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Friday, May 29, 2009
Tuesday 26th May 2009 The actual plan for the day was to come to skool to revise for tmrw's AECAM test with Hidayah from 10am till 12nn then meet up with Amirul, Ahmad, Amal & Rafiq to catch Night @ the Museum 2 but as usual i arrived early... 30mins early & the classroom was occupied by a class, so i went to look @ the schedules of every class for the day & found out dat the room will only be available from 11am till noon... sigh... juz my luck... then Hidayah was late plak tu... boring sak dtg skola cepat2 with no1 there to talk to. So i went to the sitting area @ block 47 & listened to my MP3 & revised. Hidayah arrived around 10:40am then we chat awhile till 11am, before gg into the classroom to revise the Quiz examples, to prepare for tmrw's test. To my surprise, it was so FREAKING easy seh!! LoL Then i checked my sms & found out dat the movie was cancelled seh cos the guyz tk de duit -_-" fed up seh... so i went home after we revised. Sux seh... what a dissapointment sak... i rejected several invitations for dat movie to go out with the guyz but in the end it was cancelled... Grrrr. While i was otw home, the weather got really3 hot seh & i was sweating non stop so i left all my stuff in the shoe rack outside my house, wore my jacket then ran around the jogging track a few rounds before gg back home to rest. So starting from tdy, i'll start my training again. Hehe. It's about time sak!! I'm getting too fat seh so i'm gonna get back in shape & damn i feel good!! Hehe. I feel energised again & i got my drive again. Anyways, i kinda miss the guyz seh... we seldom hang out anymore thx to the endless assignments & tests. I chat with AK till 1am plus before gg to sleep. Wednesday 27th May 2009 I was supposed to make a presentation tdy but it was postponed till next week... sigh... so boring... coming to skool juz for an hour of lesson. I went home & went for another roadwork but DAMN IT WAS SO HOT!!! I felt dehydrated seh... so i bot some drinks before running back home & worked out. I fell asleep till 7pm + before praying & finally washing up before dinner. After dinner, i tried to study for MF test but i didn't understand a single thing so i waited for Amirul to come online but he didn't... i guess he fgt abt helping me =( . Then suddenly my mom came into my room & asked me, abt my upcoming test then he asked me why i failed my Math exam... She asked me if it was really dat hard... cos she saw me studying so much for it & juz couldn't believe dat i failed... so i told her abt the whole story. The night before the Math exam, i went online in MSN to ask my friends abt the questions dat i don't noe... then i saw Ani online so as usual i said hi... but then we exchanged songs & then Ani asked me to let her go... Sigh... i was broken... i did'nt wanna do it... but she asked me to... if dat'll make her happy then i had no choice so i said ok... I did'nt noe why she want me to let her go... That question has been in my mind ever since dat day... I guess it's too hard for her to cope... She did say that for her... if my mom dun like her than to her it's hopeless but i did'nt tell her dat my liked her alot... the words did'nt come out... i was juz too sad to think straight... then she said dat it's harder than i noe... but i dun get it & i still dun cos to me, anything is possible if we dun give up but i guess dats juz me... i said i loved her for the last time but she did'nt reply & juz log out... She shattered my fragile heart dat night. I could'nt study... neither could i get any sleep dat night... i kept asking why & stayed awake till mng... i was'nt thinking straight & i went to the exam room the next day to sit for my Math exam paper... i did section A & B but when it comes to section C... my mind started to wonder... tears flowed & my mind went blank... i kept thinking abt her... then suddenly the invidulator annouched dat there was only 10mins left... i was shocked!! what was i doing... i went blank!! Sigh... i tried to asn the remaining questions but i could'nt remember anything. The moment the invidulator asked me to pun down my pen... i knew i was gonna fail... no dout about it cos section c was worth 50 marks. It's my fault for starting a conversation with Ani the prev night... it's my fault for thinking too much... it's my fault for not sleeping. My mom cried after i told her abt it... she said srry to me... she said: Mom: Srry eh nak... Mama tk tahu... kesian Abg... sampai tak leh concentrate dlm exam... Mama pun terfikir2 dari dulu... asl abg boleh fail cos Mama tahu abg blajar sungguh2. Tk pe lah nak... Mama akan doakan Abg supaya nanti Abg dimurahkan rezeki & supaya abg boleh jumpa yang lebih baik... supaya Abg akan happy balik... She said dat while hugging me & crying... i felt her tears running down my back. I was so touched by her words but all i could say was ok. After all the hardship i've been through... i kinda lost faith in Allah after the exam but my Mom kept asking me to pray & have faith so i can concentrate in class but now she noes the real reason. She kept saying srry to me... sigh. She said dat i'm all she has... cos my bro Syafiq could'nt be depended on & my bro Boy2 (Syazwan) is still too young although he is the most dependable out of the 3 of us. I've always thought about my family... we're not rich but we're not poor either... i guess u can say we're juz right. We've grown closer & stronger through all the hardship all this years & i'm so lucky to have my parents supporting me with my studies. I'll study hard & pay u guyz back for all the kindness & support u've given/shown me thru all the years. I told my mom dat i'm ok now so she should'nt worry about me anymore & continued to study. I still can't believe my mom cried for me... i was stunned... touched... felt helpless. It kinda makes me wanna try harder in life... in every espect of it... haha. For all my close friends & bestfriends who are reading this... I'm okay lah! I'm happy with my life!! The girl i used to love has changed into some1 i dun even noe anymore & totally not my type. Hehe. I guess u guyz were right when u guyz said dat things happens for a reason. Klah dat all for now... Thx for reading guyz... Labels: tears of sympathy/sadness/guilt |
 
Mohamad Syamirza
a.k.a Syam (Erm... apparently almost everyone in my class calls me my this name now... even teachers -_-") MiRzA (Norm for relatives & friends) Mimi (LoL Pika only... so far) ZaZa (Ak only so far =P) I'm 26 25/12/1984 --- Msn Likes: NFL, Cycling, Bowling, Badminton, Outdoor Activiteis, Music, Animes, Movies, Games  New Jeans New Clothes A White Beanie A new MP3 A Big Punching Bag Boxer Gloves A New Set Of Weight A Black Bicycle w/gearsSorry if i leave anyone out :) MJ12 Zi Yee Siti Yuyun Hidayah hAni Ayue Ayue2 A.W.A AfiqNadd Molly Dee Sabby Linda Dyla Yana Fyda BEN Ahmad Amirul Clarissa Pei Yi Pika Fir Khir Jas SrtStf Tunchit Acah Badd Latiff Hafiz Nizar Kamisah Zach Dzhabar Isnady Shawn March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 April 2010 September 2010 October 2010 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 November 2011 April 2012   Music Playlist at MixPod.com Designer: SiewSuen♥ Basecode:Chili. |
