh...i dunno ah. I'm an idiot i noe... I don't know what to do right now...i'm already having problems just living a normal single life...getting into another relationship to erase the sad memories of the previous girl has always worked for me...even if it's temporary. I'll change for the better but it'll get worst everytime it did'nt work out. I hope u know how hard it is for me. I'm gonna end this post here for nw... I need to get some shut eye... Labels: What Should I Do |
 
Mohamad Syamirza
a.k.a Syam (Erm... apparently almost everyone in my class calls me my this name now... even teachers -_-") MiRzA (Norm for relatives & friends) Mimi (LoL Pika only... so far) ZaZa (Ak only so far =P) I'm 26 25/12/1984 --- Msn Likes: NFL, Cycling, Bowling, Badminton, Outdoor Activiteis, Music, Animes, Movies, Games  New Jeans New Clothes A White Beanie A new MP3 A Big Punching Bag Boxer Gloves A New Set Of Weight A Black Bicycle w/gearsSorry if i leave anyone out :) MJ12 Zi Yee Siti Yuyun Hidayah hAni Ayue Ayue2 A.W.A AfiqNadd Molly Dee Sabby Linda Dyla Yana Fyda BEN Ahmad Amirul Clarissa Pei Yi Pika Fir Khir Jas SrtStf Tunchit Acah Badd Latiff Hafiz Nizar Kamisah Zach Dzhabar Isnady Shawn March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 April 2010 September 2010 October 2010 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 November 2011 April 2012   Music Playlist at MixPod.com Designer: SiewSuen♥ Basecode:Chili. |
